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AMbi (None)     23 December 2012

Me and my husband have been living apart for close to 9 mont

I and my husband had an arranged marriage about 1.5 yrs ago and were living in different cities.

A few months after we started living together, I met with an accident and was living with my parents for medical reasons. My husband vacated our marital house when I was at my parents house and stopped all communication with me. He has now sent me a notice for divorce accusing cruelty and mentioned that I left our marital house.

It has been 9 months since my accident and 6 months since my husband stopped talking to me.

I want to know the below?

1. Will my husband be able to divorce me on grounds of desrertion? He was the one who left me at my parents for mdical care and then left me.

2. If we do not co-habitate in 3 months( have been living separately for 9 months now), will the court pass divorce to my husband?

3. Currently although me and my parents have been trying for a reconcilation, he and his family have refused. What happens if he delays both the divorce process and refuses to live with me? Will I be able to get legal help or will he get the divorce?





 17 Replies

Ranee....... (NA)     23 December 2012

Are you not cured since these 9 months or were you on bed for 3months that you could not go back to your own home?

Anyways for desertion 2years minimum is needed..if you can show that you were really away from husband due to medical reason then there is no chances for him to get divorce rather he is cruel on you!

BTW, would you tell us what injury you had in the accident that you could not go back to husband's place for threee months after divordce?

AMbi (None)     24 December 2012


Me and my husband are seperated but not divorced. My husband has sent me a notice for divorce on grounds of cruelty.

I was on bed for about 1.5 months due to an injury in my leg and was under plaster. As I needed care and could not even walk on my own, my husband, inlaws and our families mutually decided it was better that I stayed with my parents so that they could take care of me. I had to extend my stay at parents as I had to undergo phsiotherapy for sometime and also stay at my parents house (as per our traditions,  newly wed bride stays at her parents during an inauspicious time for 1st year of marriage) and husband visited me at my parental house.

I had planned to return to my marital house and before I could return, my husband fought with me asking me to never come back to the house and eventually vacated the house along with all my belongings,




Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     24 December 2012


As Ranee stated 2 years of continous separation ( willful) required to claim ground for divorce.If your intention is to join him, dont delay . please try out mediation through elders or through professional.Meeting an advocate should be the last resort 

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No scope of reconcilation .... move forward in life !! court cases will spoil your life .. take divorse and move on

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Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     25 December 2012

You have rlreadey given him a chance.  It is he you ditched you in need.   It is he who left you at parental house.It is he who vacated the house when you are in refuge in injury.  It is he who stopped communication.  So you  have not deserted rather he has.

His immaturity is writ-large.

Better sek peaceful exist. (though I rarely advise divorce) but do not compromise on maintenance.

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     25 December 2012



Originally posted by : AMbi



I want to know the below?

1. Will my husband be able to divorce me on grounds of desrertion? He was the one who left me at my parents for mdical care and then left me.
Take: NO. As per Hindu Laws minimum period to use effectively 'desertion' as ground for divorce is 2 years not cohabiting as husband and wife together and same can be under once roof or can be based on intent to desert i.e. while living in natal home for whatever after reasons as found by a Court of Law.

2. If we do not co-habitate in 3 months (have been living separately for 9 months now), will the court pass divorce to my husband?
Take: NO. Also re-read above reply; 'desertion' if taken as ground have to be proved 50:50 by petitioning party. This 3 + 9 months is equal to 1 year thought which you have is minimum period to file a matrimonial case in reference to marriage years of this query as taken as cause of action and when such cause of action is raised by opening party (herein husband) same has to be defended in a Family Court whose further info. a hired advocate found via reference may share with respondent / wife after reading down divorce suit matter.

3. Currently although me and my parents have been trying for a reconcilation, he and his family have refused. What happens if he delays both the divorce process and refuses to live with me? Will I be able to get legal help or will he get the divorce?
Take: When he delays filing for divorce it will point to desertion provided he somehow manages delaying for a period of 2 years. However verbal refusal is not counted as assumption of not ready to live with you during cross examination. You have to take help of an Advocate found locally via reference and send to your husband a Legal Notice for restitution of conjugal rights i.e. your willingness to live together if divorce is not on your mind. Based on creating such matrimonial evidences a case is made out later if you are made to contest the same. On to your next question, every District Court’s now have setup Legal Aid Services Center for needy litigants who cannot afford litigation cost. You may directly approach them and seek help on tax payers expenses if you cannot meet legal fees as and when if any case filed against you. 



Set up assertive mediation taking help of neutral persons between affected families and find out root cause of such refusal and adjust, improvise and adopt to save a marriage if see it may work. Such neutral help can also be opted from District Court's Legal Aid Center's panel Mediators without opting for even filing a case such mediation can be set up by just approaching them and narrating factual facts and such mediation are alternate dispute mediations to come at amicable solution pre-filing a Court case and are effective and least expensive way out. Even in near future if some matrimonial grounds based case your husband files in a family Court the first effort by the Court is towards reconciliation / mediation and patching up the Couples (failing which the case enters eventually contest between parties zone), hence that may also be on cards eventually if finding within two families a neutral person is found to be difficult currently in such physic frame.

2. If rehabilitation phase are over after stated leg injury then make an effort asap to stand on your own feet by finding a work (job if not working) for yourself as empty and ideating mind in once own natal home offers one too many negative ideas and also generates confusions. Company of co-workers r/w moving out of depressive environs seeking a independent income empowers an ideating mind, body and soul for the better of once own.

3. Dependent upon your age whose special knowledge only you have set a target for restitution of your marriage or for parting company on amicable note and re-start life with a fresh vision.

Today 'divorce word' is no more a dirty word in society.

1 Like

DARSHNA (advocate)     25 December 2012

1. on ground of desertion, he will not get divorce, b'coz the period for desertion must be not less than 2 years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition and he has to prove that  you deserted him, without any fault of him.

for your reference, the meaning of 'desertion' under Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 is given below


"desertion" means  the  desertion  of the petitioner by the  other  party  to  the marriage  without reasonable cause and without the consent or  against  the  wish  of  such  party, and includes the  wilful  neglect  of  the  petitioner  by  the other party to the marriage, and  its  grammatical variations and cognate expressions shall be construed accordingly.

2. in your second question, pls specify is there any decree passed for judicial separation?

3. thirdly, if he don't want to live with you, you can't forced him, but you can get the maintenance from him as legally wedded wife and you can also claim your medical expenses, as being a husband, it is his moral duty to take care of you and spend for your medical, and otherwise, you can mutually settle the matter, as you have say, you have bedridden, you can settle the matter by mutually filing the divorce petition, as forcible relation will have no future and you can agreed on terms that you should get monthly maintenance or a reasonable lumpsum amount as a permanent maintenance and end the matter, as  it will not cause any physical and mental harassment to you.

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AMbi (None)     31 December 2012

My family has tried to mediate with his family but his family has refused stating that they do not want to get involved and it is upto their son to decide. They do not even talk to me or my family and on going to their house, they say that this is none of their concern. During the time we were married and lived together, my in-laws always had a say about everything including what I cooked, how I spent every rupee I earned but now they say they have never interfered in our business and will now not intervene or get involved.

I do not know if they are not serious about the issue or is it that they genuinely do not care. You mentioned seeking professional help, what help can I seek to reach out to my husband and his family so that I can atleast know the reason why he has left me.



AMbi (None)     31 December 2012

Thankyou all for the help and my apologies for delayed response.

I am an employed girl with a decent job.

When we were together my husband, in-laws and their extended family always discussed my salary. They have always been very rude and vocal and have said I have been married only and only because I am working and I have no business not "sharing" all of it with them. They have on several ocassions treated me like an object of profit/loss and said they have to "derive profit" out of this marriage. My husband has on several ocassions asked me and my parents money and in some occassions he has returned the money borrowed.

I want to know is this kind of harassment considered dowry? My husband and my inlaws have only demanded money that i had saved before marriage and my salary. Only on 2 occassions, my husband has asked my father for money although he had promised to return the money in a few months (Unfortunately since my father did not have the money on those occassions, my husband did not get the money). He always tended to ask money first from me, then my father before even thinking of using his own salary.

Please clarify because I want to know if this is something that has to be sorted in case of a reconcilation also.




Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     31 December 2012

Hello Ambi,

Asking wife money to share household responsibilty do not come under cruelty or harrasment. ( There is a  Judgement in this regard, may be experts can throw more light). If his family is not willing for mediation it is almost sure they excercised from their side and ready for divorce.

Now you have only  one best option, that is MCD. Without any evidence, do not go for DV or any other section as that ruin your life, loosing money, time , energy. Some lawyers ( Liars) insist you do this, but be careful unless you are genuinely suffered and even if, you have clear evidences to back your claim.

All the best, 


1 Like

AMbi (None)     01 January 2013

Thankyou Sir.

I do not have too much evidence and have other family constraints because of which I cannot go into a lengthy fight either.

My parents had setup the entire house for us with all appliances - gas, microwave, cot, bed, wadrobe, full kitechen with cabinets, tables, chairs and I had myself left all my belongings including gold and silver at my house. But my husband is absconding with all my belongings and has given a fake address in the notice he has sent. I am just upset that within 2 months of marriage he left me for no reason but took every single belonging of mine. He doesnt want me  but wants her belongings and is now accusing me of cruelty on the grounds that I refused to give him money.

If its not harassment when a husband harasses wife for her salary, how is it valid that he accuses me of cruelty in the legal notice because I hesitated to give him money? Will this stand in court of law? The other reasons he has mentioned is that I did not cook for him, I spoke rudely to him. I have no proof to show this is false. He has even asked for me to cover his court expenditure.


Can you please let me know what is to be generally expected in such cases. He knows I am desperate to reconcile given my conservative family constraints and is using it to get as much money as possible from us.




Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     01 January 2013

Here is the taking;

If he files for divorce, the burden is on him to prove that you meted cruelty on him, so no worry for you. Second he cannot claim it is cruelty on him on  account of mere refusal of wife to provide salary to him.

If he is not in favour MCD and returning your belongings, go the lawyer way but use only one section and fight on that merit. Better route is desertion ground as he filed on false addresses, just send few Registered letters to that addrress about your willingness to resume married life and wait for few months. Keep acknowledegement or failure of address ( from postal service) and later file for divorec on teh ground of desertion.

All the best for peaceful next innings of life.


1 Like

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     01 January 2013

As per DV Act you have right to force your entry into matirmonial house.


Other choice.  You yourself stated that you are treated as profit object what else do you think that dowry demand is,  You have not stated if they have demanded accoutns and proceeds of pre0marital salary which is generally done these days and when you decline so you are thrown out.  So 498a section is not for misuse rather legislated for people like you.  But it is pity that there are so many false allegations and real victims like you (for whom the law is made) do nto come forward.

1 Like

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     02 January 2013

Sudhir, disagree.

498a is strictly for dowry harassment, not even asking stridhan or gifts after marriage life ( Please refer SC bench judgement in SFF sites) so how come asking wife salary to share hosuehold responsibilty come under this, even if she files it will be futile and he will be let go, and only vengence from him will be more,

" So 498a section is not for misuse rather legislated for people like you." - so disagree your statement

DV to an extent is what seems to be correct, but then DV needs heavy physical abuse and medical proof. So this section is also written off.


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