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Smita Verma   23 December 2015

Marital discord

 

 

Greeting Sir,

I am in very much need for your assistance as I am suffering a lot in my my pathetic 2 years of my wedlock.

  1. Got married on 14 feb, 2014 in Chandigarh (My MIL and FIL resides) and Hubby lives in Delhi.

  2. Thing not working since very first day of my marriage.

  3. Husband and his family complete mama’s boy, rich, arrogant, very rude and only son.

  4. Took me to London for Honeymoon where only 205 love and 80% ill treatment(Verbal cruelty, insult, say me non-sense ,illiterate, ill-mannered, immature, no dressing sense).

  5. He is Sr. manager earning 17 LPA and me in HR in Pvt company earning 20 k PM.

  6. Do not pay me anything, even take everything from me also.

  7. I fall sick due to his behavirol and mental torture in the month of may 2014 and dignosed with Brain TB(Due to stress, hypertension, malnutrition ) completely curable and Pregnancy.

  8. He and his mother visted so many doctors to get the baby aborted but they failed

  9. He took me to Fortis for treatment and his parents urged him to leave me home saying she need attention and care , he did the same saying she need care and she full attention. I took 1 month sick leave and mediclaim from my office.

  10. He visited me on Sunday till july 27, 2014 but speak only little with me spend 2 hrs with me and then go back, besides this no phone call, no monetary support , no help.

  11. All medicine, doctors visits are with my parents.

  12. When I joined back office in the month of June 2014 after recovery, I insisted him to take me back home for which he gave me several excuses so that he cannot take me home and I got intention that he will never take me home.i resigned from my job with tha hope to go back to him as he said leave job first but after I stopped working he stopped all means of communication with me and ignored me like anything,no watsapp, no call, no message response .

  13. When I messaged him 1000 times he messaged me in very rude manner that don’t disturb me as I don’t want to keep you with me I am fed up of you and much more and I cried a lot and informed parents, so my parents visited him to talk to hi, approached his parents to amicable settlement but no result came, my parents said all will be fine once baby born.

  14. In the month of December my baby born and my father informed him and his parents about grand son they came running very next day and even I felt happy that now things will be alright.

  15. But still my hubby and In laws didn’t talked to me well and only playing with baby, not concerned for me.

  16. Later on feb 13, 2015 my MIL called to inform me that My hubby will come to take me back home so get ready and he will bring me to Chandigarh where his parents live.

  17. I happily accepted and packed my bags and my parents were also happy that they are changed and all will be fine now as baby boy born.

  18. I spend 3 month again without my hubby in an isolated room with no money, no help in taking care of baby and no support from my hubby. He visited 3 times there in Chandigarh but never talk to me, only formal talks happen between me and him and little of s*x.

  19. Then again his parents made a prelude to kick me and baby out of there house as am just like burden on them and wanted to get rid of me so they called there son on 29 making wrong allegations against me that I ued to fight and go out late night for walking which were absolutely wrong and called my parents and said to take me back.

  20. My parents came, had a long discussion and all thing settled and my father took me on there words for 15 days and after that my hubby will come to take me back.

  21. But that was my last time at that house after that they never called , message me, never picked my call.

  22. So on day after 20 day uninformed me , with my parents and son went to my hubby house to live there but he made excuses that he is looking for some other house and will take her after some time once shift to other home in 15 days, but that day never came.

  23. I messaged him so many time to take me ad 15 day also passed, when no communication so we approached his maternal uncle, his close friend but all our efforts failed , Then again I with my parents went at his home and this time he didn’t allowed to enter his home and when forcefully we manage to get inside he escaped and this was first time I called police and police tried to call him but he didn’t responded.

  24. Then with police and neighbour knowledge we get to know that he is in very deep affair with a very affluent lady(40 + years of age) with 3 children and hubby live mostly outside , used to visit him almost every day and night and love each other from 2008, that’s why he don’t wish to keep me and baby and also he cleary mentioned that he will never ever bring me back. All his parents, mamaji anf friend know about it and it was just a so called marriage to bring a maid in the form of DIL to live at parents house in chandigarh and let son enjoy his life life before, they never loved my son and me and only tortured both of us.

  25. My hubby is ever partner with that lady in her running business. And my hubby is greedy and lusty.

  26. We Complaint in CAW cell Srinivas puri, mediation failed, when time came to file FIR now IO is saying not file any FIR and seems like IO is being compelled to say like this as earlier he was in our favour and even he know that he is wrong everywhere and having deep relation.

  27. So kindly advise me what to do , what action can I take to give him a lesson.

  28. I don’t want to give him divorce, I want to maintain me and son alone with no money and other things , only old aged parents and 20 k salary even that too am in danger zone and have to leave job as baby need me full time.

  29. Kindly suggest what course of action can be taken to get money, shared accommodation or separate house to take care of me and baby.

 

Regards

Smita Verma

 



Learning

 20 Replies

Saurabh..V (Law Consultant)     23 December 2015

@Author

 

It is unfortunate that you are not doing well and have to struggle in life. I understand your pain and agony.

 

Having said this, I want to ask you, if you are ready to live with such a man who has not been loyal to you? You want to live with a person who has never loved you from day one?

 

If your objective is to live with him, then in my view, it is not worth it. Times are changing and we should change with it too. Gone are the days when after divorce, life used to get washed away for the girl. You are educated and grown up girl. You have taken due care of yourself and your baby as well. In my considered view, you should try to find an amicable solution thant to resort to criminal case.

 

However, if you want to take up the matter as per the Indian Legal system, then you have all the rights to be heard in the court of law. Please consult a local lawyer (if you are from Delhi, maybe I can help you), and try to file a case in concerned police station with your written complaint. If they don't file a case, then your lawyer can approach concerned Metropolitan Magistrate with a private complaint and then after finding merits in your case, the Magistrate can order the concerned SHO to register FIR and start investigation.

 

Legal justice is a riht enshrined in our Constitution. Every govt officer in bound by the law and are under legal obligation to help the victim who comes forward for help.

 

The question remains, do you really want to go back to him and probably suffer more or want to lead a better life from here. It sounds biased when I say that you should avoid legal tussle, but it is for your own good. Marriage is a sacrament and must be seen like that. Incompatibility or other compelling reasons leading to a situation like your should not be treated as a criminal case but a mere case of misfortune.

 

All the best!

 

//peace

/Saurabh..V

Smita Verma   23 December 2015

Thanks @Saurabh sir for quick response.

 

Just wanted to teach him a lesson and wanted to get monetary assistance from him , I am having no intention to live with that person at all but need to get my rights and rights of my son, can you please explain me what can i do to get seperate accomodation for me and son with protection and maintenence under one law as am having money constraint and don't want my baby to suffer. Yes am from Delhi only. Kindly reply me which case will be best suited for my need .

Regards
Smita Verma

A walk alone (-)     23 December 2015

If you dnt want to remarry then consult lawyer and file DV ;crpc 125 . By DV and crpc125 you can get maintenance. Hide your job show jobless. If you want to go back there again then file rcr. Try to collect evidence of your husband. Save all your previous and new messages and calls recordings.

Saurabh..V (Law Consultant)     24 December 2015

@Author As explained by @niki you have multiple options to seek Maintenance and also file a case for Domestic Violence. For Maintenance: You can either file under S.125 CrPC or S.24/25 HMA (Hindu Marriage Act). S.25 of HMA provides option for permanent alimony but S.24 helps expenses during pendency of your case. For Violence: You have DV Act. However for these sections you need not approach Police. You can directly file application in court under these sections. If you use S.498A IPC then in my view you would generalize your case and it may actually weaken your case. Rest you can discuss with your lawyer and finalize course of action. If you are from Delhi, then PM me your number and I will see how can I help you. All the best! //peace /Saurabh..V

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     24 December 2015

Its a marital dispute. You have a baby. You do not want divorce. You want maintenance and only maintenance. Right?  Keep it simple. Do NOT file DV. Just file appropriate proceedings in the Family Court and seek maintenance under Hindu Marriage Act and there you can also file under 125 Cr.P.C. if you want to.    DV for a married woman is NOT going to get you anything that a Family Court cannot give you. If you go to Family Court, later you can use the judgment and factual findings in other proceedings, say for example, if you choose to file divorce later.  Factual findings of criminal courts do not have the same force in civil courts.  You have a simple case and you should get maintenance easily. Why complicate things unnecessarily? Once you get maintenance passed, your immediate problem will be solved. Then, think of divorce if you want to, later. Always present facts to the Courts. Do not exaggerate your allegations. Do not make false allegations. Do not file false cases. They will all come back to haunt you. Be careful of advocates... they look at women like you and they know they have a good BAKRA. They will make you file all kinds of cases...


 

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     25 December 2015

I think legal expert Saurabh has given the right suggestion,nothing moreto add at this stage.


(Guest)
In fact your FIL/MIL have cheated you as I am sure they knew about affair and tried to mend him through marriage.This is ghar ghar ki kahani where women is treated as commodity. he has simply used you for s*x object. This is typical case of modern urban from lower or middle class families getting too rich too quick without deserving. It is pathetic case and you are not only one If you are in Delhi you can meet us as we are running a Voluntary organisation working for women and child empowerment by name Janshakti. Your case needs meticulous planning and strategy to ensure he does not get away easily by using money power. To begin with have child to your self and dont allow him or his MIL/FIl to see the child at all. Dont believe on these rascals any more DV act is a comprehensive act that gives you relief in almost all issues related to women including residence right in husband home. Or else he has to provide alternate accommodation to you and your child. he also has to look after your child. You can get legal aid fee through legal aid service office attached to every district court/family court mostly presided by lady magistrates. Forget about mending this marriage. It is as good as gone and you should be alert and use your mind now and not emotions.

Smita Verma   25 December 2015

Thanks @ niki mam, sainath sir, samir sir and Rajendra sir. @Rajendra sir you are absolutely correct it was a clearly drawn plan and prodigy which all of them know and used against me , also that concubine is well aware of everything. His sister was main to arrange wedding and everyone was part of it, all need to be punished so that they do not cheat others like me. Just wanted to know whether going for fir is gud option or just to file dv case without filing fir will be fine. Regards smita verma

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     26 December 2015

You seem to be sufficiently educated to read on the basics of any law and come to your own conclusion. Therefore, I strongly recommend that you take a look at the DV Act and sample some judgments and you will realize that there is absolutely nothing to gain in filing a DV for a married woman because all relief you want to get can be secured in a civil court and there are other advantages too of filing in a civil court, as mentioned by me above. The same with the filing of FIR. What are you going to gain in filing one?  It will require a LOT of running around for you and him... remember the inconvenience is both ways. WHATEVER DECISION YOU TAKE, DO NOT BE CARRIED AWAY BY ADVOCATES WHO INDULGE IN CONCURRING WITH YOUR ANGER. YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE NOW AND ANY ADVOCATE WHO COMES YOUR WAY AND SAYS... "LETS TEACH HIM A LESSON..." IS GOING TO IMPRESS YOU. YOU NEED TO RISE ABOVE YOUR ANGER AND ANALYZE TO COME TO CERTAIN OBJECTIVES. THEN, STRATEGIZE TO ATTAIN THEM.


(Guest)

When u file FIR you must enure that  you have evidence to prove faud and supression of fact. You have to file for annulment of marriage if you wish within 1 year of coming to know about fraud and that you have to prove.

 

DV act is handy for you as it gives you comprehensive remedy like child custody, maintenance for you and child ( You will get as per your life style and status of your overfattened husband who seems to have lost his mind nwith high salary and perks) , proteciton order and right to resdience. residence can be p[rovided to you eithern your husbands home or a home whereyour husband is having acnetral property rights.Otherwise he has to provide for alternate accomodaiton as per your living standard and lifestyle. In one case supreme court even ordered to provide proeprly furnished accomdoaiton suiting the status of wife.

Form your study it is evident your husband apparently did not commit with you physical vilence and they have not asked for any dowry or gifts after marriage?
Where is your stridhan? 

YOu cna get good maintenanceallownace base don your hsbands menas and your life style.

DV actis basically a speial act to encompass all remedies to a womn. It proceeds in civl procedure but once orders aregiven these become crminal decree. 

You also have options to file cases  for divorce mainetnance and custody etc in family court (mahila court if available) Your right of maintenance includes right of resdience as per supreme court order. In anotherjudgement supreme court has held that right of resdience is above right of maintenance.

All the best


(Guest)

And you can also apply u/s 23 for interim releif pednign final judgements. Youc na seek right of residence and maintenence allowance.The proceedings u/s 18,19 and 20 are in crminal mode.

Smita Verma   26 December 2015

@ Rajendra sir and sameer sir each and everything my all jewellery, my all marriage clothes all in there custody, i even didn't get chance to have a look at that.Yes they have not demanded anything from us also no physical torture done but he and his family deserted me without any reason only verbal and mental cruelty done.

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     26 December 2015

Mr SameerN(2helpU), UR below mentioned paragraph is highly objectiionable whehn U are replying in a legal forum.

"WHATEVER DECISION YOU TAKE, DO NOT BE CARRIED AWAY BY ADVOCATES WHO INDULGE IN CONCURRING WITH YOUR ANGER. YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE NOW AND ANY ADVOCATE WHO COMES YOUR WAY AND SAYS... "LETS TEACH HIM A LESSON..." IS GOING TO IMPRESS YOU. YOU NEED TO RISE ABOVE YOUR ANGER AND ANALYZE TO COME TO CERTAIN OBJECTIVES. THEN, STRATEGIZE TO ATTAIN THEM."

U have to add value to UR reply so that the querist who is a victim has to get the correct solution.UR words can be reported abuse and U have no rightto criticise the advocates in general.

 

 

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     26 December 2015

My language does not generalize all advocates.  I am referring to  " advocates who indulge in concurring..." which clearly makes it a subset of all advocates. If not, this should clear any ambiguity. I am a proponent of simplicity in legal matters. There is nothing abusive in encouraging it. I strongly believe that married women can get everything they want in a civil court and not multiply proceedings. Terms like sridhan, right to residence, etc. may be defined in the DV Act, but through proper applications, all of this can be recovered in a Family Court too. DV is a good tool only for a woman in a domestic relationship outside marriage - like a live-in relationship. That is not the case here. The only person who stands to gain in multiplying legal proceedings is the advocate and time and again, I have seen during my own matrimonial legal proceedings, that women get carried away by opinions given by advocates who just magnify the woman's approach. Women are emotionally vulnerable during matrimonial disputes and some greedy advocates know this too well. They know that if they voice an opinion that may not be what the woman wants, they may lose her as their client. So... when a woman is upset, it is easy to get her to file a DV case and the end result is suffering for both husband and wife and hefty fees for advocates. Nothing else. More than 90% of DV cases end up with the woman getting nothing. More than 70% of civil cases filed by a woman in a Family Court end up with her getting at least something...  These statistics were made public by a law student in Delhi or Mumbai, I forgot. I would like this Smita to get something out of her legal initiatives with the least amount of spending, both in terms of time and money. My advice is truly to guide her. Nothing more.


THE PURPOSE OF THIS LONG RESPONSE IS TO HELP WOMEN IN UNDERSTANDING THEIR RIGHTS AND THE CHOICES THEY HAVE. IT IS NOT TO BASH ADVOCATES. AND I REALLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT ANYONE REPORTING THIS AS ABUSE BECAUSE IT IS CLEARLY NOT.


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