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Is marriage only about sex?

dear lawyers

my wife filed case aginst my friend as he is went on for 2 yrs. he faced lot of humiliation for it,becoz of which he is now mental wreck

i know the courts can dissolve marriages on this ground.

but one thing i dont understand....

impotence is friend took treatment for it after divorce and got healed in 2 months....but his wife spent 2 yrs in court,spending lakhs of on her lawyers..


if she was sensible she wud have taken him to a good s*xologist and got him cured in few months....but she chose the other path and dragged the case for 2 yrs,during which he suffered for no fault,because  he got impotent only after marriage.

i dont understand the faulty indian judiciary...on one hand they give s*xologists licence to help couples heal to enjoy s*x,at the same time when any person suffers s*x problems,they give liberty to his partner to divorce him after humiliating him in court.......WHY?

Why cant we have laws that if  a person develops impotence after marriage his partner can divorce him only if HE DOESNT WANT TO TAKE TREATMENT...OTHERWISE HE SHUD NOT GET THE RIGHT TO INSULT HIM LIKE THIS IN COURTS.
i know s*x is the basic need...but s*xual urges are not so intense that one wud choose to run in courts,to lawyers etc and spend lakhs of Rs. to prove this impotence whcih cud have got healed in matter of few months in a few thousand rupees....y cant we make rules so that people learn to respect marriage and not treat their partners as some mere commodity

i m saying this because my friend,though healed of impotence is now a wreck because of so much humiliation and afraid to remarry lest the 2nd wife shud trouble him if he gets impotent or incapable again...............IS MARRIAGE ONLY ABOUT SEX OR IS IT ALSO MUTUAL TRUST,RESPECT &  COMPASSION?

If no,then we,the so called "civilized" humans who claim are more intelligent than cats and dogs ,are no more than animals....


 23 Replies


I have a question for you PKK (mind it, this is not for your friend for which I will give a very good rejoinder later)

Now the Que. which I ask to you:  For  a moment think that you have ED (Erectile Dysfunction) / are impotent in short and impotency is something which any adult man concious of his private parts at adolscent age comes to know of means knows about it at a very early age and one need not be rocket scientist to know that he is impotent / discover only after marriage and if you for a second retorspectively roll back and say I knew it THEN and afterwards knowing about it have plans to get married, then, will you not get it cured or attended to by medical treatment  before marriage ? ? ?

Give a clear concious answer and then wait for my comment on your friends story.

PS.: I'm not ashamed to discuss ED openly knowingly well ld. ladies in this forum who probably may read such posts but it is purely meant as legal academic discussion. 
My message may be moderated if it breaches sense and sensibilities of readers.

adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate)     04 July 2010

Right reply by D.ARunkumar.

anjani kumar (Advocate-on-record in Patna High Court)     04 July 2010

Dr.Arun Kumar is right in the sense that both the member male and female should take equal attention of impotency before the marriage and after the marriage too.

Dr.Anjani Kumar

Kiran Kumar (Lawyer)     04 July 2010


my wife filed case aginst my friend as he is went on for 2 yrs. he faced lot of humiliation for it,becoz of which he is now mental wreck

above is ur statement....

tell me why your wife filed a case against your friend? and how the court proceeded at the your wife's complaint?

how you could say that your friend became impotent after marriage only? whether he used to check or verify his potency in pre-marital period?

1 Like

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     04 July 2010

Sex is a part of life after marriage. But after marriage it is a sophisticated thing for wife to get from husband and all he mutual respect, companianship and trust are based on Sex and their privacy.

But in your friend's case, she should have waited for treatment as ED is a problem, which can be cured within a short span of time

1 Like

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     04 July 2010

As pointed out by Kiran, I am also puzzled by the first statement: What do you mean by that?

Arvind Singh Chauhan (advocate)     04 July 2010

learned members we should not hurt his feelings.

Dear PPk truely It can be said that s*x is integral part of life.

It don't require  marriage, as s*x may between adult couples with their consent.

Impotency is a ground for divorce but law is not compelling couples to file divorece. It is your wife's liberty to live with you or not. If she is not willing to live with you. Let her do, though If you have been treated you may file objection proving your potency, but what is the use.

If you are fit now, It would be better to let her live apart.  You can marry again.

Abnormality or disfunction of organs should not be made an issue.

1 Like


Dear all,

thanks for all your replies...

dear mr. arun,


i think u need to reread my post.i have clearly mentioned that impotence was developed after marriage only.


dear mr. kiran kumar,


my friend's wife filed a case against him;not my was a typing error.

regarding impotence after marriage,i dont know why you are making an issue of it..

cant a man/woman become impotent after marriage?is it a crime,esp. when so many treatments are available nowadays.?

otherwise what is the use of s*xologists,marriage counsellors?

if this is the way partners treat each other,then i think govt. shud ban the practices of all s*xologists becoz all couples will not come to them to solve their problems but only to courts to feed the lawyers and the only solution to s*xual problems will be divorce......

such that all men/women dread falling ill after marriage!

niranjan (civil practice)     04 July 2010

As I could gather from querry,it is not about impotency,but the mode in which this was used to humiliate husband under the guise of law. Though it is unfortunate however the allegation of impotency could have been an instrument to prove that he is potent.I would say that human is worst in s*x in comparision to animal.

1 Like


My rejoinders take on your partial reply:

I already read your post before replying though I omitted your typo but I do stand by my reply post bze ED is not something which is discovered by a man here in given brief by your friend on his FIRST NIGHT !  It is the cause of action brought as FACTS / GROUNDS by a wife as her discovery before Law and Law is perfect in such interpretations and other professions as alleged here are there to suggest a cure before marriage if early detected and afterwards also but why blame them now for ones ED. She did the right thing as she also has her "needs" before emotions and sentiments. Sex in marriage culminates into ganasagar of branded family by two spouse.

It is a case of ignorance and fault theory of a man's ego which he will never admit in public and which got hurt with wife's discovery of ED of his husband on first night which subsequently was made public for next 2 years spending 2 lakhs on the go nothing else. Tell him to get over with his ego under guise of emotions and sentiments, now that it is cured and lead a normal second marital life innings .Infact he should be happy that his ED is cured in 2 months flat. 

A metros*xual man is one who overcomes his ego and there is no place in marriage for only sentiments and emotions always, as s*x is basic integral part of both husband and wife to culminate into success behind a happy and healthy married family life. You break one thread and pops such emotional and sentiments questions in loop format whose answers lie within oneself an dnot outside. A good husband is one who accepts the realities of family life and carries forward and/or look forward to second innings bravely.

Illustration: I know of one such happy go lucky so called married couple personally and husband before marriage was a heavy drunkard and his sperm count went down over period of time due to drinking habbits,  which he knew at the time of getting treatment before marriage. He hid this fact and married a lady. After subsequent discovery by his wife of not able to conceive it lead to acrimonious litigation between them and I was involved at one point of time with them for their reconciliation. I asked only one que. to his wife which is similar to your 'sentiments and emotions" theory related and she replied to me saying "I would have continued in this marriage if he could have atleast given me a child to look forward to lead my married life with him !"  I offered her IVF option but idea heavily failed, that is called Indian marriage ethos now you understand my blunt answer to your first post which you will not be convinced as "a man's ego" hurts hearing it :-)

Now tell me what answer I could have given to her in order not to break such public perfect couples image?

If you want you may give full reply to my reply to your first question post now otherwise support this friend to get over the past trauma by fixing him with a homely family oriented lady which is all doable................



dear Mr, arun kumar


thanks for all your lecture the way,i did not mention anywhere that my friend discovered impotence on his first night....u cooked up this fact to show me down.....that's who has an ego problem here?


i clearly said he developed impotence "after marriage";it doesnt mean he developed it on first night!

just for your information he developed it 4 months after marriage.but before that they were having s*x....i hope u r satisfied with my reply now...


regarding your long lectures on ego,i dont want to argue with a heartless man like you who doesnt understand what marriage is all about...if the wife could not have children,one can always adopt a child.....


perhaps u living in this kalyug u will not understand that marriage is also about caring,sharing,growing old together and accepting each others with their faults and strengths.... i m not even saying that his wife shud cope up with his impotence...i simply asked y she dint cooperate with him in meeting a s*xologist and in ur reply u gave a long lecture on a man's false ego which i did not ask for


a suffering person as my friend is labbelled as an egoist. by u.....u mean no person can fall ill after marriage....the problem with people like u is that they are so obsessed with s*x that they fail to realise that man's body is not made of some iron and steel that it will never rust.....u dont treat s*xulal problem as any curable health problem but as something shameful...that shud be exposed to the world thru courts.....

if this is what your defination of marriage is,then i think govt. shud ban marriages in india....people shud only have live in relations so that they can ditch their partners as and wen they please with no committment and sense of reponsibility towards them and thie feelings.........and i m sure u will support the latter decision only...


god bless u!


marrriage is just not about s*x!!.....its about a bond between two person. i agree with PKK ...the amount this female is spending on litigation could have been spent on medication...!!

i from my personal experiance ..will share that for a woman marriage is just s*x, feed on husbands money, take his protection, blackmail him emotionally he says yes 'you the most beautiful woman ive ever seen' its OK othewise .....divorce!, DV, 498A!!!!



1 Like


dear mr. D. arun kumar

i wonder why u r not replying....even though u have replied to many threads posted after my post...









Understand legal meaning of "rejoinder" first which is mentioned in opening sentence of my last post.

Provocation in open forum and for the sake of Arabian Nites debate does not help chage relaity is my belief herein to this post, however you have a right to differ to my views becuase we two are different individuals (period).

"A person knows which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn in life's journey."


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