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Indian Parents Spoil Their Own Daughter's Life

Page no : 2

aatma   14 November 2011

Originally posted by :aniket
is their any solution to stop this because of my inlaws i dont want to loose my wife because i still love


Until her parents have her file 498A case there is no solution....This is how indian law makers made the law.

aatma   14 November 2011

Originally posted by :Amit---------------
and now i m going to loose my wife - just after 5 months after marriage :(

 Visit:  www.498a.org

Addaiya Aejaz Ahmed (student)     14 November 2011

Same in my case my mother in law tells my husband that my parents are making an attempt to seperate us. I still dont understand why her intrusions are rquired for small disputes arise between us

anish patil (owner)     14 November 2011

same thing happend with me also there is no big issue only small verbal fight and it landed directly on divorce

Addaiya Aejaz Ahmed (student)     14 November 2011

Its not with the wife's parents but also husband's parents they should not interfere with any dispute which is between husband and wife unless they are asked to. Sometimes parental concern saves marriage on the other hand u can read .

anish patil (owner)     15 November 2011

no sister iam not sayingthat allways it happens from wifes parents side but there are more incidents there wher it can show wife can easily influence by her parents not the husband............i have big experience of it....

Addaiya Aejaz Ahmed (student)     15 November 2011

Yes very correct wife gets easily influece by her parents because her mental at tht time is such that she is already disturbed because of dispute between her and her husband so at that any advice given by her parents will influence her but I still say when any sort of dispute occurs between husband and wife no parents should participate or advice or do anyting unless they asked let both husband and wife negotiate on their own dispute it is very true parental intrusions are destroying daughters marital life.

s..i..n..g..h.. (member)     17 November 2011

i have also lost my wife to the greed and ego of my father in law

needhelp (respondent)     17 November 2011

Same here. they wanted to manage our money. They injected a lot into her mind. They went to an extent where they ask 'Did your husband give a glass of water to you?". They agreed that I do every thing but credit won't come to me. They spoiled their daughter's life and grand childrens miserbely. She never realised it. Kids are the victims, no action from them and innocent, but they are the ones that are at loss bigtime.

Addaiya Aejaz Ahmed (student)     18 November 2011

Finally  we (my hubby and me ) have come to conclusion to move aprt and stay alone and only give time to ourselves our parents are aloud to visit us in weekends lets see how things work as if there was no interference from my parents end  to break our marriage lets see but my mother in law keeps on fuelling his mind though she thinks that wife should always be below husband.

Aishwarya (Teacher)     18 November 2011

thts good , am glad ur giving it another chance..hope things change for better..good luck addaiya

Addaiya Aejaz Ahmed (student)     20 November 2011

Thanksa lot @ Aishwarya... Our marriage was at our parents choice we made our own choice and got married so the real essence behind movind apart was the same the same that our parents were not involved in our marriage then why in other things so just me and him and our respective careers to focus. So lets always hope for the best. And I really wish many other couple like us get the better solution and give their marriage a best second chance.

1 Like

Aishwarya (Teacher)     21 November 2011

sure i wish u all well dear addaiya...and thnx for giving such a positive response and wish for everyone..


Addaiya Aejaz Ahmed (student)     21 November 2011

Marriage by whatever means starts with huge celeberation and remains a huge for some throughout the life and to some people it gives a bad ending and bitter taste so I really feel our parents should understand both of them well .

Roop (NA)     26 March 2012

You all are talking about Indian parents of daughters who interfere in daughter's married life, but what do you have to say about son's parents highly interfering in son's married life. Not only interfering, but they want to dictate the son as to how he should treat his wife, they want the daughter-in-law to act as their doormat, their personal servant. They have one rule for their own daughters but other rule for daughter-in-law. At one place Indian government give fundamental rights to all citizens, but the way majority of Indian daughter-in-laws are treated in their marital home, seems like Indian daughter-in-law has no right to have fundamental right of being a citizen of India. What kind of rules and regulations Indian parents-in-laws impose on daughter-in-laws, that she should not wear jeans, should not leave house and if want to leave should leave with permission, should ask for permission to call her parents or visit them, should not do job, etc. etc. When a daughter-in-law experss her concern or give her opinions, it is considered disrespectful in our culture, woah, what a culture? Who the parents-in-laws are to impose their rules and regulations on daughter-in-law in the pretext of culture & family values, ain't daughter-in-law has her own wishes, her own identity. Unfortunately Indians have little understanding & skewed view about marriage vows and traditional culture. They just want to impose their beliefs on others and justify their acts by using hi-fi words & bragging about so-called great indian culture. 

You say women's parents interfere, but what make them interfere. Well it is because of our social structure, about incidents of dowries & domestic violence happening around. If u hear that lots of child kidnapping happen in city and daily read in newspapers about it, then ain't you will be worried about your child, maybe you become extra careful & extra possessive about your child & won't leave him alone. Right? Same way, Indian parents are often worried about their daughters and want to ensure that she is happy at her marital home, also due to tradition, they are forced to give up their daughter, so that pain of seperating daughter from them will always remain within them, & when they hear cases of mother-in-law tantrums, dowry deaths & DV happening around, so they keep worrying about their daughters & this may lead them interfere, in such cases it is the duty of son-in-law to ensure them that he will never let them down and never let his own parents & siblings bother his wife & take good care of her. If son-in-law do this keeping his ego aside then his wife's parents may feel relaxed & won't interfere. 

In India, this tradition that a girl should leave her own family and join husband's family & she is obligated to obey her in-laws and take care of them (here taking care indirectly means acting as their servant) itself is an evil traditions. Why the daughter-in-law has to do the chores of in-laws even when they are perfectly healthy. And leave aside living with in-laws and doing their chores, that can be tolerable, but who give them right to dictact her life, what she should wear what not, and various other things. And what about dowry demands & direct & indirect abuse, day in and day out. 

P.S. - It is the duty of daughter-in-law to be always respectful to her in-laws, but one should know the meaning of respect, the term "respect" shouldn't mixed with interference & dominance, if daughter-in-law stand up to any injustice or abuse, then that cannot be termed as disrespect to elders. If the in-laws are old and sick, it is the duty of daughter-in-law to take care of them, but why they expect her to do their personal work even when they are completely healthy, not only this, but they expect her to do personal chores of their other children, viz. sister-in-law & brother-in-laws, dictact her life, interfere in her parenting, brainwash son and grandkids against her, etc. Not only they expect her to do their personal chores but also expect her to do it as per their wish and their timings. If he mother-in-laws wants to ensure no emotional intimacy develops between son and his wife, why they marry their son at first place?

Now say how would a Indian women must be suffering all this. They suffer all this to maintain her parent's image in society, & due to fear of society, the fear that if she will stand up to such injustice she will be branded as culprit or vampire who want to break the family.

Majority of Indian divorce happen because of husband's parents interfering in marriage and harassing the daughter-in-laws. Majority of married Indian women commit suicide due to in-law harrassment. Some women misuse the DV act & dowry law which is bad but can you tell if any of this women are not living in joint family. If the husband understand wife's feeling and fullfill her wish to have a home of her own and move out of his healthy parent's house so that they get breathing space, required freedom & privacy the things do not become this ugly.

Few times back I read somewhere that according to Malasian govt. survey, mother-in-law (husband's mother) is the major cause of divorce amongst Indian community in Malasia





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