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raghuraman (Mangager)     12 July 2011

I want teach lesson to my Inlaw

Hi All

I am an NRI . My wife & My Son 3 years currently  not living with me . My Inlaws constantly distrubing my family life . Daily chatting and guiding her in seperating  . Inlaw always take a step of seperating us very frequently from me . But we both love each other always willing together . Its my Inlaws are creating some unnecessary problems . When she goes away from me to india: She is out of my reach , No telephone , No Email  , No contact & she complete listen whatever they say .


What i should do in this case ?

In what way can i teach lesson to  my Inlaw ?

Can  i step into india and fight with my inlaw & i got more rights on my wife than them?

Can i file any case against them ?

Can i take my child without their knowledge ? since i am his father

I want teach lesson to my wife that life is not a Joke , what should i do ? send a legal notice for divorce ?






 38 Replies

**Victim** (job)     12 July 2011

Dude calm down it's not easy to experiment especially when u have a kid. Just think of your son he is innocent and don't forget law is always on womens side no matter what you do. It looks like u jst need extra attention from your wife since you are neglected by her. If you love your wife then why are you thinking of divorce ? It seems your blood is warming up right now and i don't blame you for that.

I would provide you some details on life after divorce

1. You will spend sleepless nights thinking of your son and your wife.

2. You won't get child custody because if your son is under age then he is suppose to stay with mom only. (As per law)

3. If you are thinking of divorce then start thinking of maintanance as well (Crpc 125). Your wife can file Crpc 125 against you seeking maintenance for herself and son.

4. Teaching a lesson is not easy u might get stuck with fake DV or 498(a) cases.

Do you really think you wanna go through all this ? If you are NRI then in case if you don't attend any court proceedings then you might be declared proclaimed offender or LOC might be issued against you.

It's not easy to fight against a women especilly in indian jurisdiction.

If your son is born in foreign country then there are good chances that you might get child custody according to foreign law.

If your inlaws are playing such games with you then it looks like they are interested in your wealth only. Just be careful if you have any property under your name or any joint account with your wife ?


1 Like

Nu.Delhi.Law.Fora. (Advocate-on-Record Supreme Court of India)     12 July 2011

Dear Querist,


One has to fight the matrimonial issues with greater calm, passion with open minds, amongst other things. Whosoever he/she be, one has to be very much calculative and sympathetic to wine over others in such matrimonial turbulance.


Please provide facts so as to enable to form opinion as to what exact action plan needs to be formed, starting from sending legal notice, etc.


Please tell more abt ur marriage.

Whether ur married under Foreign marriage act??????


can put harassment case against them as after marriage they cannot interfere in your family, although your family may reside with them and eat their food as well...

adv.d.s.jodhi (lawyer)     13 July 2011

u can fiel petition under section 9 of the hindu marriage act for restitution of conjugalrights if marriage is performed according to hindu law if it is psecial mariage act then also u can fiel petition for restitution of conjugal right and also further more procedign if u fail and she lodge complaint against you it will be more trouble for u if the offecn is registered under section 498  etc. 

Rahul T (Engineer)     13 July 2011




      This very common problem, currently most of the parent’s wants their son-in-law should be in their daughter’s feet. If you are, then no problem, elase!!!

So don’t worry, you need to teach a good lesson to them, so that they will be in your feet.

1st make tem understand, that you don’t have any more interest in their daughter, & you are trying to escape. For that you have to become bit heard, Don’t bother to call your wife, when she is in India. It may take 4-8 months, then she only will call you, then give some excurse, and ask her to be in India, Don’t call her back. If she wants to come back to you, try to give some bull-sh*t excuse and over look her, give her a feeling, that you lost interest on her. Try this, automatically your in-laws will in your feet….


Note: This is my personal feelings…LAW is totally opposite side of the human feelings….experienced friend can suggest better…

raghuraman (Mangager)     14 July 2011

Thanks for the all the comments .


Thanks for the valubale info . Thats exactly i am doing now . Just igonored them for past 2 months . let see how it works. Thanks dude .



Rahul T (Engineer)     14 July 2011


      My condition is exactly same as you, I am ignoring my wife & in-laws since last 5 months, Currently my wife started sending SMS to my mom Stating that …


1>    All her nights are sleep less… & days are full of tears…

2>    If your son marries some one else, then he will be a dead man…. Etc…

**Victim** (job)     15 July 2011

@ Rahul all of us like when our miserable wife start realizing the actual fact.....they really think that they can screw up our life by doing all these things.....i feel sorry for raghuram that even after having one son he still doesn't get that respect and attention from his wife and if she don't know how to respect him then he has start implementing the ideas which you gave in previous post.

Rahul T (Engineer)     15 July 2011


Good Husband for a wife means, “BANDAR ke HATH me MOTIO Ki MALA”, till you whip, monkey, it will not realize its own value… So what to do???.... We have to cruel some times for the sake of survival. “Tiger can not survive, if he makes friendship with dear???” This is hard fact of LIFE….

raghuraman (Mangager)     16 July 2011


I think we are in right track . I   closed  my  contact with her No telephone No email completley  . I think now they slightly shivered now what to do . Their view is that i will fall under their foot . Now since they notice i am just ignoring . They send some  letter to my address but not delivered since i was not there . What so ever it may in the leteer or legal notice but i have decided not to respond . Just make them to hang up for long time . Let her repend and inlaws know the pain . I am not a joker for  them to test my emotions always .

Some suggeted to send a legal notice to her stating breaking my congjugal right . Did you performed that ?

I am thinking not to anything . Just feel them that i am going in different direction no more interested in her family . As you said after few months she repend and join me .




Rahul T (Engineer)     16 July 2011


    Matrimonial Disputes are nothing but the game of patience. More patience you have, you will have more chance to win. Normally people get frustrated in the initial stage, and started filling Different legal cases, which intern provides/open up escape path for the opposite party.

  In my case, I (or my parents) have not done any thing, just keeping quite. At the first phase they (my in-law’s family) started spreading rumor, that, I have afire with other girl, I have short temper, my mental status is not proper etc…. Therefore they are planning to go to women commission, family court etc… But practically nothing was happening….

 Now they are in trouble. Whom they were spreading rumor they are only questioning them back? Those people are only telling that, problem could be with the girl, not with the boy, that’s why they are (my in-law’s) are not going to court. My wife is almost at her home, never comes out, due to people’s teasing….. & sometimes sending emotional, threatening SMS to my mother…So that we take her back….

 Brother, out society is like this… People have enough time to spread rumor or blame about other daughter, especially in such case… neighboring ladies/ their (my in-law’s) relatives find pleaser doing that… which makes their (my in-law’s) life hell….

 But, this never happen immediately… after a period of time… say 6-8 month’s to 1 year….

 NOTE: if there is no response after 2 years, then it is sure that they have no interest on you. In such case separation is better choice… And in Indian court different option is available to handle such situation. Like DESERTION, CRUELTY etc…. you can not stay with a lady, who doesn’t have interest on you. In case of DESERTION, CRUELTY there is no chance of Maintenance etc….

 So I feel keeping quite & open mind is the best solution for matrimonial Dispute….



2 Like

VictimOfBiasLaw (Professional)     16 July 2011


@Rahul T

you are 100% correct , it is a game of patience , i am also passing the same situation ,

now my in-laws , wife are really in trouble, after 2 yrs of DV case , they are nothing to get and now they are frustrated.

Initially when my inlaws and wife filed fake DV case , we got frustrated and even ready to settle the case with money as my parents are 70+ and  we are not interested in this relationship.

but my inlaws and wife thought we get afraid and denied at that time , thanks to my lawyer who advice not to surrender and be patience.

now after 1.5 years situation is in our favour and may be they will not get anything and they willl beg for sattlemt...

If you are innocent then better fight with patience , don't think about sociaty and relatives.

initially all were against you but once u fight with determination and win the situation , those people agaist you would favour and praise you :)

Best of luck

1 Like

Rahul T (Engineer)     16 July 2011

Friends, One more thing I want to mention, don’t get over excited & take any legal step or file any case first. Let other parties do the same. Other wise, opposite party will get some excuse. Steps are very simple,

1> @ First stage they will have enough energy for fight with….

2> After 1 year they realize the facet… Due to silent social torture…& torture is more for girl’s side.

3> After 2 years time they will loose that energy to fight with…

4> Then you can file cases (Don’t file any fake case) (Options are DESERTION, CRULTY or if any other applicable)

5> Once cases are filled then they break down before the case gets over & look for mutual settlement….

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