Husband to file divorce case or rcr?

Problem is as much in you as it is in him.  The problem’s name is called EGO.  If you or him were to think what is the consequence of each and every step you take, each and every word you speak, then you and him would not have ended up having problems.  Now both of you are taking help of other people to solve your problems.  Going to court wont solve your problems, it will simply increase problems for both of you and your family members.  Today people will guide you in many different ways, it is for you to understand them as to how they will affect your life, because if you follow wrong advises, tomorrow same people will put the blame on you.  Finally it will be your own decision.  It will be your own signature.  You will be the only person to be blamed for.  So don’t take hasty decision.  Don’t go to court.  At least you wont have guilty feeling that you went to court if things go awry and you end up getting divorced.  All the best.

next update ..today my inlaws send a letter regarding their 6 page long acusations answer of mine...defending 2 points only and not mentioning others..just ignoring and about the slap said he and his lawyer in future will want clarification and i have no other work and disturbing them with lies. if i want i can call their lawyer and go to her firm and talk with her as i told her before that i wont go to her firm. what to do? should i answer or ?

Wat notice they have sent under which law specify here, than only we can tell wat to do. For any notice one has to reply else it shows acceptance of allegations.

HOPE all will be well..... Pray to God sincerely, whole heartedly.

God helps who help themselves.

Once Words SPOKEN can't be taken back...and if it hurts the other person, sincerely apologize.

Save the Sacred institution of marriage.

 @superhero if u r saying why i wrote my mil slapped and taunted all time..its 200% true. thats why they are scared if cross*xamine happen it may well be proved and i had not said any single bad things to my inlaws as my parents gave me the culture to respect elder but that doesnot mean as i donot talk nonsence to her she has the full rights to do it. actually i wanted my MIL go through a tension like this as she always silently and verbally taunts and abused me. my fil is not that bad just control freak and my mil just add fuel to my fil and husband by telling lies . before also when she did all this my husband and fil protested but she started crying like for a outsider u all leaving me..and emotionally blackmailing her son.

 

update...they havenot send any legal notice...i told before that they had send a 6 page long accusation letter saying i overused rice dal, don't make tea don't sleep..etc. i gave them the answer of their alegetion.today they only defended 2 points and argued...total was 12 points.. others just ignored..about the slap incident they had asked me "when that happened?it is lie still ur parents told this to my husbands relatives and to them" i gave the date and time and place.and said ys my mom told dadi and masi just to ensure it should not happen again...in this letter they r saying just "why i worte this they want to know and their lawyer also want to know.as it is lie"then saying i have no other work so writing those letters and disturbing them!!!!! { in my husbands letter he told me i donot have guts to give answer to his parent's allegetion letter..}.lastly they told  i had not recieve their call firstly then donot return their letter so they consulted an advocate.....if i want i can contact their advocate. and listen what she had said earlier{ that is to go her firm and talk with her about this issue}

Dear Sona

first of all your husband is not eligible to file for Divorce as considering your date of marriage, and if does not wants you back and not willing to pick you back why would he file for Restitution of Conjugal Rights (RCR), he has an option to file for Judicial Separation but for that too he will have to prepare relevant grounds, if he does not picks you back or remains silent on taking you back you may go for DV Act., (Domestic Violence), Sec. 9 HMA (Restitution of conjugal rights), 125 Cr.P.C., (Maintenance).

can RCR  safeguard him ? like why i am still in parents house not coming back? he and his parents said that i donot want to live with his son and thats why always run..., not make tea,give him yesterday's food, not sleep with him...an will say mil has not slapped.. can all these be ground?

i think they want to patchup but want me to withdraw my statement like mil slap and push, mental taunting etc...thats why they are saying to talk to their lawyer...the lawyer hinted that ..like why u wrote this? i told her then why first of all they wrote letters and telling lies like i left their son and they always pleade me to come back...and i never want to live with their son...and in reply i wrote i will be back then why again they send letter....the lawyer told me she instructed them not to do this but still my inlaws done it...but i at that time said i can talk with my husband but not with lawyer only about this matter...and i cannot go to her firm...

Hi sona,

After all this what is ur decision?

U dont want to rejoin? If so wait for their move. If they are ready to accept than whats the problem,

Hope this time they will treat u well nothing will happen. As he is only son u should balance the family and look after ur inlaws, at the same time he should respect ur parents, Else this tie wont continue for longer.

Regarding rcr if he files that than u tell why u have come to ur house and how they ill treated u and wat all

problem u may phase if u go their. Than u will be safe guarded but please dont make any false statements just to trouble them. 

but the problem is why should i contact their lawyer...and if she tell me to withdraw my previous letter..

·        The letters are the foundations to break the marriage or mentioning the other person is wrong.

·        Either to black mail you or them. I do understand your constraints.

·        Such as Mother in Law is not treating well and she is abusing you.

·        Husband and Wife both and everyone should respect the elders but not at the cost of your self-respect and there is a limit.

·        The daughter in law nor son in a law is not a paid servant when married.

·        Be Brave, have courage and tell the lawyer that he is my husband and I want to live with him.

·        As someone mentioned Two lionesses can't stay at one place. Ask your Husband and their lawyer that you both can stay together but not with you’re in laws until sometime.

·        Helping Hand mentioned it is both of your EGO - that is creating problems - which is the root cause of all the problems.

·        If YOU or Me, then only one person remains. In a Marriage 1 + 1 = 1.

 

·        Pray to God sincerely with Love and Devotion. All the Best and Wish You Good Luck.

Dear sona,

Its ur life come to firm decision and move ahead,

by this this time u got many replies and suggestion for ur queries,

Dont get confused or dont wait for taking revenge...

Hope ur true by all means than also intentionaly dont give trouble to ur

in laws or husband, if  they r wrong god wil definately give punishment to them

and u choose ur way to be happy and lead ur life, 

one should remember that life is too short to live and we should not sacrify our happiness and life 

just save the any relation or for unworthy people.

Think seriously wat is more important bitter experience with married life or our won future and happiness....?

For nay suggestions call.....

thanks everyone..but the problem is i donot know why they involve lawyer? it can be any relatives..and the language what they wrote it will be very difficult for me to forget..should i call their lawyer?

Hi sonu, My advise is, u don't proceed nd keep quiet nd no need to call their lawyer, I think it will start un wanted discussions. Can you tell, u want ur husband or not? If u accept him you should accept ur in laws also, u can not say u don't want them in ur family life. This is the truth. Else forget everything and move ahead to look for new life. Now think wit cool mind, Don't depend fully on these posts, it's just our views,

i really do not know what i want..sometimes thinking if discussed it will be ok but other time thinking is it really possible to continue with such problem ..my advocate uncle once told me never write bad word always give answer with respect if still they humiliate u.. and told me words are something if it hit someone it cannot be changed..the wound will always be there and i am not that kind of person who forget humiliation of her or her parents so easily..deep down it will always hurt me..as i have a huge EGO and self respect..my theory is if i have never humiliate u ,u have no rights to do it..but if u do it i keep gurdges..before that also happened..when after fight in may after my uncle's wedding "i went his quarter and he said i had no other option and if he did not take me back i could not do anything"...from that day i had changed and also my emotion...i lived with him but inside me something was burning like being a women do i have to do this for family for society? i was fighting a internal fight within me from that day...and its like if i get respect i will if not than wont..its all about respect..

The Problem here is EGO and Self-respect.

I understand what you are going through. These are purely my views and I always wish everyone to have a good marital life with children. Think twice and thrice, listen to your Heart and at the end of the day you have to take care of your life.

Let me place the scenario in 2 ways.

1.      Say you go for Divorce (Contested or MCD). Generally people opt this because adultery, abuse or cheating or very bad behaviors etc.,

2.      This may take a year or 2 or 6 months. And you may get maintenance and alimony.

3.      Then you want to get married again, thinking this time I will get a good husband and good in laws. Blah blah…… (So that is future in one way.)

Second Scenario:

1.      The following should be a very private talk between you and your husband. No third party. Talk from your Heart. Request him to give 30 minutes of his time.

2.      Clearly tell him what your needs are and we are a family. The words you speak should come from Heart. Tell them about your In Laws problems, they have hurted me and my respect.

3.      Together we can make a difference. I still LOVE you and give him a HUG. God has given us an opportunity to grow and evolve and help each other. We made promises during our marriage. Our love should grow every day and we should and will take care of our Families and children. I don’t want to disrespect my husband and My Mother in Law or Father in Law or any one in that case.

4.      If you are still not interested then we can simply go for divorce. Thank You for your time.

Problems do come in every one’s life and misunderstandings do happen. Every day is a test whether you live honestly and take care of your Family or not.

Some are narrow minded and they are rigid. Some people adapt to change easily. It is all within us.

Please go through the following Links.

https://www.ichakadizes.com/what-is-the-biggest-asset-to-have-in-a-marriage/

https://www.ichakadizes.com/marriage-as-a-school/

https://www.ichakadizes.com/love-and-life/

https://www.ichakadizes.com/maintaining-a-marriage/

https://www.ichakadizes.com/there-are-no-mistakes/

https://www.ichakadizes.com/the-institution-of-marriage/

https://www.ichakadizes.com/life-is-conflicts-frustrations-and-pain-necessarily-so/

https://www.ichakadizes.com/attitude-for-mutual-trust-and-respect/

Talking and Thinking from Mind and Heart is different.

Before taking the decision. Pray to God sincerely with Love and Devotion. The choice is always YOURS..

 

Wish You Good Luck…This is my Last Post….per se