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Subrato (Manager)     03 June 2013

Got married to a shy,behenji wife

Hello Gentlemen.

 

Let me introduce myself.

 

I am a smart,dashing,fluent in English 26 year old guy,well bred in Mumbai.Now I am working in a top,well known MNC of Gurgaon.

6 months back,I got married to a Delhi girl.This is my second marriage.My last marriage had ended in divorce.

 

I  had met my second wife several times before marriage and she had been honest with me about her nature.She told me that she's shy type,reserved,Indianised,does not like show off,etc etc etc.She did not have many friends also-just 2 or maybe 3.

 

I married her believeing we don't get such good charactered girls nowadays.

 

But after marriage I am getting irritated with her nature.To cite a few examples:

 

1. I move in high society.The guys and gals there are all wearing branded western attires.All are extremely westernized.

My wife does not agree wo wear these.Though she dresses up really well in salwar suit with matching jewellery,but I dislike the fact that she totally disagrees to dress up in western attires.

 

2. Although my wife is good to me and kind,she is reserved.Does not make friends easily.She is shy to even initiate conversations with new people in a social gathering.

 

3. On the dance floor she never participates.Despite the people calling her many times,she never agrees.She tells me she doesn't know how to dance and will look foolish if she tries.So it's better not to dance.This again embarasses me,that all the youngsters except her are dancing.While she is watching their dance like an old lady.

 

4. So I become the butt of jokes amongst my friends.Thay all talk behind my back that I have got a behenji in my wife.

When I try to explain to her that she must become modern and social,she starts weeping that I am too much into show off.I do not respect her individuality,and don't accept her the way she is.She says my love is only based on conditions.

 

Although she is very intelligent,faithful to me and very fluent in English also like me,she fails to cooperate on the grounds as mentioned above.

 

Please advise what I should do now.Have I made a wrong choice of marrying her?



Learning

 28 Replies

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     03 June 2013

given facts indicate that you are at fault.

 

you are already divorced and still talking in terms "Have I made a wrong choice of marrying her?". 

 

since goven facts do not indicate any ground for divorce I am worried this forum may not be able to help you.

rajiv rajan (rr)     03 June 2013

Dear Friend 

In which book it is written if u r wearing the westren attires or dancing in dance floor than u became a modern person. Just for your friends u cannot force to anybody for doing any work. 

sony (law)     03 June 2013

it is shameful on your part, people like your mindset should be punished, irrespective of feeling good to have nice wife u r tourchering her by your foolish thoughts.


(Guest)

It sounds like you have a nice person for your wife and are unlucky not to understand that

Give her time,send her to dance classes.She will change to an extent.If she desn`t change,you change yourself for an extent.Yu knew her nature befre you married her.

samoon shaikh (lawyer)     03 June 2013

Mr Subrato, You have got such a wife with all good qualities.. if she is not coeprative towards ur friends or towards todays generation. than it doesn't mean to say that ur decision of marriage is wrong... You should look her from ur angle nor from other angle.. She makes ur life happy .. wat more u want...

stanley (Freedom)     03 June 2013

she had already conveyed her character to you in terms of simple truth  and its all your fault  . Be happy and live happily with your wife rather than bothering about wht your friends say to you about your wife . In bad times its your wife who would be close to you rather than your friends .


(Guest)

fake thread.

SAA_Bombay (Pro)     03 June 2013

Change your friends, becoz the wife you have, people search for same.................you will regret later on, if taken any decission in pressure of time. Your thinking is based on just this age, even think for future......

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     03 June 2013

i agree with all the views above.

 

till now i have failed to understand these metro men and their families.

 

all men,esp. north indians and their parents want a "smart" wife/DIL whom they can boastly show off to their relatives and frenz..north indians are the biggest show offs in the world.no wonder this guy is from Ggn.

 

in future when this modern west. dresses pahanne waali creates problems,they cry foul that mod. women have no shame left.at that time they discuss in legal forums like LCI that they wished to have a simple traditional wife who'll dance to their tunes.

then these awful people go for a 2nd marriage where they luckily get a simple innocent wife as per their liking.but old habits die hard.

they hurt the self respect of these innocent girls for they are soft targets who dont know how to retaliate.only because of their clothes!! huh!!

they torture them till thay cant take it any more.

 

finally they have a 2nd divorce also.

 

 wot exactly do men want?

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     03 June 2013

he has not indicated why he was divorced earlier.  A man for whom marriage is joke needs not a lawyer by psychiatrist.

ragz hyder (PM)     03 June 2013

Really serious here. If you are planning to leave her let me know her contact details. Is she vegetarian? how does she cook?

2 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     03 June 2013

Originally posted by : ragz hyder

Really serious here. If you are planning to leave her let me know her contact details. Is she vegetarian? how does she cook?

Ha ha...Vey Funny.

 

 

Mr. Subrato,if this is how you continue behaving,you never know when any new guy like above person will sweep your wife off her feet by his kindness and true love .Then you will regret. 4ever.

 

go thru this entire site.it's full of such men's complaints whose wives are too modern,selfish,career oriented, etc etc.do u want to join their queue?

Subrato (Manager)     03 June 2013

Dear all,I admire your suggestions till now.

 

But it gets very frustrating when everyone is enjoying the party while she is sitting,watching everyone else have the fun.As I said she does not have many friends also.At home also,I never find her inviting friends or going out to meet others.

 

Leave alone youngster parties,when we attend any wedding ferom her side or my side,she never dances where people are dancing in Indian attires..She does not socialize much She speaks less.So all my relatives look at her in an amusing manner.

 

Even she does not interact much with her own relatives.I have observed that they ignore her too.So there must be something about her owing to which no one likes her.

She had once conveyed that in her childhood her parents were too authoritarian.Even I have seen that they are overprotective.They keep giving her instructions which are given to a 5 year old child,such as cross the road carefully.She knows how to cross,but I often get amused when they treat her like a baby.

 

When anyone cheats her,say a shopkeeper,I never see her standing up for herself.She is damn too afraid of quarrels.But when my own mum or sis point out her faults,she gets hurt and wants to share with me how much they nag her.So contradictory!

I overhear my friends saying that she has a low self esteem,cannot carry herself and seems depressed kind.

Although when she is with me and we go out on foreign holidays,she does enjoy,but in her own way.A stroll in the park,or a joyride will fascinate her more than the mall culture.Shopping for colourful clothes,jewellery and cosmetics also fascinate her..So I feel pissed off,as to why she cannot adjust in a metro life.Because this is how everyone else lives.

She is fit to be called  a sati savitri,but too much simplicity gets irritating.

 

I have explained her many times,but she does not want to listen.She is too stubborn.IShe has beautiful,long hair which are not so silky.I want her to get them straightened.But she disregards this also,saying that this will damage her hair and she does not want to lose her only natural assets just to please me aand others.This annoys me further.

 

I can write further.But lack the patience.Therefore am here to seek suggestions.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     03 June 2013

This is a free advice forum where legal advise is given in charity.  So querist is expected to avoid abusive language.  The experts here are advising the queriest using their private net connection, private time (at the cost of spouce and childre) private cmputer, private labour and privale electricity only for the sake of charity.

 

The given facts do not indicate ground for divorce.



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