Upgrad LLM

filing a case on wife and her family for mentally torturing


It is not even a year i got married in the month of feb'13. after marriage due to no good days, in may month we are living together as i work in hyderabad and she too. my native place is other. last month (10 Oct'13) from 10th she is with her parents. I am facing a problem with my wife and her parents. since 1 month she was with her parents and two times with some Big people Panchayat has done and they said the judgement. Even after that, her parents were not satisfied and now they are trying to pull me back to another sitting. Their main aim is to separate from my parents. So that they can do what ever they wants and more over they are threatening me that will file 498(a) DV on me and my family members. from very beginning of married life (first night) she started saying that how you knew all these, whenever we meet. every time she is in favor of their parents and argues with me and makes to feel to beat her. For this, her aunty is motivating her family to file 498 (a) on grounds of harassment.

1. She is now not with me from Oct 10th.

2. Never lived with my parents at my native. Hardly 2/3 days spent with my family.

3. I rented a house that which will be near to her work and that costs me 2hrs TO & FRO for my ofz, even though i am trying to be good at her.

4. Once with her words, we took my to hospital for a surgery with my money. after this somehow my parents adjusted the same amount of money in other ways.

5.every silly/simple issues she says at her parents which happens with me or my parents.

6.first panchayt sitting i raised a point that with broad mind i excused her for something. for this, she said im not talking with that person after mother-in-law operation, because my husband informed the person that my mom is not interested seeing you at my son's house. she said this statement and then if you want to know whether im talking to the person (so called her brother without any blood relation, js know to their family since 6 years and we do tie rakhi, he helped me in my job) mine is post paid bill which my husband will receive it through email and he can check. recently i checked last two month bill - it clearly showing she spoke to him number of times.

 

how can i pretend her and her family or can i go on filing a case instead of they putting a case on me/family. again now they are calling us to panchayt for talks and they are very much cunningly wants me to separate from my parents. what is the point i can strongly say to them and what can i do if they won't listen to me.

 

Please could you suggest me something to get rid of this. I am really suffering a lot with all the tension and more my parents are too.

 
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Its better youfile divorce casevif you dont feel to continue this relation immeditely before she file 498a


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Thanks "Brother" for the quick response for my query.

here im lil bit worried that, if i go filing the case before she, on what grounds can i stand strong based on my story to get divorce.

 
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Advocate

Dont be upset over the routine tussles and be misguided to take hasty decision.  if she is not returning to your house, do not make any attempt to call her back this time.  Allow her to remain there in her house itself and sever all connections with her, do not attend her phone calls and do not even bother about her very existence.  Ignore her totally, allow this separation to go on for a while, if she realises and returns to your house, take her back or wait for the time to pass, the time will have an answer for all your problems then.


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Hi Kalaiselvan garu,

i did the same that i didn't called her up till now from the issue has been raised. but attended twice to her phone calls. that to she said she is not well, to say this she called up, but not listened to me what i was to say. sure will be calm and do not tries to call/sms/mail her. here the main problem is with my wife and MIL, what ever she is saying FIL is acting according. they are dragging me and my family into sh*t, putting lots of pressure on us. and now they might ask me and my family for another sitting for panchayt, but, with my office works im not in a position to attend because of already in office i received more than twice warning from the HOD. now its time for me that a project meetings and submissions were to be attended this full week. please could you advice on this. really heartbreaking situation. 

gone through the forum, many of man/men suffering with the same issue. unbelievable! no laws were to support the suffering husbands. i think itz because of these Indian laws, female (wife of a husband) without thinking about their future doing all this to men.

 
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I am trying to put RCR sending it to my wife. is it correct thing what i thought? on sunday they might call for panchayt. please suggest.

 
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Advocate

Balaji,

as advised earlier, do not submit to the sentimental pressure tactics adopted by her or her parents, be firm and calm, do not attend her calls, try not to venture into sms, fb, twitter, legal notice or RCR etc, this will provoke and the problems will aggravate and tend to rope in new and more vigorous problems leading to ugly exchange of spats and prolonging legal issues. Keep calm for the present, allow her to become tired of you due to your dead silence, teach her lessons over her mistakes and see if the passage of time will resolve all the issues between you both or it needs to tame the issues, therefore issuing legal notice and RCR case against her will be like inviting troubles for you especially at this very early stage of marriage.

 
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annai nuvvu raasindi okka mukka kooda ardamkaaledu...kudirithe telugulo cheppu...

neway

 

what I suggest is try sending a registered letter with ack due receipt asking her to come back and then if she comes back then fine, if she doesn't come back then sever all the communication with her and move on for some time till she realizes her mistake.

 

if you bend for unreasonable and irrational demands then god can only save you. So be strong and don't get afraid of fake cases. If a case is registered, think that you got a license for divorce.

 

But a MAN should know what is an unreasonable and irrational demand. How to deal with such demands. Divorce is not a solution for all problems.

 
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Hi All,

Thanks for your valuable suggestion. Im sorry, it took long time to revert.

After my posting, and all the discussions had with elders along with Girl's family, she came to me. Thought good, that, its all over. But, here comes the real problem for me again. She came to me because to get her revenge and to show me and my family BAD. In the month of January, she left me stating cannot live with me.

Her problem is that she wants me to be with her family and what ever they say i should listen to them and act accordingly. 

I am suffering a lot with her attitude and behavior towards me since the first night. Instead of Men saying/asking/torturing about s*x to women, she started asking me how do you knew all these things in s*x. Not even once, she asked me that nearly about 20 times before the time of first panchayat. 

After the panchayat she said that she will not do such things and will behave good. But as I said in the starting sentences, she came to me take revenge. After Panchayat, when she came and we lived together not even for 45 days, in those days, she started kicking at me at my (P...S) while we are at sleep. When I asked her she said sorry sorry at sleep i not understood. she did it for more than four times. It is really painful area for me to tackle her. I thought she will realize and understands what she is doing. But, she never. Also, every time she blames me that you are not capable to live or to buy luxury life like others. As she is working, wants to give money to her parents. without informing or discussing with me, she sent her family money. that i found in her bag.

If I say her that how to live life or what expenses u had blah blah as a husband, everything she is saying to her family, like I am treating her like a slave. Her family, not only her parents, relatives too questioning me how will u ask her or say so. If she says something when we discuss regardless of anything, that she is showing no i didn't spoke like that, u r creating my (gal) character bad in front of others and my family.

Its been one month she left me. Two days back I thought to shift (as i am living in rented house far from my native) the household items, they got that information and came to me and attacked. Girl's father used unparliamentary language against my Mother.

Please suggest, as I don't want to be in mental tensions with that girl.

 
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