Vikram (n) 24 September 2013

Does failing from performing duties count as acrime/cruelty?

Im married since the last 1 and half years and it was a love & arranged marriage. During this one and half year of relationship I was not able to realise that i have drastically changed in terms of not being able to take up responsibilities and perform a duty of a husband in terms of personal life. Because of the following issue -

- Work - i used to be in a sales job that involved extensive travel, like almost 150kms a day

- finance - had couple of loans to to take care of and with remaining salary we were just managing with not much of money to spend on lavish expenses

because of which the outcome were regular fights-

- irregularity in personal life / she was not satisfied because i used to refuse sometimes after a tiring day out at work

- she thought i changed drastically post marriage for no good reason and often we used to fight over this when i try explaining that things have changed

- i could not give enough time post marriage as my responsibilities at work increased day by day

- i never shared my financials with her and could afford everything she used to ask for but i kept her happy in small things

- during fights she used to hit me very badly, i have also hit her couple of times little harshly

- couple of times she got hysteria (reason may be because of my change post marriage)

Recently i moved from sales to core marketing profile with a better salary, that was the biggest relief for both of us, we found a house for rent and was able to give her more time what she expected.

10 days ago suddenly she went to her mother's place and told everything that happened between us that includes personal life. Her mother called up my mother and we all met where to my dismay my wife said she has decided not to stay with me anymore. She had exaggerated every issue that happened between us in the past. She spoke a lot issues which was very much insulting in front of her mother and her mother also spoke in the similar tone. Since her father lives abroad i tried calling him by then they had informed him about this. He again insulted me and said he would put me behind the bars for torturing his daughter both mentally & physically.

Now im worried what to do can anyone pls suggest...thanks

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4 Replies

(Guest)

Bro.....You desperately need a marriage councellor and your wife desperately need a good husband as you were before marriage.

My sincere advice to you your wife is good don't loose her,make some sense every wife needs all the things which you have stated above,and meanwhile you have failed to convince her your situation rather than making fuss more and over the time.

Even now also nothing went to harsh,just listen your fault and try to amend the way's because the person who expect's love from you will forgive you soon if you try something in different way.

Yarr paisa toh bahut Kama loge but Pyarr karne wali Biwi kahan se Paoge. So, list out the issues and try to work on them.

Best of luck for your happy married life ahead.

Aameen:))

(Guest)

@Author

Your brief neither shows cruelty nor crime. But you better organize things and learn to live a balanced life. Don't worry, fight your case on merits.

Vikram (n) 25 September 2013

Thanks for taking time in replying to my thread.

the issue now is that her parents are more involved in our trivial issues because of which im not given a chance to explain things at my end. She is saying that she was not at all happy with me through out and for a matter of fact neither was i. When ever we used to fight she would cry and when i try to convince she would hit me or not let me go near her. So i decided to just ignore fights after few initial fights, she has misunderstood that i intentionally did that so she can be hurt mentally.

Even if they were to take out their anger on me, under what grounds would they be able to sue me?

facts -

- we never asked for any dowry nor did they offer us, there is no such proof that there was any such transaction between me and their family in terms of money/property.

- i have equally suffered both mental & physical torture from her which they are not ready to accept

- before marriage we both decided to struggle together and come up in our married life (proof is facebook chat and messages that we exchanged)

- she suspected on me that i had an affair (my friend once told me that she had called him to check if i was with him when we were on a school reunion)

im worried that her parents would brainwash her and ask her to file a false case under Section 498a/DV.

i just want to know if that happens what precautions should i take before they take such hasty decisions.

Vikram (n) 25 September 2013

New update, just wanted to check.

I visited my wife's place last week to take her back, but her mother started a new story that is as follows -

Both mother and daughter visited an astrologer after this issue, and he had apparently said that this fight was supposed to happen so her daughter could join her mother back else i would have killed / she would have died by some other way. This has worsened this issue as her mother started saying she would never send her back, what if i do something.

Now that this topic came up, im really skeptical as to even if my wife agrees to stay with me and by mere coincidence something happens i will be affected very badly.

Anyway that i can sue them for all these silly stories that is disturbing my family.