husband having affair

Hello Everyone ,

I would need your guidance . I am a girl working in a MNC and earning decently . I got married 2 years back and right from the day of marriage ,husband and in-laws were demanding. From a middle class family values i was determined to make my marriage a success. Husband demanded money from me through various ways . Sometimes through cash deposit into his account, sometimes paying for his car insurance ,home loans etc...He never cared for me and always left me at my parents place whenever i fell ill . Also he used to make excuses and come home very late in night around 2PM or 3PM and we did not had any love life .He always used to find out ways to extract money from me .This contiued for a couple of months until i felt a little suspicios about his behaviour with one of his cousin sister. Upon a little spying on him , found out they they both are in a affair .

Determined to fix the broken things and make the marriage work ,served him with all the love and care i had . Served by health and wealth also . When nothing changed tried speaking to my husband .He told that he dosent feel me attaractive enough and that i am fat . He was trying to break my self-confidence . However, i asked that if he was not attacted to me then why did he marry me . He had no answer to that .I am average built girl in Healthy BMI range .In no ways i am not attractive . Since i knew about his affair , i knew he is simply making excuse .

Well , after that i went to my parents place and have been living with them . Now recetnly , learnt that my mother-in-law is spreading roumours in the relatives that i have an affair , so that is why i have gone to my parents and my parents are also quite and we havent taken any action. My silence is being mis-interpreted .

He talked to my father, saying that he has some money and can go for mutual divorce. I know after the divorce , he will marry his cousin sister. I do not want to divorce him as i did not marry him for money . After spoiling my life he will marry his cousin and lead a happy life .

If i file any case of dowry/harassment on him(which happened in reality) , eventually it will lead to divrorce . else in few months he may file a case on me that i deserted him and ask for divorce . I dont want to divorce him, so that as long as i am his official wife he will not be able to marry his cousin sister .

Please advice .

legal practioner

Hello Sanjana

From facts you have narrated here, it is very clear that your husband is not at all have any love or affection for you. He just using  your money. Living with such person is like committing suicide. you have remedies available in law to fight and bring back your husband but since he did not have any love or care for you from his bottom of heart, He will harrass  you by various means to get rid of you. You will get tangled more and more into various litigations which ultimately results into loss of your valuable time and money. so my suggestion is please don't spoil  your life anymore. Get divorced and live your life peacefully. you can file the case for recovering the money grabbed by your husband from you and other articles gifted at the time of marriage by your parents and relatives. its your stridhan. you have right to ask for the same. so take help of any good lawyer for the same.  you are a well educated girl and have ocean of opportunities of good future ahead.  please think over it and take a decesion.

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Send him a letter telling him that you want to join him and asking him why he does not want to accept you. Keep sending such letters every two months by Registered Mail. Keep a record of all these letters. 

He cannot remarry without divorce so Wait for him to file for divorce. Then you file a counter-claim seeking divorce from him based upon desertion (two years may pass by that time), cruelty, etc.  He will ask for mutual consent. You will be bargaining from a position of strength.  Enter into a mutual consent divorce after he agrees to pay you one-time alimony that is fair. Be done. Get remarried and live happily ever after.  Your situation is not going to bring you in a matrimonial relationship back with your husband. So, make the best out of the situation but do not give up.  I am sure you will find other men to marry.  

In the meantime, try to get evidence of his affair. 


So your husband is in love with other woman and you don�t want to get a divorce. You want to remain his wife while he has this affair. If you want to stop him from getting divorce you can find many ways to do that, any lawyer can advise ways. Might be better for you to see a counselor and have a conversation about low self esteem before you speak with a lawyer.

Thanks everyone for the views and suggestions . It definately helps . 


I takes two to tango. Instead of continually finding fault with husband and co. Simply take mutual divorce or atleast file RCR petition with your above story. You are at loss here. Not him.  The more you play around and wait, your jawani will go down to sanitary pads, and nothing will be left after some time. I dont want you to suffer later due to wrong advices given by above people.  You are woman and your shelflife is very short one. Please understand this.


After spoiling my life he will marry his cousin and lead a happy life.

It appears that your life hasn't been spoiled; and you're disgusted with his future happy life.     It's to be expected.      After all you're a woman.

I invariably see Questioners hating affairs which are absolutely common.       Questioners always point out the affairs of their spouses and hide theirs.




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