Advise


Dear All,

Good Evening.

Iam a House wife and staying at hyderabad.I stay saperately with my husband but my in laws stays just 2 houses apart.Actually i had problem with my husband and i was with my parents for almost 1 year.For kids sake and as my husband said that he wants me back i returned to his house.

Yesturday we had a huge fight and my husband called his parents and his mom and dad shouted at me and his dad really used filthy language and also abused my parents and me.

I told him to behave him self or else iam not going to tolerate it any more.My husband was just watching but he did not tried to stop him.Today we again had fight and my husband said it was his wrong decision to bring me back.

Actually there was no fault of mine with what happend yesturday.I want to leave this house and i packed my things .But now i really dont know what to do as i left my job for his sake and also withdrawn my kids school admission on his advice and came to his place.I have 2 daughters who are less not even 5.

If he asks me to leave what am i supposed to do.Do i have to leave.I dont have a job nor any property in my name and i am really scared.

Please Help.

 

 
Reply   
 
practicing advocate

I think between you and your husband there is interference of your in laws.  So better go for counciling.


Total likes : 1 times

 
Reply   
 



Convince your spouse that for the sake of 2 little children, there should not be any dispute. If he is financially sound,ask him to take care of their future. Keep mum for some days. Develop your relations with your husband. Please note that the reason of dispute should be solved by taking him to any hotel or good place and discussing with him seperately, not in front of his parents. If relations are developed,well and good. Be polite in front of all and convince him about your problems and ask him to solve the same according to his capacity. It is very much important to share the love instead of going for confrontation.


Total likes : 2 times

 
Reply   
 

don't leave your husband and home.Try new job in your own place.think of kids.

You are re-united that means your husband realised waht he did with you earliar...

Try to avoid him when he fights with you.those repeat those things which created your separation.

 
Reply   
 
Advocate

I totally agree with Srinivasg advocate and utpala.  Law can take care of you and your children's maintenance and your residence, if you invoke appropriate legal provisions at appropriate time.  But that is not the concern.  The thing is how to patch up with your husband.  You are staying two houses away from your in-laws' house means, I presume, you put a condition to come back again to your husband he should live separately from his parents. It appears, he accepted such condition and brought you back.  As you have been put up only just 2 houses away from his parents' house means, he still loves and feels responsibility towards his parents.  It also shows that they have got moral authority on him, because when he called they came and argued in his favour and he kept mum through out the argument.

You patch up with your husband.  His affection towards his parents is natural and not condemnable.  At the same time, he shall be appreciated that he started to live separately from his parents for your sake.  So, do not just think about his negative points, but think about his positive points.  If you are in a position to do a job, go and get it as economic independence always gives you a chance live life happily.


Total likes : 1 times

 
Reply   
 
Fighter Hiya !!!

Blame game and pointing fingures is not the right thing to do specially in marital relationships ..... Be reasonable with others so that others can be reasonable with you !!

 
Reply   
 
Chairman

Mr. sam is quite right in light of the version being one side of a the coin.
 
Reply   
 

Thank you all for your inputs.

Actually even before leaving to my parents we both used to saty in the same house.Infact my husband was the one who proposed that after marriage we will stay saperately.2 months back when we have decided to stay togeather, he took me to his aunts house and as they know our problem they advised to stay togeather for kids sake and all , he confessed to that even he knows that i there is some problem with his mom and as soon as we go to delhi(actually we are staying now in delhi) he will change house to a different location from his parents.

After goiong to delhi he never bothered to change house and even i did not mention it as i dint want to creat any sort of misunderstanding after all what had happened.But after his parents issue, i asked him to change the house,for that he said he will not and when i reminded him of his commitment on changing tha house he said why did i mention it now and why not earlier.I told him that i diint want to bother him so i dint mention it but now as his parents are really very very mean to me i want to stay little far from him so that i dont have to face them daily and listen to all their crap.For taht he bluntlt said he will not change the house and if i want to stay ican otherwise i can leave.

I really dont want to leave as it would look like a joke leaving him going to parents and again coming to him and again leaving.My parents and my brother stay in same house and my brother is married .If i go to my parents i have to stay with my sis-in-law,whic would really look bad.

Please, can any of you help me understand his attitide.I understood that even he dont want me to leave as even it will be bad for him in the society and many reasons like that.

This is why iam confused.

Thank you.

 
Reply   
 

you are are a understanding person and are interested in working out your marriage . There are many provisions in law where you can get maintanence , residence etc . But this would only aggreviate the problem and spoil / break relations with your husband .The only option is to win over his heart convince him but never ever leave him .In the mean while if you look out for a job it would be good . Children require both the parents love else should the marriage go haywire it would distrub the children .

 
Reply   
 

Please refer my advise.You should adjust with his parents and gradually ask him to take seperate accommodation if he affords for it. Otherwise you cannot force him todo so. After all life is an adjustment. Concentrate you mind on your children and go ahead. Going to the court will only spoil the marriage tie. It will also waste of money and time. You have not clearly put forth the dispute contents. IF the real cause of dispute is known we can give our advise.

 
Reply   
 

LEAVE A REPLY


    

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register  



 

  Search Forum








×

Menu

Post a Suggestion for LCI Team
Post a Legal Query
CrPC MASTERCLASS!     |    x