You do have parents. You have 2 degrees. Three of them, your parents.
your psychology degree, mba hr degree could not teach you meaning of marriage and life?
It appears you were taught that marriage is only spreading legs and making babies while others slog it out to keep you entertained by talking to you, taking you you out for joy rides, coffee shots restaurants etc.
What you have described above itself is life.
Life is like this only.
Few ppls lives are worse than yours.
You have child out of marriage means his dic is working fine.
It best appears that you are unable to arouse the best part of him (your man) which is an art. and entirely your fault.
If he wants money give him one time settlement, and take divorce.
Eitherways your story has many unconected dots. lose ends. which point mistake is yours only.
Life is adjustment. especailly married life. Marriage is not everybodys cup of tea. You simply should have avoided marrying. You could not adjust with this one, how would you have adjusted with anyone else?