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S.B _Kolkata (Service)     14 January 2010

Wife is asking me to stay with her appart from her In laws h

Yes this happened with me recently. They are trying to put me in force so that I can stay with her but not in my house. In other way still they are trying to isolate me from my family..

What shoud I do at this stage to prevent the same?

Please advise.



 19 Replies

Arup Kumar Gupta, Korba, Chattishgarh ((m)9893058429)     14 January 2010

if you do not want to left your parents nobody can detached you; but if you have no complain against your wife then you may make a seperate matrimonial home, where from you can also look after your parents. a little understanding may save and brought peace of three families. your's; your parent's; your in law's. think twice before you done.

1 Like

Arvind Singh Chauhan (advocate)     14 January 2010

Gupa sir have suggested best solution.

1 Like

Poonam Upadhyay pathak (Advocate)     14 January 2010

Exactly correct, i totally agree with Gupta sir.

1 Like

Hardik Mehta (Family Counsellor)     15 January 2010

R,

I would request you not to accept this condition. I know one case where this condition was put, the boy accepted the condition, and was giving the maintenance to the parents, Gradually she then forced her to cut off the meetings with the parents and then the telephonic contact and finally no financial support. The demands are increasing and you will not know what will happen next. In another case, the girl not only demanded no contact with the parents, but also to kick them from the house where they are staying. The couple were staying abroad and the house was in the husbands name with the contribution from all the family members. This is the situation to grab everything of the husband and nothing to be given in return.

 

Dont bow to the UNREASONABLE DEMANDS and also separate from your parents. They are your support and she is trying to withdraw the support, making you totally alone in the world. Then all the control including the financial control will be theirs. Just think twice before taking such steps. I would not recommend you to do the same.

2 Like

nag (same)     16 January 2010

The best adivce from Mehta Sir,

Mehta Sir, Hats off to you.

But , is it possible to fight legally in this matter if they forcing to dessert parents. In most of such cases girl's side people will threaten with 498 by saying that in laws are torturing. Is there any Legal solution to come out of this problem. Is it possbile for one to get divorce on this basis ( Provided that he is not happy with his wife for other reason's also)

Please advice.

,

1 Like

(Guest)
On advices of wife husband shouldn't live apart from parents. Hardik Mehta ji rightly said. Son's services are more required to their paerents at old age.They shouldn't left isolated that will creat them depression. Think before taking decesion.If the decesion is taken collectively by all family members then it is OK.
1 Like

Ajith (Head (HRD))     16 January 2010

There are certain problems in life without solutions, especially family matters.  Wife asks husband to leave husband's relatives.  After marriage, if husband has good income, every wife would wish for that.  She does not want the husband to stay with her relatives also.  In such case, no suggestion is acceptable to any husband or he is stupid to take a decision.   This is seen everywhere in the world.   Unless he can not make her understand to accept the behaviours and characters of his relatives and make her acceptable and vice versa, staying separately is the most beneficial welfare for his family.  But, if he is inteested in his own responsibilities, better is a no-reply to such subjects and discussions, since the future  life is of his individual and solutins are conditional to the surroundings.  The usage of "they" makes difficult to suggest the most suitable solutions.

1 Like

S.B _Kolkata (Service)     16 January 2010

Yesterday night I spoke with her and found so much adament. though I have not agreed or accepted the words she used for the isolation. But How long will it continue? Her voice has been recorded and most of the time during telecon she accused me that knowingly I am putting pressure on her to be stayed with my family.

Secondly, I observed that she is asking for more money in every month and very much thank full to her parents for giving her monetary support as she accuses. Now in every month I m sending her 5500/- or 6000/- vide cheque. But she need more money and showing reason that her parents have already spent lots of money against my daughter and wife.

I am not finding any way to tackle the situation as stated above.I have stopped to go my in laws house, but the only thing, there is my innocent daughter, staying with my wife  who are least bother to listen to my word.

There are lots of motive That I observed and anticipating in my wife and her parents to take up the matter legally by misusing of 498a. They at any cost, are not ready to agree my word and do not wants to stay with my family.

In view of the above I am requesting every body to advise me suitably.

Arup Kumar Gupta, Korba, Chattishgarh ((m)9893058429)     16 January 2010

File a rcr. may be your liniency,is the cause of her adament behaviour. pay her more or less 33% of your salary and keep it's record must, for producing at court - if necessary.

asking more money is general tendency. actually 498a & dv making the wife & in laws adament. sc perfectly said that HMA, instead of making, breaking the matrimonial home. 

1 Like

Hardik Mehta (Family Counsellor)     17 January 2010

Nag,

It is possible to fight legally if the girl is forcing to get separated, then this is against the right to the personal liberty and freedom under Article 21 of The Consitiution of India, which can be deemed as cruelty in matrimonial cases. This can be the basis of divorce if the wife forces to get separated from parents.

1 Like

Hardik Mehta (Family Counsellor)     17 January 2010

R,

I would advice you to stop sending the money now. Dont give her the easy access to the money. They are thinking that he is in need and will come down and accept my demands. Let her go to the court and ask for maintenance. Let this be on the court record and at that time you will have the oppourtinity to speak what you want. If she tells such unreasonable demands in the court, this will be seen as the cruelty against you and you will benefit.

 

Do not worry about 498a case or DV case. Since you are sending money by cheque before, this would be helpful in establishing the fact that you have not asked for the dowry. This gesture will be in you favour. You can simply tell that after stopping the money, she filed the false cases. She does not want to stay with me nor wanted me to be with my daughter.

1 Like

S.B _Kolkata (Service)     17 January 2010

According to the advises from your end what I found as stated herein below:

1. I can File a case under article21(Basis of Divorce)

2. I can file RCR

3. I should stop to send money.

4.I should write a letter stating the non acceptance of her proposal regarding separated stay.

But In the mean time I got an chance to go South Africa from my office (for 6 month).

I believe it will help me a lot to have money in hand to give her a GOOD fight, as we are belonging a simple middle class family.

And one more thing that I should disclose to you people that My wife was convicted by IPC for the looting case before 9 years and spent 6.5 years behind the bar.

Knowingly I got married her to bring her into the main stream of life but facing the same adversly... Though she have already changed her name also...

I do not know in detail about the case but she stated me before marriage.

May be her behavior is nothing but the consequence of Jail life????

Please suggest me.

DR.SANAT KUMAR DASH (Eye Specialist)     18 January 2010

 You    should    stop    sending   money    to   u'r   wife     till   she    files    a   Maintenance    case  in  the   Court.  She    should   be    get   a    lession.  She    is  adament    bcoz     of   easy  money.  All   the   Learned   LCI   members     have   given    good   advice. Thanks   2     all   of   them.

1 Like

S.B _Kolkata (Service)     22 January 2010

 

We married in May, 09, stayed together but separated from my house up to June, 09. After onward, she gave birth of our child in 29th august, 09 and staying with her parents.
 
She was convicted by session court accused for a looting case (gang robbery) in Kolkata in 2003, spent 6.5 years behind the bar (before marriage) and released in 2006.
 
Her father is well connected with the lawyers as well as political personals.
 
We do have a joint account having locker facility, ATM card, cheque book and key of the locker are with them.
 
Before marriage her father has got the sign from me and his daughter in a court paper (undersigned by me & my wife) stating that “knowingly we decided to marriage each other and have no grievance on them” so and so….. Actually he never gave me a copy of the same.
 
Earlier she was admitted an asylum (mental hospital) as she stated before marriage, I am trying hard to find out the institute.
 
After releasing from jail she has changed her name.
 
Every month I am sending her Apprx. 5500/- to 6000/- Rupees for the maintenance of her and my daughter, but she demanded at least 10,000/- pm which is not affordable for me.
 
 
For any further quarries please feel free to mail me.
My email id: sli_raj@rediffmail.com
 
 
Thanking You
Yours very truly
 
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Kolkata, West Bengal

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