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sathya.moorthy56 (EXECUTIVE)     15 February 2013

Unhappy marriage

We are married 6 months as of now. This marriage is a hell.
We are contantly fighting with each other.
No happiness at all. I want to end this. I feel miserable. No matter what. I cannot tolerate this pain anymore.
I spoke with my wife regarding this.
But she threatens me saying she will die leaving a suicide note saying Iam the one responsible for her death

Tell me what to do now?




 



Learning

 11 Replies

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     15 February 2013

try to find root cause of difference.

go for marital counselling.


if the conflicts r not resolved, go for MCD.

radhika (housewife)     16 February 2013

hi...dont be late..... you MUST involve elders ... from both the family. ur extended and her extended family members...  but do not inform her about this.. she might take any wrong action... one day call every one at home by saying tht its a surprise gettogether and ur wife should not be informed ..so no one will call her.... and while having the converstaion openly, do record ...vidoe recording is imp... also, if u think tht your wife is wrong then secretly record every thing ..her behavior... 

but pls if your wife is at no fault... do not treat her badly... love her...dont give her pain...  its really hurt... but if you are genuine .. then go ahead...

so tht she cannot put any false allegation on you....  and approach court... becaue there are some inocent people who get trapped .....

and i know not all man/husbands are wrong... there are some good people in this world....

I love my parents (law)     16 February 2013

Thanks dear Radhika for your words "i know not all man/husbands are wrong... there are some good people in this world...".

 

 and satya - i am totally agree with radhika try to recod as much as document evidence.

Regards,

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     17 February 2013

agreed with Sam only correction in metro and tier -2 cities.


(Guest)

I being a man totally in agreement with these laws, they are good and they truly protect an unprivilaged woman. And actually we should all protect unprivilaged woman. So we men have no problem with the laws

but we hate misuse and its a gross misuse. Misuse should be punished severly. With somany false cases around even then no actions are taken to correct them is again a foolish act. There should be a way to sue the courts ,inlaws and government for the harassment we have undergone for false cases.

We men are fighters and we sacrifice our lives to provide safety for our mothers and sisters.

:-)

sathya.moorthy56 (EXECUTIVE)     17 February 2013

thank you all for your valuable comments.

(Guest)

 

Originally posted by : Amit---------------

try to find root cause of difference.

go for marital counselling.




if the conflicts r not resolved, go for MCD.


Amit ji, I have to start process for MCD and streedhan exchange and I am requesting my FIL to involve any eldder or relative from their side  but my FIL is little-extra smart :-) (just like me) and thus not involving anybody from his side.

I have involved relatives/elders from my side so many times and I do not trust my FIL. He has not informed any of his neighbour/relative yet and will not as his daughter is on wrong side.

Cannot I approach any of their relative (without FIL permission) myself to come and help me in this final step of MCD and exchange process?

Will it go against me? can they trap in defamation or any such thing?

Problem is that I dont believe my FIL :-( and he is not involving any relative from his side.

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     17 February 2013

get couple of witnesses while giving back of articles

if possible make audio - video recording.

also make a MOU stating the terms and conditions of this exchange and MCD.


ur FIL's neighoubers / relatives dont have any role in all this.

radhika (housewife)     17 February 2013

hi SAM.... i do not agree tht 90 to 95% of men are innocent.... neither I say 99% women .... its equal ratio.... but i would say 70% of men who give tortute to their wife..... and think for second woman in their life..... some are influenced by their parents pressure.... they dont see tht its their life and house is getting ruined... i hve the same case ... i have spoken to many women ... and they are all have given 4yr, 7, 8, 20 yrs of their life to save the marriage.... i have given 3 yrs .... but i broke when my life was in danger.... man i got married to... ...he refused to continue with me... becuase his father will disown him, becasue i refused to fullfill their monetory demands...... and i had a arrange marriage.... they, who approached us..... 3 yrs is not less... he knows it... how much i have loved him....and i waited for him... but now i dont becasue he will never come to me... becsue he has never loved me, for him i was just his bed partner...wht he told me.... he is enjoying his life now, i becasue i know he is involved with someother woman.... and who is suffering I, my family..... i have been punished for no fault.... i begged, i cried, i cribbed not to break the relation..  but he refused, and i was driven out of my matromonial house by the man i got married to.. i waited tht some day he will realize ... .but no.... he said ,..secnd women will bring money....  every women  have a dream ..a lifetime  partnership and .family, and a peaceful life... thts it..... ..

TO MAN: PLS dont give pain to your wife... its hurts... badly hurts.... wife leaves eveything for you... she changes her self only for you... her desire, her happyness , her dreams her days and her nights,.,ties with her husband...and in return wht she expects ONLY love, respect, and his support... its not to late... save your marrige your relation....

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     17 February 2013

@ Radhika,

Yes painful truth.

ragz hyder (PM)     26 February 2013

I am no expert but the most important thing is to get documentation and a legal trail.

first send a notice to the police station that she is threatening suicide. Try to record when she is threatening. There have been judgements which say threatening suicide is mental harassment.

Dont get fooled if she talks innocently. There are so many psychiatric disorders - ASPD, Bi polar, Schizoid, Schizophrenia, Narcissitic personality disorder, Compulsive personality etc. Try to read them online and see what she could fit. This will atleast equip you to understand why she is doing things that she is doing.

Write a letter and an email to her parents. Send a copy to your lawyer.

Record conversations. Offer to take her to counseling and get an appointment. Write when you are taking it that she is threatening suicide and you want to help as much as you can.

 

if after this she does carry out her threat you have a trail. Record and send her an email that you dont want her to harm herself and that if she feels that way becasue of you please move away and you can support. TALK to a lawyer.


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