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someone (employee)     04 March 2015

To get divorce from my wife because of her cruel behavior.

Hello experts PLEASE HELP ME.

This is Basha. I am muslim.I married to to a christian girl on Sep 2013. before that we were in living to gather for 1 year. so total 2 and half years of relationship. She loves only my money and the luxury what i will provide to her not me. I am just a middle class person but tried my level best to made her happy with my earnings. she shown some silly reasons like religion and freedom and she left me on Dec 2014. Because of her luxury, I and even her father went into debts (her father only told so many times with me). Before marriage even she shown interest in islam & also converted as muslim.

I made so many tries to bring her back but she is not interested in life with me. i also got vexed and we agreed for MCD. She only first started about this MCD (even i don't know about that).  but on Jan 2015, her father got died. Then also I tried to bring her back because I love her so much. 7 years love and 16 months marriage life. But after that also she is not ready to come and live with me and started her own games again without any reasons. Really i got frustrated and now I was fixed for divorce from her as she do not have even small affection on me.

we got married in special act. Even we did Nikah & marriage in christian marriage because of some un-aviodable reasons.they used christian marriage as reference for registration.

suddenly now she is trying to come back to my life (that was just a small tactic not with love), which was already destroyed by her only. I am not in a position to live with her. She is only trying this for my money, I came to know this. How I can get the divorce from her without any issues. She is very intelligent & she dominated & made me her slave in this relationship. I don wanna be her slave anymore. Currently I am not even in a position to maintain her or even for me also because of loans & credit cards used for both my family and my sister's marriage. She do not have love on me. still she is playing games to get money from me during the divorce or me as her slave again which is very bad from her. Please suggest a good platform to get rid from her without any maintenance.


 11 Replies

saravanan s (legal advisor)     04 March 2015

since you are clear about her intentions just wait and let her take the initiative for divorce

SuperHero (Manager)     04 March 2015

@ Saravanan Sir – She wanted to come back. She will not initiate divorce.

@Basha – This is not a legal advice.

If you talk about divorce she will ask for huge money. If you are ready for paying her then talk about divorce.

If you allow her to stay with you, you will become a pauper.

If you are clear and have clarity that you don’t want her in your life.


Then just change your job to a different city and don’t advertise whereabouts you. Even your family members shouldn’t know. She can come and stay at your home as she has rights. Talk to a Lawyer and see what can be done.

1 Like

someone (employee)     04 March 2015

@Saravanan :Thank you very much for quick response. But I am looking for some directions to proceed further from my situation.

@SuperHero: Thank you very much for the response. You have shared some facts like 

"If you allow her to stay with you, you will become a pauper."

I am not ready to live in the situation you have explained the last point because of my financial situation.

Some points still I am unable to clear from my wife is, when I tried like hell, she simply rejected.

Even after her dad's death, i even tried to convey that I will be the next take care person in this world after your dad. Even after that also she is not interested in me.

i am not sure such a long relationship (8 years) will become useless in 2-3 months?

can life will be changed entirely different in 2 days (After she went to her home and telling that I am no more in your life)??

only financial issues are the big issues nowadays in life?

She only started about  MCD & now she only silent now. I even don have any clue on what is there in her mind (even I am not trying to know). I cannot wait too long & I cannot live with her.

the other thread running in this forum ""  was exactly my story & my feelings & even my situations with in laws, but girl mentality was entirely different here.

Praying to Allah all the time to come out of this situation. He only given some peace in my mind.

Please help me someone or advice me with your real life situation.

SuperHero (Manager)     05 March 2015

If you are so much fed up with your Wife, Pray to Allah!!! Sincerely with Love and devotion and then Go talk to a Lawyer and file the divorce case. Inshallah!!!

Some Women are like that only, today they want one thing and tomorrow they want another thing.

One of my friends was joking no Women will be the same yesterday and today.

The problem is with you.

You are sensitive and emotional.

She is a dominating person and she wants to be your slave.

She knows all your weaknesses and she wants to live in a fantasy world I guess. And she won’t listen or budge an inch. The more you say sweet words or bend, she will make you touch her feet too...

You wanted to make your wife Happy at any cost.

Tell me what made you love her? Because of her beauty or just don’t say Love has no logic.

What do you mean I can’t wait too long?

God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. then he made the earth round…and laughed and laughed and laughed…



1 Like

Born Fighter (xxx)     06 March 2015

Its my personal observation..... your wife wants complete freedom and carefree lavish lifestyle, you and her father were funding for the same before marriage, but post marriage she had to compromise with her freedom due to responsibilities & also due to your financial constraints so she left you.


After going to her father things were not the same as she would be enjoying before marriage and it seems the father could not bear the fact that his daughter was on the verge of divorce and he died thereafter thus making it more difficult for her to enjoy her life with monetary constraints, so she again came back to you as she knows she can emotionally fool you and obviously something is better than nothing

Your honey needs MONEY, thats all !!!

Believing what you have written in your post there seems to be no furture in this relationship, Good that you dont have a child or else life would have been more difficult

Dear, engage a good lawyer and fight back. Don't get frustrated, you seems to be a nice guy, now you need to get TOUGH!!

All the Best !

someone (employee)     06 March 2015

@superHero, Thank you very much & I am feeling that my well wisher telling these things in your response.

Really you understood me very well.

I am currently doing the first point what you mentioned "Pray to Allah!!! Sincerely with Love and devotion".

Yes, Problem with me only.

Yes I am very sensitive & emotional hence my parents are more worried about me. 

I am the only son and having 3 sisters. I don have any bad habits at all. Having a good job in IT industry.

I cleared my father's debts & did 2 sister's marriage on my own by taking personal loans & credit cards.

Have good name, respect  in all my friends & relatives.

With this only even girl's side convinced easily even though I am in another religion. She also did all the positives to show her parents about me to prove even financial helps also done by me. She also did good job here.

we met in a message to unknown number which I sent to her instead of my friend. Initially 3 years we only in calls & not tried even to met. we don know each other. Then we met after 3 years & taken a decision to further relationship.

I am really fan to her voice & the conversations with her. She not even a beauty at all because of that only my parents not accepted her even in that scenario. I do not took any dowry or even any financial help as she do not had. as I have given a word to her, i bend to that. I can live my entire life by listening to her sweet voice. Even her face will not comes into my imagination, only her voice. For that reason only now a days I have stopped contacting her.  But I need her company with whole heart which is never possible as no relationship now with her.

As in Islam told that suicide is haram (not permitted), I am still like this, or else I am no more in this world, because everyone know about the pain this will give. Islam told many things regarding life also, but I did not followed, hence now I am facing these situations.

In the initial stage itself my friends & even parents also suggested to not take risk of this much but I have confidence on my love (especially on her) & Allah. This is the big mistake I did in my life.

As I am a kind of person if possible will try to help but never hurt a person. Because of this only I am thinking not to trouble her as her mother is already suffering with high BP & sugar & also she in treatment (from her last conversation) even though she cheated me.

Hence I am unable to take any firm decision for my own, because I am not sure about the consequences. 

I did not wait too long in this situation, because she is not showing any progress. Expecting some action towards our relationship from her (even I cannot bare that action i think so). I cannot play any games because I am not that type person, & even not that much intelligent to play according to the situation. My only strength is Allah.

Saurav (Engineer)     06 March 2015

Good people should stay away from Bad folks be their male and female and even your wife.


If your wife is a bad person.........Get rid of her.


Rarely and rarely and very rarely do bad people becomes good but in 99.999999% of cases that would not happen. It is better for your life that you get rid of her immediately.

1 Like

someone (employee)     06 March 2015

@Born Fighter, thank you very much for your response.

Your first point was absolutely correct & this was already told by my best friend also.

Her father was a good person, he even given me a word that I will make you both happy in that situation. Now he is also not there. He is the only person who knows me very well & will support me always.

I told so many times to her that the problems in our relationship should be solved by us. Please do not disclose to her parents. But she will talk with her mom for every time & will tell all without my knowledge (she is fully talkative person).

From last five years, I am the person taking care about everything for her. Even her parents also left her caring with financial issues & I only supported her & her family also sometimes.

In her home also, she is the decision maker. her mother & brother also will not take any decision. They will listen blindly whatever she tell & not even will show any interest to listen from my side. Hence got frustrated more. 

Providing money for her luxury was not a big matter for me because all the problems will be solved in a year (As I already know about her nature). but she do not have any interest on me. Without love or at least some care, how one can continue this relationship? I am feeling that I am in a false relationship where there is no LOVE at all. Showing some false love & care every time according to the situation.

Even from her side no one have to tell which is good or which is bad. She is the decision maker.

Yes she can fool me emotionally but her main problem was my parents. If this matter was not disclosed to them, she can have a better chances for this in her view. But now everything was closed for her. For this reason only she is insisting to come now. But that was not a big a matter because my parents never say a word to her up to this time. But as she treated me like this, they also fed up with her.

Even she do not have any interest in romantic life also. She will not allow for anything for my happiness in our married life also.

In her last conversation with my sister, she told that she will send the notice after 3 months of her dad's death time (may be in next month). But I can not rely on her words. hence i am approaching you experts that in this situation, which  will the best thing. If I want to file on what grounds I can file the case to get clean divorce from her?

saravanan s (legal advisor)     07 March 2015

my personal advice would also be to get rid of super hero had given you the right advice.i too go with him.

someone (employee)     07 March 2015

Thank you saravanan,

I am looking for the strong grounds to file the divorce case & can fight back for my life.

EXPERTS Please advice.

When I contacted a lawyer, he told that after performing Nikah, she turned to Muslim, and now again she reverted to her christianity, this is a valid ground for Muslim like that he explained according to muslim law. But my point here is we registered our marriage under special act.

Also we can mention like not allowing for happiness in married life,

Not allowing parents to the matrimonal home and avoiding parents to look financially and health wise.

Because of her luxury, I am in debts.

The above points are true, are they valid grounds for cruelty?

She left our home on Dec 2014, four months is a valid time period for desertion?

Your valuable response may give some hopes to my life.

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