Titanic was sinking.
Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards !
Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.
Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.
Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??
Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry.
Boyfriend: That's ok, but who will marry us.
Santa ne apna dog bechna tha. Banta usko kharedna chahta tha.
Banta: Kya ye dog vafadar hai ?
Satna: Hanji, mein isko teen bar pehle bhi bech chuka hu, ye itna vafadar hai ke har bar mere pas vapis aa jata hai.
Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.
My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally.
Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem.
"No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."
A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me... They must be gods!
A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me...
I must be a god!
Funny Sharma was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: YES
Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, clean ing home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.