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ajith (Manager)     11 November 2014

Request advice on divorce

Dear Sir,


I got married in April 2012. But my married life was not smooth from the day one onward.  She used to behave in different way (strangely) occasionally and after sometime she become normal. We had stayed together for only 20 days (not continuously) as i am working in Bangalore and she is working in an IT firm in hometown. Infact she is not residing with my parents from June-July onwards because she dont want to stay with my family in my absence and another reason is her mother is staying alone. So i told her to stay with her mother. I used to travel to hometown minimum twice a month, that time she will come and stay with me, that was our plan. By the time she got a call from an employer, Bangalore, as She was trying to relocate to bangalore. Unfortunately i was sent to Delhi for offical work on that week and i informed here well in advance that i will not available at that time and suggested her to talk to the employer to reschedule the interview. She reached Bangalore with her mother and she called me to find out the routes. 

She had did her interview well. She told me she will stay in her friends house till i back. i reached bangalore the next day and give her call. By the time she had reached my hometown (trivandrum). She told me that she had traced my cell phone and it was showing Bangalore. She was in an impression that i was in town and don't want to meet her. After a month, she came to my house and collected all her belongings and left the house without telling anything to my parents. Her mother was with her and told to my parents that she need some items for office function.

After the Bangalore incident, we dont have much contacts because she dont want to trust me. She was ready to stay with me if i am willing to leave my parents and stay with her family.. 

In November, i went to Trivandrum to talk and resolve this issue in the presence of a lawyer. The lawyer is our family friend. Before that the same day afternoon, my wife and her mother came to my house. we had started conversation regarding the issues. Suddenly she got upset and start make loud noise. She torn her dress and shouting to my mummy. She start rolling on the floor. i was seeing all these things but we got struck. finally she got hold of my mummy's neck and try to break mummys mangalsutra. By the time i had intervened and separated both. She was still shouting and neighbors start coming. We called police and police took her and her mother to station. 

Now she had filed case under 498A, cruelity etc. She told to counselor that i had relationship with another girl also.

Now the case is in court. She is demanding for 10 lakhs to withdraw the case. She had put all us in case (mummy daddy and myself). she had attached my ancestor property to court also demanding for compensations


Please advice.


 4 Replies


She tore her own clothes, tried to break mom's mangalsutra, all this shows her class, this is absolutely 3rd class behaviour and shows her upbringing.  Its not only sufficient that she is college educated, but to lead normal happy marital life, her basic upbringing should be good one.  It appears that you did not do thorough background check of your wife before marrying.  Well what happened cannot be undone.  

As your wife has already quoted a price ie 10 lacs for your freedom, I suggest you start bargaining.  Yes she has filed a dowry case, and if you want to fight the case, your 7 - 8 years will be gone, just like that, and you will also have to face arrest [you and all the co-accused], initial arrest wont be there, but mainly its about the time that you will lose.

Its time to compare how much you will lose, if she has attached ancestral property, you will be losing a great deal.  So see how much you can give, bargain for best price.  If you dont want to give her any money, fight all cases based on merits of the case.  All the best.

SuperHero (Manager)     11 November 2014

·        It is easy to blame or throw the mistakes on others.

·        The scenario you mentioned tells that she is in depression or pyschic disorder, Bad behavior.

·        As Helping Hand mentioned if you want MCD, bargain and get the deal closed. 

·        Or Fight against her allegations and it may take few years..

·        If you still want to live with her, she has to be treated medically, mutual understanding and communication should be good.

·        Record all the situations and panchayats if it happens...

·        In America they say... Time is Money....

·        Money Lost, Nothing is Lost.

·        Health Lost, Something is Lost.

·        Time Lost, Everything is Lost.


·        Good Luck!!! Pray to God

mahendrakumar (marketing)     12 November 2014

most of the above advises are reasonable.

do you have any idea about her past illness?(Psychiatric) as all those behaviours enumerated by you from an educated woman,without any valid provocation,hints to her unbalanced mind.

if you cannot confirm above,you can employ the service of a private detective to find out the details.

If it is proven that,she was a psychiatric patient earlier,it would help your case at the court.(further,if they know that,you have proof of that,they may even withdraw the case or come for compromise).

the above.advice is based on the presumption,that you are completely,innocent.(Have an instrospection as to whether,her behaviour could be attrributed to you in any way)

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     15 November 2014

She seems to be an eccentric.  She might be having an history of mental illness earlier which was known to her mother but suppressed it from you at the time of marriage.  If possible you gather evidence for it and the same should be from a reliable and authenticated source.  Well, since she has already filed a criminal case against you and your parents, enough damage has been done to you, your family's reputation etc., so under this situation, do not give in or budge to the pressure and never agree to any ransom demanded by her.You may ask her to proceed with her unjustified and false case and you challenge the same with the help of a prudent lawyer.  This is another case of women misusing the gender biased law to satisfy their sadistic motives.  You may even file a divorce case against her citing the incidences as events and evidences for the mental cruelty meted out by her. There is no question of taking everything always lying low, stand up and fight it out.

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