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Found the Happiness (Enjoying)     04 February 2013

Pursuit of happiness


My dear Friends,




As you know I had suffered thru DV for 2 yrs and finally she came back and we are happily enjoying our marital life.


As we all had a horrible court fights since so long, but personally what I felt is entirely different. Let me share my findings:


1## All wife’s advocates has very common draft/petition where those advocates just change the names of wife and rest matter & false allegations are almost same (designed on the basis of individual’s story & in artificially fictitious manner) It is like “fill in the blanks - question paper”…….The same thing happens with the husband’s clarification petition & counter attacks.


2## The most surprising thing is that magistrate is entirely aware of such things where whatever is been submitted in court has 0% relevance with the fact. Just for the curiosity I met/interviewed (at personal level) more than hundreds of magistrates (includes retired) they confessed me on this.


3## They have very fixed, traditional & typical way of handling such issues where they intends to balance the situation then whatever time it take.


4## I have a statistics to prove that more than 97% DV/498a cases are dismissed before its final result reasoning either victim is getting remarrying with someone else or re-joining with ex one or getting tired of court fights.


5## As there are lot many unending findings but not writing here as the purpose is only to convey the message that this all this court gaming is total waste of TIME, MONEY & Emotions for both.


The reason why I have posted this article is to attract like-minded people and create online unity where we will share the positive strategies (not legal/technical) in entirely different way, not thru the traditional way how all the advocates & victims are going & making victims life miserable.


Now its time to say “STOP IT”… Because we are not born to suffer this courts pressure for relationships …… Definitely not, As others are enjoying their marital life, so even we too have a right to have all those happiness & hence what is the meaning in fighting in court and suffering from the sleepless lonely nights.


Firstly Decide, Henceforth to whom we are going to listen, to whom we are going to follow, What our advocate is saying? What our parents are saying? What our society is saying? No, not to anybody, now just follow what our heart is saying? We are going to follow the path which gives us feeling of peace & satisfaction, & then whatever may be the scarification for that we shouldn’t have to be worry.


I have also seen the cases while running NGO that most of people says that they are the looser from both the sides either they win the courtgame or not…. So wining the courtgame can really lead us to the destination of happiness or it is hidden somewhere else…. Would you like to find it with me?


Requesting all the LCI Members to come up with some extra-ordinary mind-blowing solutions (Not Legal)….. but the solutions which will help in legal relief but also will lead us to the world of peace & happiness…. You can see in my earlier posts as I have always tried to spread this kind of sparkling light of happiness/smile to all the members.


There are thousands of couples in India those who are fighting everyday horribly but then too they are living together and there are few couples who are fighting in court & making life miserable just because of very small silly/stupid misunderstanding. This is the same country where you can see that a girl studying in college falls in love with someone and runs with him in a midnight without informing her parents, where in the same country any wife is leaving her husband just because her parents provoked, why? We can see that any man can impress already married women (others wife) then the husband suffering from desertion is not been able to impress his own wife, Why? I believe the reason behind that is not in our in-laws or society the reason is to cut off the connect of relation between husband & wife. If that connect is missing then all emotions like faith, love & humanity vanishes and hence if emotions disappears then all the legal false allegations takes place. Here I am trying to find out what is exactly that connect is called? What is that thing for which wife should not leave her hubby or vice versa? We all should study, analyse & spread those kind of awareness in the society so that innocent husbands, innocent wives & most innocent childs should not suffer.


Personally I don’t want to know what has happened in your story & who is guilty? My point is Why it happened? Here on this forum I can see all husbands are blaming wives and wives blaming husbands….. The people who visits on this forum on desertion stage they gets manipulated and turns towards actual legal fights….Can we really drive this forum on a right direction? Question is not only driving this forum, point is to drive the society and elimination of false beliefs from the minds of people, Because I believe only on “HOWEVER MAY BE OUR PAST, OUR FUTURE IS STILL SPOTLESS


So friends lets share your views, because no any writer, philosopher, psychiatrist, doctor or any intelligent person can speak on this but only we can because we are the sufferers.


So let’s create bright the tomorrow ahead.


All the best!

Feel free to call me for any help 9920374232


 5 Replies

Hi Sir, I want to share one of my personal experiencce here. I had a class mate in college and she was in love with a boy( her cousins friend) entire college knew about this and they got married also with their parents consent. After leaving college i never met this girl again. But yes got her wedding invitation through common friends. I completely got busy with my life. I had seen her boy friend couple of times when he came to college. He was friendly with everyone and i spoke to him number of times. After a gap of nearly 2 years i was shopping in a mall and i saw him with his younger sister. I knew his entire family and background. I thought i should say HI to him. But when i dint see my friend ( now his wife ) with him i thought its better to avoid. After one hour again we came face to face. He dint have eye contact with me. I couldnt stop myself and just went to him ...shouted out his name...he turned at me but could not recognise me at one go... but he gave a gentle smile trying to figure out when we met lastly. I thought i shud help him and i said your wife is my friend. As soon as i uttered that...he ran away as if i am police and i was schocked at his behaviour. I came back and thought of contacting few of my college mates.... as i felt i was loosing contacts with everyone and got to know that my friend has filed 498a against this guy............... I was totally shocked ....i contacted her and asked her what went wrong. And people you will be schocked to hear the story. That shows what this generation has turned out into.... the guy and this girl were staying seperate from family and both working and earning good. The boy use to call his mother often and talk to her over phone. My friend dint liked it ...she called her parents they came to their house at and the guy got angry as to why soo many people have come. She just joked now they will see who will save you. He got scared just ran to Police station filed a complaint. Police came and called everyone to police station. SOme police officer asked her to file 498a to make the boy come and talk. She blindly did is history. She also filed DVC and he filed divorce. There ends the story. I tried all ways and means to unite them. All the college gang united and i went to both the parties advocate. The girl now realises and wants to join him. He says 498a ends the story now i dont trust her no question of joining. Lot of meeting and councelling happened. But all in vain. I am not taking anyone's side here but impulsive decisions once taken cannot be fixed. No matter how strong the bond is. Even today they are fighting their cases. After seeing them i felt ....... 498a should not be there at all. And we should rather leave the decision on the judge based on few rounds of evidences and mediation whether the case is fit for 498a or not. Becoz it is causing more damage than security to the society. Hope every girl excercises caution. And if you want to walk out of the relationship please dont file 498a. Becoz the mental impact of this on anyone is horrible. After sometime even the girl will realise and curse herself for misusing it.
1 Like

Never Give Up (Fighter)     04 February 2013

Being optimistic is really good way to live however at the same time we have to be realistic as well.


What you say will work perfectly fine when both wants to stay together putting aside all grudges / ego.


Neither law nor your philosophy can make un-willing spouse stay together or arrive at amicable solution. And in that case, Fighting through becomes only way out to get out of the mess. "I hope now you got the point as why most of the sufferer here talks about fighting".


P.S. Read this as response and not attack as it was described to be for couple of posts.






1 Like

stanley (Freedom)     05 February 2013

@ Author 

Everybody cases is different !! 

And so is a everybodies SItutation Different !!

And so is everybody aware that a court case is a waste of time and money ??

Hence extra ordinary Mind blowing solutions without taking into consideration the situtation or the case are difficult ???

in your situtation your wife came back hence everybodies situtation is not the same :-)

And as Charu lata has conveyed that 498 A  should not be there at all . If these sections werent there like 498 a or Dv than the chances of the couple uniting togather are more as no court case is filed and as you yourself have said that most cases are false . 



Dear All, All i want to convey is that...most of the cases are filed to take revenge or harass. But the best revenge is to make people realise their mistake by forgiving them. Becoz...they will regret when they loose the relationship. And 498a or DVC can only give monetary relief to ladies in case where the case is FALSE. Becoz..i feel if there is genuine harassment and dowry demand, then such victims should go for divorce.And also in such cases maintainence and alimony also looks reasonable. We cannot make someone be in a relationship through force and pressure.Most of the girls are misguided to file 498a. My friend said...she dint knew what this case is till the time she filed it. And she was unaware of the consequences. But ignorance of law is not an excuse. Definitely though the act and 498a and DVC and divorce is the same. But the people seeking relief under these acts and every case is different. Hence even court doesnt give only one solution to all cases. Decision depends on facts and circumstances. there is a saying " There is no bigger court in the world...than a man's own consciousness" Becoz... regret is worst than anything in life!!! @Author.... his case is an living example. When his wife started realising her mistake ....she had regret ...but again she had courage also to admit that. Thats what is more important....and he accepted.... becoz if someone has realised their mistake, then we should encourage them and give them a chance. Otherwise, there will be no difference between you and them. And where there is love...there is no place for ego. And author here has not let ego of going to court for 2 years come in his way of accepting her. Again depends on case to case. But his wife dint file 498a. So that shows some sense was prevailing in her. The bottom line i would say though being a girl. Please dont file cases just for the sake of filing. Becoz ...if this act is misused then genuine people will never get benefitted out of this and they suffer in silence. 498a for me in a sentence is " Use of chemo theraphy to cure fever ". I think crocin does a better job.

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