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suprita (Sr. Application Specialist)     23 June 2010

Psycological cruality of my mother

Its hard to believe but a reality of my life.

I lost my father when i was 4 years old. my mother was not working to earn bread.. so natuarally we were dependent on my metarnal uncles and aunts for our emotional and financial support. Things started getting worsening day by day as their humiliation and demeaning behaviour was so the extreme.

My mother instead of being by my side, she always tried to justify  them (so as to secureherself) which went on for almost 12 years.  Over the course she totally lost her thinking and reasoning ability and accepted to be a paracite on her brothers.

Its been almost 9 years i'm being thrown out of the house,now and then, beaten up and humiliated and declared a schezophrenic!!.. Mother has totally backed off from her concerns and resposibilities from me since 10 yeras.

As a result i have actually turned psycologically ill and whole of my personality and emotional stability is ruined. i have always felt orphened.

Plz dont refer me to a psychiatrist or psycologists or counsellers..

In my viwe being my own mother, being so irresposible that evn if i were molested she adviced me to get adjusted and not to revolt is nothing but mental torture , leading to emotional break down. Thousand other incidences to quote!!!

She has ruined my happiness and my life that it is irreparable.

How can law help me in this?

 



Learning

 10 Replies

Dhawal Bhandari (ADVOCATE)     23 June 2010

STRANGE !!!

Hemant Agarwal (ha21@rediffmail.com Mumbai : 9820174108)     23 June 2010

VERY  VERY  BLUNTLY :


01.  By law, it is not the responsibility of your  "maternal relatives"  to take care of you or your up-bringing.  Hence the law cannot provide you any recourse or relief.

 

 

02.  At the most, IF you are still a  "minor"   as of today, the law entitles you to seek relief for "child molestation and child violence and child labour".
HOWEVER,  this only will serve to "ENGAGE"  your matenal relatives,  for out-of-court negotiations or social extortions (money, house, education etc....).
Negative side is : They may throw you & your mother out, permanently.

 

 

SELFISH  ONE-TRACK  SHORT-SIGHTED THOUGHTS :
03   You said  "mother always tried to justify  them (so as to secure herself)"
YOU failed to understand that she did not try to justify them to "secure herself"   BUT IT WAS TO SECURE  "YOU",   SINCE YOU WERE TOO YOUNG TO DO  "ANYTHING".

 

 

04.  You said   "She has ruined my happiness and my life that it is irreparable"
YOU failed to understand that inspite of ALL ODDS,  she raised you, educated you with the result that you are today, with whatever she could possibly achieve within her limitations.

 

ON THE CONTRARY,  by saying the above,  you are doing a grave and irreparable injustice to your mother by disowning her with your frustrated allegations and short-comings.  Try to see things from multiple perspectives, instead of  self-exaggerating  or self-pity.

 

 

05.  You can achieve anything,  ONLY IF you are humble,  non-arrogant, non-aggressive with lots of patience and understandings for everything besides your own-self.

 

06.  Try to forget everything as of today and start seeing green things (it is monsoon season).

 

Keep Smiling .... Hemant Agarwal

suprita (Sr. Application Specialist)     23 June 2010

Well, Philosophy is always good to advice.

And every rule has an exception. In this context, my mother was atmost selfish and was never willing to address any issues other than hers.

I have been through the trauma since last 19years.

She is least bothered evn im stuck on roads in midnights..

She nevere bothered when i was not keeping good health.

She was not bothered when i was on roads and not having  Rs 5 for food!!!!

She never bothered if i ever get married and settle down or not!

Now, will u advice the same for your daughter if she is being declared schezophrenic at the age of 19 for no fault of hers

Parth Chandra (none)     23 June 2010

Please check your Personal Message.

DR.SANAT KUMAR DASH (Eye Specialist)     23 June 2010

Suprita..........It   is    a     very   precarious       situation   &    you    R   in     very    bad   condition.     Only    GOD    can    help   you.


(Guest)

U have asked the same que. in last 2 months here in LCI but in different ways and I say that you take even good advise as personal and if there is no advise given then also it is negative for you and you are moving from one loop to another loop in life.

I have also advised you last month and today after re-reading your this message I will ask you one simple question since you took Hemant's practical advise too personal ;

Que.: What is wrong with  seeking help from professional psychiatrist or psycologists or counsellers ?

Don't you want solution to your present problem? If not then keep coming back here with different question headings but same matter asked again and again, you may not still be satisfied by professionals answers beze that is not the answer you are searching here. 

After all the solution is within you, only thing needed wihin you is developing "analytical skills for quality of life", though your work title after your name says something about being Sr. Application Scientist but when you apply applications don't you analyse them  ?

Rgds

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     24 June 2010

what was your mother's problem, we understand.

she was simply helpless at that time.

i think now you earning good. make your good family with your mother.

might be your mother was not in a position to extend her helping hand to you but you be an umbrella in her last days.

restore your mental peace. make a good friend circle. talk to them and do not bring your personal sarrows before them, instead of it try to know what the problems they are facing.

Prathap Reddy (High Court Advocate)     24 June 2010

Why are you think too much on this matter , if you  r major and well educated then search for a good job start leading your own life, then see wheather your mother attitude changes, i agree with few of my friends as she mit be doing this all for you ?

but why cannot you stand on your feet and lead happy life 

Hemant Agarwal (ha21@rediffmail.com Mumbai : 9820174108)     24 June 2010

 

Originally posted by :suprita
"


Now, will u advice the same for your daughter if she is being declared schezophrenic at the age of 19 for no fault of hers

 

"

 

PLEASE  ABANDON  YOUR    "ESCAPISM"   ATTITUDE

 

 

IF & whenever, you stablise yourself in life,  you may think of asking the same question to YOUR OWN daughter  and she would answer you appropriately,  which  "MAY" satisfy you  AND if still not satisfied, then you can presume that you no longer need to be satisfied OR  that you are past the age of getting satisfied of anything.

 

Keep Smiling .... Hemant Agarwal
 

RAKHI BUDHIRAJA ADVOCATE (LAWYER AT BUDHIRAJA & ASSOCIATES SUPREME COURT OF INDIA)     01 July 2010

Dear Suchitra,

I want to discuss upon some personal questions with u.  U can call me at 9871158578


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