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chaitanya (prop.)     27 August 2011

Physical problem in wife

I got married 7 months back. On the first night i was very excited and made nice arrangements but all my excitement vanished as i discovered my wife had a strange anatomy. She had a raised bone (a few inches below her navel) which was very inconvenient during physical contatc. Despite that i tried and discovered she had an obstructive structure inside her body which made it impossible to consummate. After that i tried a few more times but it was just impossible to consummate. So slowly i began to lose interest , but my wife could
not take it. She became aggresive and forced me mentally and physically. She  kept quarelling with me all the time. . She stoppped doing any household work and started harrasing my old mother who is a widow and suffers from heart problem, sugar problem ,knee  pain and a dislocated shoulder . Despite that my mother attempted to keep her daughter in law happy and would do household work and  cook food  for her and serve her the food which my wife would just push away . My wife almost hit me too on an  occasion and i controlled myself from hitting her back as i feel in india the law is more to the favour of women and many women use it for false implications.
She would lock herself up in her room and threaten my poor mother that she would commit suicide as her physical needs(s*xual) were not being satisfied. My mother would get scared and she got all the more ill (her hypertension and sugar problem worsened). Since then I too am in state of depression. I have lost interest in my computer business. From the past 7 months , my business has declined and now i am financially dependent on my mother's pension. I I just dont want to talk to anyone and sometimes i feel like ending my life. 2 months back my wife called her parents and brother  to discuss matters(fight) on a day when my mother was very ill. I requested her to call them the coming day but she remained insensitive to my mothers health. Her family members came and abused and threatened us. (my mother remined bed-riiden for 20 days after the incident). Ultimately they said that they are taking their daughter and would get her back after getting her medically examined. Its been more than 2 months now and my wife didnt return and they didnt even make a phone call .

In fact now i dont want her to return anymore. All the time she was here there was so much of tension   I just want to end the nightmarish marriage as i have lost my mental peace . I fear that if she comes back again she would again start harrassing me and my family and either drive me to suicide or cause a heart-attack or stroke to my mother or falsely implicate us in 498 . Kindly advise how i can seek annulment/divorce. and safeguard my mother and myself from any false implications.


Best regards

 



 16 Replies

Gundlapallis (Advocate)     27 August 2011

if u can prove its impossible to consummate the marriage because of her abnormal anatomy you can apply for immediate divorce.

1 Like

Alok Tholiya (self employed)     27 August 2011

GVundlaji is right. Have u taken her to a gyneac??? Have u  made doc prepare report on her condition? Have u talked to her relatives on this?V. imp is were u aware of her condition before marriage?

U need to collect a mdical report that this condition of hers pre exists and file case on her family too.

 

Acyally premarital chech up of both and declaration by both parties before solumnising the marriage must be made leagal and so also registration of marriage.

Immediately rush to a qualified marriage counselor / govt body and register the facts before they file a false case on u as retaliation.

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     27 August 2011

You should have got her check up done when she lived with you,so as to know what kind of obstruction it is,instead of wasting time in stress,tension and in other useless things.You mum also suffered consquently.

 

When you have waited for so many yrs. for the golden night,what was wrong in waiting for a liittle more time,to get this blockage removed,just in case it is treatable?

 

I guess it could be a rigid hymen,which can be surgically removed.This is only my guess.A gynae can diagnose in greater detail.

 

If it's a rigid hymen,it's not her fault because this is how God has created her.Some women don't even have a hymen b4 marriage,and hymen of some women break easily and painlessly with a lil effort only.

 

 

As one member rightly opined in 1 post yesterday,a gynae will never do an internal examination of an unmarried woman because it's against medical ethics.So you cannot blame her as to why she did not know of any obstruction before marriage.

 

Also,she cant know of this if she never had s*x b4 marriage?Did you expect her to have s*x b4 marriage,to be sure that she's capable of s*x?

 

She is showing aggression because of not getting s*x,this is the biggest sign that she is psychologically potent.

 

 

 

Now also it's not too late.It is wiser to get her treated for removal of blockage,if any.

 

It's wiser to spend a few thousand Rs. on such treatments and resume s*x life after a few weeks,instead of spending lakhs on lawyers,and several yrs. in litigation.

So you decide,which one is more convenient for you.

1 Like

A. A. JOSE (LAWYER; LEGAL ADVISER/CONSULTANT& TRAINER)     27 August 2011

Roshini has thrown light to several diamensions  and I  am of the view that you many not get any better advise than this, if you are sincere enough to help your wife diagonise her problem and save your family life too.
 

1 Like

Gundlapallis (Advocate)     28 August 2011

Dear Roshini

 

Your anatomic assumption may be right but your advice:

 

It's wiser to spend a few thousand Rs. on such treatments and resume s*x life after a few weeks,instead of spending lakhs on lawyers,and several yrs. in litigation.

Is that all that matters?  the wisdom is lying only in choosing to spend thousands or lakhs? and the funniest part - spending thousands on doctors and Lakhs on advocates !!!!  I wish such a golden time should come for advocates :)

 

The descripttion of anatomy made by the advice seeker may rule out your assumption.  But anyways prudence is in taking medical advice before drastic conclusions. 


(Guest)

Roshini,

 

You are totally unfair to the writer here.

 

You have said that "I...,it's not her fault because this is how God has created her" execuse me .... it may not be  her fault.. but it is certainly not boys and her family fault.  If she has bone portruding  below naval point and which is limiting intercource ----  by no count ,boy should suffer for that.

 

For sure, girl and his family hided this fact from boy and his family, and that is a crime.. Every boy has a  right to get a wife with whom he can enjoy life.. and  this guy has been  duped by girl side.

 

You are questioning that why boy did not the girl to doctor?... let me ask you a proper question.. why girl did not ask to be taken to a doctor, is modern day woman does not know that they should consult a doctor, wht girl parents were doing?

 If you feminist continue doing what you have been doing,....  holding boy  and boy side responsible for everything, even when  mere common sense says that it is a pure case of duping and trickery by girl side .. you will continue loosing your credibiluty as it has been happening in recent times.

 

Crime is a crime, irrespective of who does it. 

Alok Tholiya (self employed)     28 August 2011

I feel that hiding vital facts which can affect marital life, faith in each other, hiding major disabilities be it physical or mental or relationships is all fraud, cheating and spoling life and expectations of other person be it wife or husband.

It is important that law is made to punish such frauds and cheater and premarital check up is made compulsory.

But as present situation stands I can only sympathise with as a majot wrong has been done to u. Can u pl. take ur wife to a doctor. Either find cure or get report that she has a problem which will not let u have physical relations and take next step.

1 Like

chaitanya (prop.)     28 August 2011

Thanks to all the contributors.

1. when my wife was here and i tried to take her to a doctor, she accused me that i was trying to declare her medically unfit.  i have no medical document so far to support my complaint. later her parents came and took her saying they would get her medically examined. today her mother and sister came to our place and said she was medically fit l but they did not bring/show the medical certificate. In fact  accidentally the girl's mother said that they had got  made  a report in which the girl had a blue mark on her arm and which had my fingerprints(how absurd) suggesting that she had been beaten, while i hadnt even  touched her those days . this shows that they are fabricating false documents. from their discussion today, i realised that the girl and her parents can lie to any extent.

i am feeling so harrased . is there no place where i can complain. if i get the girl here trying to reconcile, i fear she can fabricate me and my mother. so far i have been fearing social disgrace and have been keeping my mouth shut and bearing all nonsense.. in fact

Vijay Kumar (Advocate)     28 August 2011

Let me share with you a case in which the bridegroom discovered on the first night that his wife was having hair on her bosom like men have. The boy lost interest and the marriage remained unconsummated. He had to face 498A and finally divorce after payment of money.

  He could not reconcile with this strange situation. I still wonder whether his reaction was natural or he was over-sensitive. 

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     29 August 2011

Originally posted by :Vijay Kumar
"
Let me share with you a case in which the bridegroom discovered on the first night that his wife was having hair on her bosom like men have.
"

 

 

Frankly speaking,this can be disgusting:)

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     29 August 2011

why did u not see a gynec is the biggest q u have to face.

Democratic Indian (n/a)     31 August 2011

It appears the author of this thread instead of visiting s*xologist or gyneacologist along with his wife is trying to needlessly find legal solutions to a non legal problem.


The first problem he has mentioned in that his wife has a bone "few inches below navel". I cannot think of any other bone that one can feel few inches below navel other than the pubic bone. If the person has healthy, thick bone structure and very little body fat, the pubic bone can appear as high and protuding. It cannot be called a problem under any stretch of imagination. When having vigourous s*x with such lady, in typical man on top missionary position may cause pubic bones of both partners, to constantly and repeatedly hit each other. It can cause pain and discomfort to pubic bones during extended s*xual session. The problem has a simple solution, use countless other s*x positions like woman on top, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl or doggy style etc. etc. where the pubic bones of both partners to not hit each other.


The second problem mentioned by him could be caused by either a thick hymen or vaginismus. Both are treatable medical conditions. So my personal advice, please spend your time, money and effort to improve your relationship rather than spending your time, money and effort needlessly in courts.

1 Like

v.k derashri (INCHARGE, LEGAL CELL)     05 September 2011

I agree with Roshni, you should try to convience her and satisfy her instead of going to court  at this stage. you should make sincere efforts otherwise be ready. for last option after collectiing documentary evidence to prove the facts. vderashri

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     06 September 2011

democratic indian is very right. there is no such abnormality reported and more so it cannot cause any obstruction, u need a gynec not lawyer.

however to safeguard your legal interests simultaneously collect proofs electonic and audio thru spycams and audio recordings to prove how they are trying to create fabricated evidence.

try to solve it amicably and take her to gynec along with her mother if possible.


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