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Dsingh (Tech Sr)     03 July 2009

NRI Divorce advice


I got married to the girl in Chandigarh, India on 19th March 2009 and now we are at a stage where her family wants us to separate. It all started with girl and her family accusing me of not giving her enough jewelry at the functions and putting her down in front of her relatives.

After 2-3 days of marriage teh girl told me that she has a credit card bill to pay and i should take care of that, I objected and told her that i am responsible for her finaces after 19th March and its her or her family responsibility and will not pay the bill, she somehow agreed and the bills were paid but after that there were one issue over the other and they all were related to money. Sometimes we should divide the expeses for teh functions and sometimes i should have paid for this and that.

I just thought it was normal and ignored it in the beginning and I came back to Canada on April 1st 2009 but the tussles kept on going between us and this delayed me sponsoring her for the permanent residency in Canada as I was unsure of her family motives. The issue of me not applying for her permanent residency lead to an argument with her mother and brother and things started to look ugly. The girl told me on 15th of April that she is pregnant and I asked her to move to my parent’s house in Chandigarh. She moved to my parents house but kept on threatening me with abortion as she knew that I will do anything to save the child but there were arguments between us on one thing or the other.   On 23 she told me that she will like to visit her parents and her brother will come to pick her up on next day and next day she left for her house with her brother.

On 26th April her family with a goon type guy came to our house and threatened my mother that they want all the items given as gift or else they will call police and file a police complaint for dowry harassment.  With the mediation of our neighbors goods were return and noted down on the plain piece of paper with signatures of all people present there.

After that her brother started sending emails to my brother that we should return them the money spent on marriage immediately or else my sister and mother will be in trouble. We asked one of my uncle to intervene and get the mess sorted out and in the mean time my brother asked the girl about the pregnancy and she accepted that due to her health she got the child aborted. I am never updated about that till date. Throughout this process I’m out of the loop and no communication has taken between her family and me. It’s only her family talking with my uncle or initially few emails were exchanged between her brother and my brother.

Now we are stage were we want to file for the mutual divorce but I can't come down to India as I have already taken vacation for my marriage and have spent a lot on this marriage. I have loans to pay and if I have to come to India, I will loose my Job, I would like to know on how you and your team can help me in getting over this peacefully and amicable without me coming to India. Also they are demanding money for the marriage expenses and I want it to be either divided equally or else I shouldn't have to pay because I have also spent money on this marriage.



 3 Replies

Raman ( )     03 July 2009

Let me frankly ask you here a question, Mr. Dsingh ...

By the words ".. and I came back to Canada on April 1st 2009 but the tussles kept on going ..", I would have to assume that you're already in Canada before marriage. If I am correct then am also surprised to see how you had missed the option of applying PR status for the girl under fiancee category which normally 90% Indians know about it, in Canada. Because, it would normally take a year or two, to get the PR status for the spouse. In either options you have showed no eagerness to apply her for the visa.                                                                       Anyhow, our Advocates here definitely have an idea on what could be done in your case. All I know is, you must be in India to appear in the court for the first time. Later, your people can continue the case (if unsolved) w/o your presence. I think, you may want to convince the other party for a period of time until you are safe with your job OR you may want to discuss this with your employer because normally employee would get leave about a week time if there is any death/divorce happened in his/her family ... I am just giving you a clue but am not sure about it.                                                                                     I too am holding Canada citizenship currently. Good luck to you.  

Dsingh (Tech Sr)     03 July 2009

 Unless i am married to a girl, why will I apply for her visa or PR. She and family only wanted me to apply for PR and In my opinion what has been done is been done, I just want to safeguard my family in India. They want money and trouble me for not sponsoring for her to Canada.

How can I avoid paying sum huge sum of money to them and also get a divorce while being in Canada. Traveling for me is out of option as of now, i know Indian law system, and the delays, even if I take my leaves I doubt they will let me come back within one week.

Dsingh (Tech Sr)     03 July 2009

 Sorry i presses the wrong icon by mistake, i mean to say thank you for your response.

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