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Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     28 February 2011

Meet these expert counsellors 2 save your breaking marriages


Welding the wedlock

Counsellors at Urban India Ministries believe in keeping a marriage alive, at a time when divorce seems the easy way out.

Marriages are meant to last. This is the guiding philosophy of Urban India Ministries. Counsellors here are on a mission to save the family an institution that requires the husband and wife to be equally committed. "With equal earning capacities, many young couples are ready to call off their marriages if things are not going their way," says P C Mathew, family and marriage counsellor at Urban Ministries.

Eight per cent of the calls they receive here, are from couples aged between 25 and 40 years. "Very often, both parties are not willing to see the problem through and it is tough to save a marriage, because resolution is possible only if both parties are willing. And more often than not, they come to us only when the issue has gone out of their bounds," confirms Mathew.

So, counsellors at the Ministries also work with individuals who are divorced, to rekindle the desire in them to build a family. "I recently counselled a young guy who was divorced. He and his wife were married for one-and-half years, and for whatever reason, his wife wanted to call off the marriage," says Baiju Mathew, also a counsellor at the Ministries. On investigating the matter, Baiju found that the girl had cultural issues __ her style of living did not match that of the guy's. "I spoke to this guy about the importance of marriage and made him understand that although he wasn't aware of it, he too needed to make adjustments. This was a divorce recovery counselling session and the guy is now willing to remarry," explains the counsellor.

The Urban India Ministries was established 12 years ago to address the issue of failing marriages among urbanites. Over the years, the Ministries has also chosen to work with the underprivileged sections of society, where marriages are fast falling apart.

Counselling trainee at the Ministries, Benny Varghese is currently talking to an addict from the underprivileged section. "His marriage was falling apart because he's alcoholic. His wife was threatening to leave him and he had no family support because they did not endorse his alcoholism. After repeatedly visiting his home and explaining to his family that drinking is like any other disease and needs to be treated, he now has support from those quarters. He is slowly getting over his addiction and his wife is happy," says Benny, about the Ministries' attempt to patch-up breaking marriages in slum areas as well.

The urban citizen's need for family counselling is very important now. "Spiritualism keeps Indians optimistic. I simply refuse to accept that things can't be worked out between a couple," signs off Mathew.

The Urban Ministries

No. 608, 6th Cross, 7th Main,

HAL 3rd Stage

Bangalore 75

Helpline: 41469999


 6 Replies

superfast munnabhai (trainee)     28 February 2011


Is this a marketing stunt!!!




From where do you (and there is one more lady) get energy to keep posting all your these redundant threads!!!



Please do not mind my frank opinion!!!

But we people keep looking for relevant and useful information only!


I am sorry but !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I feel simply dejected of all this.

There is a simple rule that even parents shouldn't be getting into the problems of any couple then councellors kya cheej hai!!!!!!!!!!!



Councellors speak in favour of person who pays them!!!



sabka pet bharne ka dhanda hai!!

whether its a vakil , judge or  a councellor!!!



Ye bakwas band karo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for God's sake.



1 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     28 February 2011

@ munnaibhai


u r really a munna(kiddish)


how can it be a marketing stunt?this is a newspaper article which i posted here.


if u dont like this thread,dont visit it.


if u think these counsellors are corrupt,kindly sue them and this paper which wrote abt them.


yes i will post all the useful info in future also...any problem?


seems u are against saving a marriage,otherwise u will get so many opportunities to have live ins,when a marriage breaks



@ munnabhai-

I know councellors or lawyers work for money but councelling has really helped to save some marriages......

Councelling is done in extreme cases where marriage is about to break........then what is the problem in once trying the councellor?


And who told you parents should not get into problems of their child?

Haven't you heard parents are also called GUARDian......if one of the partner is doing wrong then his/her parents should guard them and teach them the meaning of marriage.....but it is only possible when parents are also wanting to save their children's marriage.


aur jahan tak pet bharne ya dhande ka sawaal yeh baat sahi hai.........sab apna paisa banane mein lage lene ke liye manager ko ghush dena parta hai.....FIR likhwane ke liye kuch dena parta hai nahi to daroga ji report nahi mein manmani fees lete hain.......

to dhanda to logo ne bana hi diya hai......par tumse usse kya karna hai.........bas apna kaam nikalwao........corruption ko mitana hamare tumahare jaise aam logo ki bas ki baat nahi hai.




Sushant Singh (Private Service)     01 March 2011

Hey, thanks for this post was just skimming through it and I realised this is PC, somebody who I worked in a Christian youthgroup long back in the year 1990-1992. PC is a very good motivational speaker and so is his wife. Disdt know they were into counselling as well. Im going to try and contact them, and make a last ditch effort. After all I need to give peace a channce for the sake of my daughter. Thanks again for the post.

For those who think its a marketing gimmick, pls. ignore it. I know the guy and I know what he is capable of, God has given him immense talent and in tough circumstances he might as well be a angel. Doesnt matter what faith you practice, if there are issues for people in Bangalore, do get in touch with Urban India Ministries.

Thanks Roshini for the post, I'll just print it rightaway !!

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     01 March 2011

thanks sushant..


i am v. happy to note that my post is helping someone...


all the best for for future!!

Supratim Paul (E)     01 March 2011


It is good to think of saving marriages kind of saying trying to add the broken mirror. But in Indian society the girls are fully dependent on the well wishers and her parental family and she considers her parental family prior to her husband. This in turn result of in-laws of the husband to interfere.I feel after marriage the female must not be dependent on her parental home and well wishers to depend on her descision but instead must be confined to husband and wife only.If the interference increases then problem starts.Which can be one of the cause ?       


Gone are the days in URBAN INDIA where women are abla nari and men is the Gabbar. Now a days men and women are equal in all respect but the problem is that the laws of India are not equal in that respect and as a result many females take advantage of it and misuse it and try to extract money,property of husband even though she might be earning.  


The most important is that the rights for a URBAN men and women must be same as per law and in all respect then only things will be ok.


Also adjustments among the couples must be to some extent and not beyond or else the marriage will look burden to the other.


Also one important thing don't extent your discussion of any of the spouse extent to the parents level.What ever discussion you do must be confined to them only and not pass to any parental side then I feel problems will be less.The more interference the more problem. if the couple is notable to decide on any thing or do anything then must get extented help else not.


One advice could be marry a boy or girl with your compatibility ... may be in the same community,language,culture,food habits,customs ...and then other compatibility where either one need not do to much adjustments after marriage. For Boys - It is not necessary that girls must look beautiful but must feel to fit as better half for u and same for Girl - Not necessary to see boys who are well setteled but must also look beyond that. Think twice you do. 


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