I am married for last ten years.It was an arranged marriage.My husband and I are professional qualified.
We stay in a separate city.My inlaws are in another city.My problem started around five years back when my husband started having an extra marital affair.I questioned him and for the first time he hit me.He than called his parents who arrived by flight next day.He denied having any affair and his parents also took his side.They accused me of wrongly accusing their son.They then asked me to come with them to that ladys house and have a talk with her.I refused.My inlaws then called my parents and shouted on them saying your daughter is accusing our son.I was so terrified that i convinced myself that my husband hit me because i accused him wrongly.However tHe refused to hings started getting worse from then.He started verbally and physically abusing me.I was convinced of his affair but afraid of confronting him again without any proof.So on the outside we continued living like normal happy couple.
This lady was working in the same company as my husband.We are members of a religious community and this lady also belongs to same religious community.She was having problems with her husband and living separately from her husband since 2005.We were meeting every sunday.It became a torture to see her every sunday.She would let me know in subtle ways that she is in relationship with my husband.
I Conceived one year later.When i told my husband about my it he wnted an abortion.I refused.My torture started since that day.He refused to take me for ultrasounds and tests.Became emotinally aloof,would not talk to me,refused to buy medicines for me..in my fourth month he called his parents..they showed no happiness about me conceiving..i was put on bedrest..yet i was expected to cook for them..they would not talk to me..three of them would go to market without telling me...do shopping...would not show me the things purchased(they were buying for my sister in law and her three year old son)...i kept quiet..they stayed for 20 days and left.Then my father in law went to my parents house and asked my parents to take me back.He said that during their 20 day stay once when he came to the drawing room i was lying down on a sofa and didnt get up,and thus offended him.So they can not keep me in their house.However my family intervened and he was pacified.I delivered a male child.My inlaws didnt come.My husband showed little pleasure.It was at this time i learned that my husband is indeed having affair with this lady and he is serious about this.
However i could not do anything.I lonely and hurt and had a baby to look after.He started hitting me,picking up fights,verbally abusing me and family...would not give me money to buy stuff for baby..would complain about the expenses of baby...when my son was 6 months old he called ten family members from his family..learning this i went with my son to my mothers house..he booked the tickets...i told him i will be back in ten days..from my mothers house i called him to ask if i could prolong my stay...he shouted on me and said dont come back...he refused to answer my calls...i was confused...i then approached our religious community members.Upon their intervention i came to my housbands house...however in this process i had to stay in my mothers house for 4 months..In front of the religious community members he accused me of running away from the house with all the jewellery and that i insult my inlaws..i am not mentally stable and all sort of false allegations...at that point of time i was lonely,depressed and afraid of divorce due to a small 6 month old child..i was not even working..i was angry with other women and wanted to save my marriage.
For last three years i am in my husbands house living a life which i cant even call life.My husband openly carries out his relationship with that other women.He has admitted to the affair and said i will not be able to proove it in court.He has employed the strategy to troble me so much that i leave the house on my own because he has no grounds for divorce.My friends and family were in favour of me staying with him for the sake of child.
My inlaws have acceptedf that other lady and through their phone calls i have figured out that he intends to marry her after driving me away.I was angry and decided that i will continue to stay in the house and not give in to his torture.
One and half year back after beating me he threw me out of the house.Neighbours called cops.Police arrived but i didnt register complaint .Cops went back after councelling us.He behaved normally for next few months.
However after that i have noticed that my son and i keep falling sick...we develop nausea and vomitting.I am afraid of foul play but i have no proof .Once my son developed nasal bleeding.Next day morning i overheard him talking to someone and saying"...he is still breathing"..what kind of father would say this about his own son...from that day i am very very scared...but problem is how to approach authorities with out proof..
I am scared of the lady with whom he is having affair.When we were going for religious meet on sunday she would give threatning glances to my son.One year back her friend forcibly snatched my son from me pretending she is just trying to show affection to child...she then fed him toffee before i could realize what is happening..my son developed burns on his lips next day..doctor said they were chemical burn..however in his priscripttion he didnt write this and just gave symptomatic treatment..i told my husband indirecty that it could be because of something toxic fed to him...he shouted on me and hit me and started yelling you are mad.I have stopped going to religious meeting since then.
Around 8 months back i noticed that my son is passing something black in his stools.I told my husband.He shouted on me.I noticed that the maid who was working was trying to be around my son unnecessarily when i was not watching. I Also noticed that when she was in the house she would give information about the house and me to some lady on phone,and when i questioned her she would give vague answers...once she opened the fridge and i walked in...she was sheepish..said she was looking for some vessel...she was not allowed to open fridge as she coming only to sweep,mop and clean utensils....next day she asked if my son drank the milk? i was becoming very suspicious...three days later i saw her open her purse and take out a small packet made of newspaper..i walked in the kitchen and she immediately closed it..it was a regular practice that she would leave her purse on a table kept in lobby near the entrance gate...that day she carried her purse in kitchen(i suspected that the lady with whom my husband is having affair has gotten friendly with her).Next day my son developed nasal bleeding.The very next day i overheard him talking to someone and saying"...he is still breathing"..what kind of father would say this about his own son...from that day i am very very scared...but problem is how to approach authorities with out proof. I have removed that maid.
When i went out with my son few days later two men on bike tried to snacth the bag from me.After that when ever i would go out someone would accidently knock me or push me.Once i went with my son in auto.As i was paying the auto guy he tried to snatch my son from me.I ran inside the mall.I told my husband.He said i am going crazy and started shouting that i am mad.
Six months back his mother came.They asked me to come to market with them.Hopwever they took me to a psychiatrist.There they said i am mad,i imagine that my son and Myself are being attacked and poisoned.However i denied and the counceller asked us to come back.we didnt go to the councellar again.
My mother in law then asked our neighbours to say to police that i am mentally unstable.The neighbours refused and informed me to be careful.
I am still in my husbands house...living in terror...i have restricted going out alone...i am always on guard..if i approach authorities with all these incidents will they believe me without proof or my husband will say i am insane
Few more facts abut him and his family
1-they are very well connected and one of his family member is a very high ranking official in police
2-financially very well off
3-lady with whom he is having affair is also in top MNC in good position.her husband is very happy that she got involved with my husband as he was staying separately from her and wants divorce.So he has become friendly with my husband.If i will register complaint against that lady her husband will back her up saying there is nothing of that sort.That lady and her husband have recently started living together and i am sure this is just an arrangement to eyewash and proove in court that there is nothing between her and my husband and is back with her husband.
4-Religious community members are in favour of my husband
5-over the past few years my husband has been scheming and plotting.After beating me he would tear his cloths and take his pictures.He then posted them on flicker and told his family that i beat him.
6-if the house is dirty he would take pictures and post them on flicker for his family members to proove i am not good enough for him and dont take proper care of house.
7-over the last one year my husband has threatened to kill me 8 times during his verbal insults
My family is not like his,we are law abiding citizens..there has never been a police compliant or divorce in my family...everyone is shocked at the incidents..they are scared and worried..i was hoping he would ask for divorce and i will agree and escape alive with my son from this torming life and inlaws and his mistress..however they have started saying they dont want divorce,they just want that i should live with my son in my mothers house.
My family feels as long as i am in his house he will not hurt me...once i am out of the house my son and I would be more vulnerable. What should i do?shall i continue living with my husband or go to my mothers house...my only concern is safety and survival of my son and myself.