How can an rcr help me in getting my wife back to my home?

IT Professional

 

Hi,

 

We got married in January, 2013. It was an arranged marriage (in Rajasthan) but I could not get the marriage registered as my wife has got no ID proof so I had to run from one place to another and then I had to come back to New Delhi. So, we started living here and for about 42 days we stayed together until her father came without informing me and took her to her parental home assuring me that she would be back soon. It is notable that my wife always misbehaved with me with respect to marital intercourse and never allowed me to establish any physical relationship with her. This was severe mental harassment for me but I still continued to convince her in various ways and did my best to make her feel loved and cared. Still she was under the bad influence of her mother who was actually misguiding her and my wife was not allowing me to have marital intercourse with her.

 

So, one night there was a fight between us that there was no physical relationship between us and it was causing me much disturbance and grief. She had been misbehaving with me in many ways such by holding my color and threatening me that if I pressurized her for s*x then she would call her mother and then would not come back to me. So, I was staying silent and did not tell her parents about this. Though my aunt who introduced this girl to me, was aware of it and she had asked her father to visit there and make his daughter understand the importance of marital relationship. But her father never visited my home nor my aunt's as he knew that it was already planned by his wife i.e. my mother-in-law.

So, that day also she was raising her hands on me and this was enough and for the first time I could not control myself and slapped her on her shoulders.

 

She told her parents and then her father came with my uncle and took her. Since 1st March my wife has been with her parents and her parents keep saying that if I talk to any of their relatives then they will send me behind the bars, and that they want their gifts back and are not willing to send their daughter back to me. They also alleged that I used to come home drunk and would beat her every day and that I used fight every day and would treat her badly. All this was not true because until now I have not taken any single drop of alcohol. I only slapped her once and that too after receiving such bad treatment from her. What husband would tolerate his wife's beating him? I did that. I admit. Because I loved her so badly. I thought she would be fine in some months and would understand the meaning of marriage and love one day but it seems she is going to take a long time to do that. 

 

Now, what choices do I have? An advocate is going to file an RCR for me. Will this help me get my wife back? I have no intentions of leaving her or divorcing her. My mother-in-law and her daughter i.e. my wife can't play with my emotions and social image like this. They must learn a lesson and be obliged to let me have my wife back to me.

I also want to state here that she told me she was 12th passed with 1st division and was a student of an English Medium School. However, her parents never showed me any mark-sheet of her 12th grade. Though, after marriage her father did give me a Xerox copy of her 10th standard which shows that she did it from National Open School, New Delhi from a correspondence mode. I am not going to argue on this point because it really does not matter to me but they have certainly cheated me somehow or the other way.

Please help me.

 

Thanks,

DK.

 

 
Reply   
 
Bangalore

RCR is just a piece of paper.


No court in India cannot force your wife to come back to you.


But you can file divorce based on desertion.


Here I'd like to know, after going through so much WRT your wife's nature, behavior, why do you still want her back?

 
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Advocate

Yes, RCR is just a twilight to Divorce, and what is the use of making a home by decree of the Court through the edict of law. A home is made by heart not by the edict of Law. I entirely agree with helping hand opinion.

 
Reply   
 
IT Professional

Because I LOVE My Wife. I know she has got an innocent heart and that it is her mother who is misguiding her. Her mother used to beat her every day and night and I witnessed it one day and resisted so she got mad on me and I think she took an oath to take revenge on me. Exactly that is what is happening. My wife never used her brains. She can easily be brainwashed. Why lose a relationship if one party is under the evil influence of somebody else? Why not try doing things that can bring about changes in that person? I am doing exactly that. I have respect for her parents. This is my sanskar. But in the end, I would say, I love her no matter how she behaves now. She used to be just nice before marriage. I can't ever forget this.

 

Or else, I am a pagal lover and husband. I am proud to say that.

 
Reply   
 
Advocate

If your wife can be brainwashed by her mother why not you? I think there is something seriously wroung with your wife, always listening to other and not you? Better get a wife who listen and trust you. Remember, we remember the past but we love the future, so don't surrender yourself completely with your feelings for tyour wife, and let your head be governed by reasons not emotions. Now days, we dont live in the world like the film Quyamat se Quyamat tak.


Total likes : 1 times

 
Reply   
 
IT Professional

Dear N.K. Assumi,

 

You are right. I could also brainwash her. Just 10 days before that fight, she called me while I was in office. She was crying and saying sorry to me for all her misbehaviour. I was touched and felt that she was now becoming a better wife. Can you imagine what I said on the phone? "Physical relationship though is important for both of us and you need to understand this but I am more happy to have you by my side. Don't cry. I am coming home early in th evening." But her changed nature lasted for some 2 days only and she was the same person again.

 

Even while writing this and thinking of her changed nature is making me cry. God, I am in office! You're right with respect to my emotions. So, to be honest, I have consulted a Psycaitrist today and would be seeing the doctor this weekend so that I can find sleep and can focus on work. It's been 81 days since I have not seen her. Exactly double the amount of time we spent together.

 
Reply   
 
Advocate

Best wishes to you.

 
Reply   
 

Hi Dev,

I m not an expert, but i m facing exactly same situation as u. In fact  my case is worse coz in my case our 5 month old son is also involved.

I think first of all u have to become emotionaly very storng. Keep patience in such matters. Dont bow down to your mother in law. This kind of mother in laws now a days taking advantage of their son in law's love towards thei daughter. i think even she will not be happy to keep her daughter at her home forever. So time being avoid taking any legal step, just wait & watch.  Let them take the step first. If u r in contact with your wife then continue it & try to brainwash her.. Even if u loose ur  patience after sometime then send her legal notice to come back & again wait for her reply .  I think its better than RCR.

Experts Pls correct me if i m suggesting anything wrong.

 
Reply   
 
manager

Iam also facing the same prob as me. dev is facing bt in my part my wife is not ready to take divorce and she is staying with me and giving lots of mental pain to me on daily basis we had intercourse (adultry) only once that too forcefully from my end as she told me on very first night she dont want to have adultry atleast for 2-3 years.

Can some one tell me how can i proceed for divorce as we got married on dec., 2012 and iam only 25yrs old guy.

w8tng for some valuable and needy suggestions.

 
Reply   
 
advocate

Here is your Mother in law the main problem so be prepared to do the next act before going to court or any legal step

1. contact her dailly do not raise the issue talk to her nicely and discuss what is going on in your office and about your friedns

2. if possible go to the place and stay for couple of days after all you are damadh and you have every right to stay in your mother in law house there you show how changed guy you are do not ask when she is coming spend ample time with your wife show her your presence how important to her how caring you are for her 

3. this steps may be not important but if you want your wife to return to your home then do what they like show them that your are more caring for her daughter 

i am telling those words because you are recently married and you want her back at any cost and all this legal issues can be filed if your steps are failed finally but try to talk to her 

 
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