Negotiable Instruments: Exhaustive Coverage by Adv Roma Bhagat. Register Now!
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Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     25 June 2010

expert Advise needed

Respected Team,

At the outset, apologies for such a big email, but wanted to make sure i provide all the facts before asking for advise

I am married since 6mts now. There were 5 minor fire accidents in a span of 3 days at my house few months back (i was on an official trip , my father & brother were in office). My wife, mother and sister-in-law were at home. Details of the accident are below

1. Bed spreads and clothes in the portico were damaged
2. News paper beneath the TV stand in Hall went on fire
3. Plastic Water filter table in the Dining hall went on fire
4. One end of my wife's dhuppatta got a spark
5. Plastic rice bucket in Kitchen went on fire

We dont know how the fire occured. I cancelled my trip and came back after hearing this. Since my wife was afraid after these incidents, my in-laws took her to their home. We didnt have any hesitations in sending her as we too thought it would help her to calm down and relax. We were supposed to visit Tirupathi that weekend and hence we requested them to bring her to Tirupathi and told them that we would take her back to our home from there. After reaching their place, my in-laws called me over phone and told me that they were considering the above accidents as an attempt of murder against their daugher and urged us to do two things

1. To file a complaint with police
2. To vacate the house and shift to a new house  as their daughter was afraid to come back to the house (The house that we are staying is our own house)

We filed a complaint with the police. We werent able to go to Tirupathi, as planned, during that weekend and hence decided to go our in-laws place to meet them. We informed them that police complaint has been filed and we would vacate the house after June (as my trip got extended till Jun, my brother was also supposed to travel till Jun and my parents had planned an pilgrimage from late May to early Jun). We also told them that my wife is free to stay with them or join us until we find the new house. We also informed that the plan to Tirupathi was shifted to subsequent week and again requested them to come there. They came to Tirupathi and the entire topic shifted.

My in-laws started complaining that we (especially my mother) were providing 2nd degree treatment to their daugther as the amount of vessels, jewels that they gave her is less compared what my sister-in-law brought at the time of marriage. We never asked/demanded  for any dowry or anything during marriage. Infact i denied to take Rs.5000 that my father-in-law gave me for honeymooon expense. This was a shocker and surprise for us (especially me) and told them these were rubbish. I also asked them why i wasnt informed of any such acts till that date and they were silent. However there were harsh exchange of words from both sides and they took back their daughter with them.

After this, there werent any communication between us for the past 2 mts.I didnt respond to of my wife's SMS as i was totally upset with the way their parents spoke.  My in-laws sent me a detailed letter, couple of weeks back, stating marriage happened on such & such date, fire accidents happened on such & such date..blah blah blah.. they also mentioned that they approached a religious guru and he advised setting up a nuclear family for me and my wife and asked us few questions:

1. If i am interested to live with their daughter anymore
2. If we would be vacating the house

We replied to the letter stating
--> We wouldn't be vacating the house as this was our own house (we did decide to vacate the house earlier but the way they talked in Tirupathi made us feel that they were approaching more for a nuclear family rather the shifting the entire family)
--> I am not interested in going nuclear
--> Responded to question 1 that i was upset with the way they spoke in Tirupathi and was not in a position to comment.

Now we have received a second letter stating that they are willing to talk though this issue. They have also mentioned heartfelt apoligies for the harsh words used against us.

However i am not willing to get united anymore. Reasons being
--> Its  basic that i expect my wife to be open and honest with me. I have asked her "n" number of times if she was comfortable and never she said she wasnt. She totally hid all these (false) allegations, that my in-laws made, from me.
--> Also, there have been numerous instances where she lied or twisted her tounge ( saying one thing to me and saying it exactly opposite to another person and in a different way to another person) and we caught her red-handed
--> She even disrespected me and asked me to prove my potency (This was after reading the letter where we communicated that we wouldnt be vacating the house and wouldnt go nuclear)
--> I am not confident that she might have changed her attitude and  the above things would not happen again.
--> I also have a fear/doubt that all the fire accidents that might have been done by my wife to go nuclear, though i cannot prove.
--> I also fear what if she comes back to our house, inflicts pain for herself and complain that it was done by us?

This being the situation, i would like to understand the legal implications if i apply for a divorce (I presume i need to wait for 6 more months). Can you please advise

--> What would happen if they make false allegations against me/my family & use the domestic violence act?
--> Would this result in any criminal proceedings against me/my family and can we be arrested/Jailed?
--> What kind of steps can i take to prove my innocence and that of my family?

Thanks for reading the mail. Eagerly looking forward for your advise.




 10 Replies

Adv.Aiyer VLV (Proprietor)     25 June 2010

You lived with your wife for 4 months

  1. Do you lover her?
  2. Does she love you?
  3. Your problem is inlaws spoke against your parent or you do not like your wife?
  4. Why are you not asking for getting her back - legally Restitution of Conjugal Right? instead why are you asking for divorce
  5. has your wife expressed fear, scare on phenomenon unexplained causing it. did you listen to her?
  6. Did you ever speak to your wife, after knowing there are complaints about your mother, what is the issue - is it misunderstanding by wife, insecurity by your mother, usual two different personality - expectation mismatch? You can achieve by going over to your inlaws place and taking her out. Keep the analyst and ego out
  7. how come so many fire incidents happening? what are the causes? leave out act of ghost-demon. scientific. you said you and father, brothers away. your mother?
  8. A new house could also not mean nuclear family. 

some areas you must not be analyst. some be analyst with reasoning to reasonable levels. Look for making a marriage work than marring it.

i suggest you carry your statements offline with a counsellor in your town (or with me using messages), than making public statements which can go against you.


1 Like


The judges are intelligent.  Whatever may be rhetoric of the advocates of both the parties, a prudent mind can find out  the facts. (1) How a number of fire accidents have occured frequently, only after the marriage and not before the marriage, (2) despite the apoligies from the girl's side, fresh and fictitious allegations about her attitude and demand of nuclear family - nothing would go out of the thinking arena of the judge.

I totally concur with the Professor.  One has to answer, shedding the hypocracy, to the questions raised by him. Better reform oneself and develop the attitude of forget and forgive nature and live the short life given to us blisfully and peacefully without hurting others, especially better half  and without being hurt by her.

1 Like

Prakash Yedhula (Lawyer)     25 June 2010

Even assuming that the fire accidents were accidental, still the apprehension of your wife and her parents is normal. It seems that your wife is confused and afraid and since she is newly wedded, would certainly listen to her parents in such situation. Her fear for life is normal more so when on one occasion her dhupatta caught fire. The request made by your wife and their family members to set up a nuclear family is justifiable too. It seems that they have nothing against you. Hence instead of ruining your life with legal proceedings and police cases, better try to save the marriage by setting up a separate house atleast for some time till things get better.. You can talk to your parents and make them understand which I suppose they would if they had not committed any wrong.  

1 Like


This  type of situations are very frequent in the traditional families who believe superstitions.All your side and wife side site in one common place discuss the total issues WITHOUT any egos.

Problem is very simple but perceptions are very complicate and complex in these type of cases.


1 Like


Think with a Peacfull mind dont there is no point in taking Divource.Try to get the exact reason for the Fire MisHaps happened.Better to set up a seperate family which doesn't mean that you are Totally going away from your Parents As the time goes everything comes to normal and also balance your EGO by doing YOGA & Meditation.....


All the Best



adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate)     26 June 2010

Dont try to discuss the matter in the absence of elders of the society, because it is sensitive matter, always elders of the society plays vital role to sort out the problem, if only your family and your father-in-law's family discussed it wont solvethe problem because you would say I am right and they would say they are right.  think twice take decision as early as possbile to avoid the effect on the work.



DONT GO AHEAD IN LIFE WITH such a lady. the nature of allegations they are puting on u shows wat u shud expect for urself in future. CONSULT A GOOD LAWYER. safeguard urself and ur family, dont go for rcr to fulfill ur desires.

H.D.Kumaravelu (Advocate)     26 June 2010

Mr. Venkataraman,

As righty put in  you are trying to hide some thing which really needs a good counselling. When you have your parents to support you, it is natural for your wife also to be supported by her parents. This shows the amount of love you both have to the respective parents. Now you are married and you seem to be out of house on your work on major times ignoring the age of the marriage. Marriage tie has lot of issues to be though of. You should not think that we are finding fault with you or your parents. There are every possiblities for a reunion in your case. Your wife does not find any fault with you ignore others. Take your wife by going in her way and bring her back to make her understand that she need to keep off with silly and fictious matters. Forget divorse.

madan kumar nayak (marketing executive)     26 June 2010

Good morning sir,

                                My name is Madan kumar nayak, I have purchaged a land in Gramthana site in Bannerghatta circle.i go through the paper this belongs to Sedule tribe(ST).but till now i have not registered a land,just i have given future it will be broblem.please give me sugesting.

Thanking you

Madan kumar nayak

Adv.Aiyer VLV (Proprietor)     26 June 2010

Mr. nayak

you must post it as new query

not as response to a different query

you gave advance, please take it back.


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