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Karr Pio   15 October 2015

Emotionally tortured by husband and kept away from home


I am Karr from Goa and I have been married for the last 6 years, I got married in 2009 and I have a two and half year old child. I met my husband when I was working abroad in gulf and we got married in the Catholic church and marriage is registered in Goa. Around 4 years back we returned back from gulf and upon return I settled in my matrimonial home along with my husband. The nightmare began from there, he began to spend more time with his family (who stay very close to my matrimonial home), he started to dislike me, he would be emotionally distant and unavailable, he picks up on small issues and says I demands respect. I have been through episodes where he has pulled my hair once, slapped me on my forehead, forcibly or unknowingly records videos of me when I am angry and trying to voice my concerns invading my privacy, deliberately broke my mobile in anger, he constantly starts a fight saying he is smart and keeps putting me down, if he gets very angry he pulls my clothes from the cupboard or all my stuff and throws my things around with no respect whatsoever, robbed me of all my money and the wedding gold given by my inlaws. If things don’t go his way or if he dislikes any person from my side of the family they are barred from entering my marital home to the extent of my parents, siblings and friends. The phone line and WiFi has been disconnected or usage not given to me. Earlier he used to support me financially now for the last two years he has not so much so given me a rupee for my personal needs, if I go shopping and pick up even female necessities he constantly brings it up asking me to give him gratitude. Other than food and shelter personally he does not provide me with anything. I do not work as my priority is to take care of the child and my inlaws are not supportive of me. If I do pick up any job at home I am asked to drop it down. He constantly refers to the house as his as he is the one that purchased it long before marriage. If I do want to meet my parents many a times he has asked me to walk away even when the child is small and is being breastfed. Everytime we have a fight, against my wishes he will take me and keeps me at my parents place and be negligent and absent for days on even to the extent of half or one month and only expects me to sit around on chat an the net and will have a non verbal conversation in which he will turn his fault into his defence and make it look like the other is at fault. He will not bother to call or come see the child and there is no support or finance provided, my parents look after us then. He has been previously married about 10+ years back and is divorced and annulled by the church, I recently came to know he lied to me about his previous marriage and the same behaviour was shown to his ex-wife causing her to finally give up where he proved that she was mentally deranged by faking documents. He is so smart that he will stir up a fight or do something and justify it in a pleasing way and put the blame on the spouse. Now recently after 6 months had come to my parents place for a religious function and got his approval to stay for 3 days and after three days asked him to get back and he refuses saying that I cause fights in the house and is the problem to his health. He constantly calls me mad, pathetic, crazy, good for nothing etc...

Its an emotional trauma for me and the baby hence my questions:

  1. If I wish to discontinue this relationship, who gets the custody of the child. He is neither providing for me or my child when we are away or neither keeps in touch (except via non verbal means like whatsapp and email and uses abusive languages there). Is there any way he can have the child custody and under what circumstances (I have a son who is around 2 ½ years).

  2. Will the Goa Civil Codewhich allow each spouse 50% share in their marital property after divorce apply in case I say I want to discontinue.

  3. Will he be entitled to give Child support and Maintanence ?


If I continue with this insane rollercoaster

  1. How do I safe guard myself and my child against these emotional and slightly physical tortures.

Could anyone shed any light, any information will be welcomed.

I am financially incapable of hiring a lawyer and scared of any involvement of police or legal forces.

Kindly Help with information



 5 Replies

Karr Pio   15 October 2015

Just to add;

1) The property, home, vehicles etc are not in my husband name they are in my mother in laws name.

2) Since I am away from home all my important documents and baby clothes as well as my things are at home, If I request or ask for my stuff would it look like I want out ?

jayaselan j k (all in all advocate)     15 October 2015

Approach women web and get aid..

jayaselan j k (all in all advocate)     15 October 2015

Approach women web and get aid..

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     15 October 2015

have initiated any elder person help to mediate with your wife actually what happened and how to solve this problem because normally some misunderstanding is taken place and if that is solved there will not be any problem and if a girl child is then the custody will be mother and if father shows that he can take full respondibility and care apart from financial court will grant custody to father after 7 years but in rear cases, but first preference will be mother and for boy also same

prabhakar advocate (advocate)     15 October 2015

Under Legal Services Authority Act, every woman is entitled free legal counsel.  So, you can get it free of cost.  As your case falls under Christian personal law, I am not capable to give exact answer about your query that how much you are entitled into the property in the event of divorce.  The other questions - the child being two and half years, you will get custody rights and if he is interested, he will get visitation rights to visit the child on and off at fixed timings as decided by court.  Regarding maintenance, you and your child are entitled to maintenance, which comes to about 1/3rd of his monthly earnings under Section 125 of Cr.P.C.  Even you are a christian, you can file a case under this section and get the relief.   Next, if you want to have residential rights and cannot put up with him under the same roof, you can file domestic violence case and get rent from him, if you live in a rented house, far away from him.  Going through your narration, it is crystal clear that he wants to pile up electronic evidence in the shape of videos and audios to prove your "cruelty" against him to get divorce and to deny the maintenance.  So, carefully draft your Section 125 cr.p.c.petition and D.V. petition, narrating the facts that how he provokes you and make you off-balance and record it in video sometimes secretly and sometimes openly while you flip your lid under utmost frustration.  Such true narration of facts will dampen the sharpness of the evidences he will flassh in the court.  In the meantime, you start to search for the jobs, so that child can be put in day-care centre or maternal grand parents' home while you will be on duty.  Wish you best of luck.

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