Do matrimonial laws REALLY FAVOR WOMEN?

PC, ask any lawyer, women who have suffered harrassment at the hands of their husband rarely reach the point in court where she can prove the factual allegations because before that she is either made to settle for meagre sums or forced to give up the fight because as is she has suffered so much and thereafter when she goes to get justice not only the system harrasses her further but  lawyers act like vultures.  Even if the lawyers are convinced that she has suffered they advise her to settle as she will get even more meagre amount than what the husband is offering because as Renuka mentioned the courts will not look into the equity, lost opportunities, the effects of harrassments etc.  She is left with a choice to either settle for bear minimum so that she and her children can exist (not live) in the world or choose to fight for justice whereby she will not only have to sacrifice herself and the children existance but will have the extra burden to bear the legal expenses of the vultures and at the end even if with financial help from friends and family, she is able to prove the harrassment and fault of the husband, she will again get much less than what the husband was offering earlier without the legal harrassment as the court does not believe that she and the children have the right to live a good life as they could have, had the husband carried out his duty.  If she is working, even if it's a fraction of what the husband is earning, then things are even worse for her as she is told by everyone including the courts that since you are earning you are independent and should leave such a husband.  Again the equity does not come in picture.  She is again asked just to exist and not live a life she and her children deserved had the husband been responsible.  Whereas the husband not only during the process but also thereafter lives a big life due to male dominance.

But Sivani Madam,

You did not answer my points.....Its true that even Murderers gets away in absence of proof...but my point is if

1)       Women is really harassed, she should directly file for divorce along with other cases which she has filed…but Most wifes don’t do it…Why they don’t want divorce with such so called careless, cruel etc. etc. husband?

2)       Moreover, as she lived with husband she must have enjoyed the income of husband and lifestyle as well. Now while demanding rights/justice/maintenance where are the duties. If you talk about missed opportunities etc….then no one begged her to get married. She very well knew at the time of marriage whether she would be working or not, No one forced (Raped) her to bear a child – she should have said no to child and continue working. Who forced her to quit work/bear child responsibilities?

3)       When you say, she settles as she can’t prove the allegation. Obviously how can she prove false allegations like her husband and inlaws are cruel since years and she is bearing all this cruelty since years and in process she also got one or more child, husband were demanding dowry etc. etc. If these would have been true then why she tolerated these for years and now have woken up?

4)       What is the fault of poor parents and relatives of husband? Is false allegation on those poor souls justifiable when you say Poor wife had to bear all these?

Tell us one thing…..How much fact you have put in your FIR (if you already have filed)? And then discuss about how can poor wife can prove?

@ sivani

yes u r right.......i am saying this from personal experience......

i wanted my marriage to work....even though i was tortured like hell by my hubby(only child of my in laws) and my mother inlaw......

when i filed DV Case against them after mental cruelty and desertion from NRI husband i was forced to settle for an alimony that was not at all at par with his financial staus. and also forced to settle for incomplete streedhan.

when my lawyer was drafting my DV case to get me my matrimonial rights,including restoration to my husband's home,my hubby was posting his matrimonial advertisements in a well known matrimony website(ISKCON)and when i wrote to the owner that he's already married,the owner though a woman "lectured" me that in hindu dharma a man can remarry even without a divorce and that i must have really done something coz of which he's deserted me.so i should bow down and be at his mercy coz this is wot hinduism demands of we women.to be v.submissive.............

 if he still refusesto accept me,i shud happily allow him to remarry even thogh we aren't divorced,and i shud rather live in some ancient city like haridwar by the side of The Gangat to lead my life "in dignity"......she was shocked to know that i was living with my parents.........

meanwhile my hubby and inlaws are leading lavish lifestyle after getting rid of me.........

u can read my other thread at "my contribution" to know wot happened...

and i am sure after reading my story,many of the participants of this thread will call me greedy,home breaker etc.but dats okay...i know what i am..........

It's not the question of no one begged her to get married. It's the entire socio-cultural context which make a woman vulnerable. Now coming to no body raped her to bear a child. one has to look through the literature on status of women in India or rather south Asia and have a look at the international report too. Also have a look at the ongoing research on HIV/AIDS where  the fact of women's lack of decision making power on whether to have or not ,when to have children, whether to have or not, when and where and how many times to have s*x  with the spouse have been foregrounded in the context of rising rate of HIV/AIDS among women. Take the case of rural women now. Most women , according to umpteen of focus group discussions with rural women have no freedom to decide when, where and how many times to have s*x with the spouse. Urban scenario is no different. The only difference is that educated women have now started knowing their rights and know that intimate relations cannot be monopolised by male spouse alone, and women have a say in it. Again, number of such women are very few and many women though educated and working do not exercise  such decision making power. Marital rape is not a new word anymore, and women undergo such rapes more than possibly men.

@ sivani

if u r interested,u can read my story/threads titles of which are :

question regarding lawyer's fee..

Pls advice(this thread is started by a man named mohit but i participated here and posted my story briefly)

The title of this Post itself shows how much "equal" minded the women are. They shout for equality saying that they are ill-treated but the actual fact is they want "the LAWS TO FAVOR WOMEN".  I have seen many cases where in even if the Judges know that false 498-A cases are been imposed on husband and his family members, still they convict the husbands.

In my own case, my wife filed false 498-A case against me and my old and sicky parents ( thugh they hardly stayed with us for 2-3 days in total) and still she is very much willing to re-join with me. As righly asked by PC why women dont file "DIVORCE" cases along with 498-A, DV, 125 CrPC etc case?

EXCEPTIONAL RESPONSE.

BURNING ISSUE.

COMING OUT THE CAT FROM THE BAG.

I NEED MORE AND MORE URGUEMENT AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF THE MEMBERS,

ONLY REQUEST THAT THEY SHOULD POST THE TRUE FACTS AND LOGICAL URGUEMENTS.

RESPONSE MORE THAN EXCEPTION.

RESPONSE MORE THAN EXPECTATION.

@arup kumar gupta jee

sir the facts though in brief are true..if u feel somewhere they cud be twisted,it's okay............

NOTED. THANKS MS. AISHWARYA.

THE ABOVE REQUEST FOR ALL.

Aishwariya, please don't feel apologetic in telling your story and you need not try to prove the truth to anyone for we know it to be true for not just you but for millions of women in india.  Not only the housewives but the so called educated and working women go all the way to save their marriage and go to the courts only as a last resort.  These guys would not understand what it is for a woman to want to make her marriage work.  They do not understand that it is not as easy for a woman to sleep with another man after having shared her bed with her husband as it is for men to jump from one bed to another.  It's a emotional issue for women and not a physical one as is with men but they would not understand this. Even today in our society, if a man leaves a woman she is called 'Talaak Shuda' & easy prey and if the woman leaves a man he is still called 'Pati Parmeshwar'! and a eligible bachelor! Further, the guys feel that they have a right now to this easy prey and if she rejects or gives back then they tell her how this attitude of hers only would have broken her marriage.
 

@Kiran  If you see the topic properly it does not say 'the law to favour women', it is only questioning the projections made by men in all forums, 'Is the law in favour for women'.  Whenever a woman in the past has questioned something which men has projected, this is exactly how the men have gathered together and attacked the woman and twisted the matter.

matrimonial laws do favour women , because they have been made to favour women. otherwise men will switch women like anything.

these laws have been created to bring order in society. but educated girls have become independent, broad minded and almost vampires when it comes to revenge.

they use these laws to USE men in the manner they like. thanks to some greedy ... in fraternity they become DANGEROUS. these are maily to use men like ATMs. i remember case of my sis in law whu made fraud on my bro in marriage and wen on second morning of unconsumatted marriage my bro asked her for separation she said we know laws very well and ur whole family will go to jail without any crime. girls and their parents have become so open minded they take boys forgranted and do fraud without fear. so gandhi's dreams come true women have become totally fearless. my brother will never take her back only for reason because she did a well thought fraud.