Do matrimonial laws REALLY FAVOR WOMEN?

Sivani / Renuka / Aishwarya,

Don't go subjective here in this forum, lets talk objective and the things which can be proved / justified.

498a Wifes....

1) Can't remain unmarried - Society to be blamed.
2) Wife's Parents gives Dowry/gifts at the time of marraige so that husband-wife can start a new life with ease and without hucups (Similarly Boys parents also gives wife home, status and security) - Here also Society to be blamed for giving Gifts/Dowry.
3) Wife runs away from house-hold duties and doesn't like staying with her in-laws, wants to control husband's finances - Blames Husband & his parents and the social structure for that whereas she can very well tell before marraige for a separate home or even ask husband to live with her lovely parents (I hope no intelligent husband would mind that!)
4) When doesn't get suceed in one way or other, deserts husband - Again Husband and Inlaws to be blamed.
5) When gets preganant - Recently as per some of you (Sivani/RG/Aishwarya not sure who) here you would blam the lack of decision power regarding SEX to be blamed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6) Prepares and Gives all the defaming allegation and not the factual one that she was not comfortable with house hold duties and with her in-laws but uses very defaming terms like drunker, dowry takers, torturers, murderers, aborters of her child and what not - Here Advocates and Police to blame as they give her such evil advice, where the hell her mind went at that time.
7) Gets Husband and most of her relatives without descriminating arrested and run after multiple Police Stations/Courts - Whom to blame!!!! I guess here Police and Judiciary, Government etc. who created such procedures.
8) Gets Maintenance from various courts - Whom to blame!!! Here she is gaining without any duties.
9) Don't give divorce to husband and leaves him in the stage of stigma, agony and doesn't allow him to meet his own child - Whom to blame!!!
10) And after passing of some years and having maintenance/settlement amount decided/in her pocket come to such site and cry foul blaming each and every one except her selft and her interfearing parents! Too Good.

Tell, me where any of this procedure/event helps MEN/Husband and even if husband spends some money here and there after giving maintenance/settlement amount to wife (which don't have any duties toward husband) - She feels burnt!

What figures? They do tell lies.

Murder is changed into suicide and vice versa. You show me the pink backs and I shall make it suicide or murder as you wish. Changing post mortem report and forensic lab tests are done in without batting an eyelid.

if somebody believes in Delhi police, of all the Indian police forces, I shall pray and salute as long as my body and soul permit me to do so.

LOL

------ the whole aim of a woman is to grow up get married, have  children and then file 498 and get in-laws and husband arrested so that she can struggle and bring up the children single handedly through all the trauma and brick bats from the society......What for?  Because this is her means of enjoyment........LOL

------ leaves him in the stage of stigma.........So True.......that is why when a man leaves a woman, she is called 'Talak Shudha', an 'easy prey', 'a loose character', 'too independent', 'aaj ki aurat' and he becomes------ a 'Eligable Bachelor once again' (i.e even when he is still to get the divorce)

------runs away from duty......Oh that is a good one.......that is why when both have to leave for office at 8:30, she gets up at 5:00 and yet has just 15 minutes to rush to get ready, while he gets up at 7:30 to read the paper (ofcourse with his coffee), have ready breakfast and tiffin packed with lots of time to get ready.  Any idea why?

------Both their offices end at the same time but she rushes home early to take care of the house, cook the dinner, sit with the children for their homework.  He reaches late because after office closes he's on internet chatting and playing games, on the way he meets friends for beer, reaches home, dumps himself in front of the TV, plays with the kids for a few mins after which he shouts at them to keep away as he's tired. Has ready made dinner and falls off asleep.  Wow.......She really is running away from her duty.

------ If she's late from office because of work a few times, she needs to give explanations with proof else surely she's having a affair but he can be late everyday, chat on internet the whole weekend with strange women, party alone and if she questions......she sure is interfering and robbing him of his 'space'.

------ a wife is essentially nagging, controlling, arrogant, dominating, interfering,  rude to in-laws wanting their worst, suffocating the husband, robbing him of his 'space', blaming him and the in-laws for her miseries.  Isn't that how every petition goes???????????? or is there anything new? 

to all

my idea of starting this thread is not to spit venom against men as i believe in equality of both s*xes.if the judiciary has loopholes,both s*xes suffer;whetehr it's a rape or a matrimonial case.........if men can be wife beaters,there can be selfish women too...................all i wanted to do is to bring attention to the fact that not all women file false cases against men................there must be a few of them.............but our gr8 indian judiciary is so "efficient" that women face harassment due to this "efficiency" & loopholes in the law ..................to say that laws favor women is only on paper.dats y i asked"do laws really favor women?"

men here are spitting venom against women cox of their own personal experiences...............fine!let them do

but dont forget that their own mums,female relatives in family as also equally abusive towards their wives............and this is the case in many indian households........if u say wives can be real bullies,same applies to MILs also who are also women............For example.my mother inlaw was a real bully not just to me but to my father inlaw also..........dats why he danced to her tunes to harass me in the name of supporting heror else she will give him vulgar gaalis(sorry for using this word).not only this..........after her own marriage,she got himm separated from his own family which included his widowed mother and made him a slave to her own family..............

i never got support from any of her relatives as they all "respect" her a lot as she's the eldest........

in DV case,till now i have been hearing that women cant be brough to task...........but as per my experience,i have mostly seen that mother inlaws are the worst bullies in a matrimonial home.and tehy are the basis of ur gud or bad relationship with ur hubby........they have to be "pleased " at any cost...............if they are unhappy with the bahu's "performance" ,they can really manipulate a son's mind,into illtreating her or even deserting her..........

if for example a woman discovers she cant bear a child,the hubby may still be willing to adopt,but the mother inlaw will leave no excuse to call her adjectives like "baanjh" etc................and the son will follow her path to show her "respect"

and when i read controversies on whether to involve women folk as respondents in DV act,i donno wot to say....

now wot do men have to say about  MILs who are also women...........now please dont say......................women who are MILs  cant be cunning.only wives can be!

Laws are in favour of women theoretically, since the law always used to be with weaker side. Not only laws even our religion, religious texts, culture too gives special status to females, they are considered as sacred gender “Ghar Ki Laxmi”.

Even these heavily loaded laws in favor of women too are not proving deterrent and failed to save them from cruelty/attrocity. It is the failure of investigation agency, due to which these laws are being misused.

Right from the social reformer Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Mahatma Gandhi to A P J Abdul Kalam have advocated for the upliftment /empowerment of females/girls and have expressed their deep concern over the condition of females .

Once retd. Chief Justice Of India A S Anand had said that "Fight for gender equality is not a fight against men. It is a fight against traditions that have chained them ------ a fight against attitudes that are ingrained in the society --- it is a fight against the system ---- a fight against proverbial Laxman Rekha which is different for men and different for women. The society must rise to the occasion. It must recognize and accept the fact that men and women are equal partners in life. They are individuals who have their own identity" 

When a father slaps his son, it is considered usual, but if a son slaps his father then it is considered as unusual, irrespective of the reason or cause.

We should form any opinion on the basis of isolated or personal incidence, let it be confined to personal, and not entire gender is to blamed.

If an women called “Geeta” has misused the law then it does not mean that

To Sivani & Aishwarya,

Some points in reply of your posting.

1) A girl can very well argu on her like or dislike about house hold duties and about timings of office before marraige (there is a very sweet period after engagement which is meant for such discussion only or even at the time of first few meetings before even engagement). She can very well say that I would do job and hence we would hire a maid etc. etc.....even after marraige that discussion can be carried out and since both are earning I don't think any husband would mind if wife wants to have maid for all house hold work....in fact in reality this is how most of the working wifes in metros live with maid.

2) If your husband/MIL has even hurted you, you (if working) can very well get separated for a period of time and after some time I am sure every thing would be sorted out with discussion....where is the need for filing cases with allegations like dowry demand, physican and mental torture related to dowry, tried to kill the wife etc. etc and etc.

3) If you blam boy's mother then let me tell you most of the matrimonial cases get to their worse ending because of wife's parent's interfearance into couple's life.....when you say women have been conditioned to stay with parent in laws etc. etc and again etc.....then why after marraige (here I  am talking about most and not all) wife's mother usually gives advice which is not good for joint family.

4) Even if we beleave that your MIL was dominating....I don't think it can be that much so that you need to get them arrested and give false allegation which you can't prooved

5) Even afte filing the case, when husband's side (here also I am beleaving that husband might have neglected wife in some or other way) comes for a compromise, you show arogance and either ask for money to settle or put all such condition which can't be acceptable to any of husband (mind it here you are not asking any thing with love and trust but with GUN POINTED ON THEIR HEAD)

6) And after all with passing of some year, if you get maintenance (if you are not working) but its not as per your expectation or you and your husband decide to get separated (MIND IT WITH SETTLEMENT AMOUNT) and when the husband also starts living his life with somewhat peace (THE AGONY WOULD REMAIN THERE LIFE-LONG) and gets used to singlehood......

then come to such website crying that I got less settlement/maintenance, cheated by my advocate, is law really favour women etc, etc and finally etc.

My questin is.....

1) If you are not comfortable (if you are not working), overburdened (if you are working) with house-hold duties....then why can't you simply discuss this issue with help of same elders who got you two married? - But here ego of both the Parent In Laws comes in.

2) If compromise can't be finalised then why can't both try to leave separate for a period of time and then decide the future course of action?

3) If after some period of time, if neigther party changes their stand then why can't both decide for Mutual Divorce with reasonable alimony? and then use your marital experience in finding a new perfect partner if you wish to get married or leave alone/with parents happily.

4) What is the need of filing false cases which would break the relationship with no hope of reconciliation?

5) Did police/court came into picture while you got married then what is the need in case of separation?

Through my personal experience....I really beleave that reconciliation/reunion always happens if no party files any false allegation/criminal cases against each other....in that case Time will take his course and both husband & wife would start missing/loving each other even more than ever (as their is alwasy greater love after a period of separation).....

The bottom line is

"Sai thaga preet ka mat todo chatkay......Jode se phir naa jude.....jude gath pad jay....Kabira....Jude gath pad jaye"

@ pc

hats off to you! i must salute u for your wonderful analysis.......sir or madam(whoever u r,)how did u guess that my marital problem was not so severe that i crazily filed cases?

who told u that i filed cases immeditely after marriage without showing patience and that my hubby came for a compromise which i did not want?seems u are someone with mystic powers who can read into my past...........

i can write my entire case here and then u alone judge if my case needed legal help or not.............

but i dont have patience to type so much nor the inclination to prove anything to u.as i said in my earlier posts also people may think i filed case to extort money and that it's their own thinking...........

god bless u and ur thinking!

@Aishwarya,

I am Mr. PC......My points are general and I said in reply to your post...at no point I mentioned that you did this and that…….As you might be speaking from you experience…I am speaking from my experience and of the experience of some of my friends who also got burnt like me into this hell.

The only few points I want to mention are..

1)       If you have any issues….Everyone should clearly mention there priorities before marriage and in volatile situation….after marriage also could be discussed.

2)       If one gets harassed by one or more persons, then should be discussed with them with the help of wise people of the community.

3)       If can’t find conclusion, then should go for divorce.

4)       If want to take revenge (so called justice), then should file factual allegation against only those people and should not make all of them suffer with false allegation which eventually you would not be able to prove.

5)       498a is a very fatal to relationship and should not be used in any case (except death or serious injuries), Crpc 125 & DV gives all the required remedy if you feel to take revenge and was harassed.

6)       Once you took revenge (justice), then should not blame anyone….because you got what you wanted (Revenge/Justice I guess), maintenance for livelihood (now court would ask based on merits, income and liabilities of husband) in the method you wanted (from Police and court and not from community).

7)       The title of this thread is “Do these laws really favor women”….then My answer would be still “YES” and if its NO as per anybody then give objective reasons as Wife got what she wanted in the manner she wanted.

I am no one madam to know your story and don’t want to know as well…..

The conclusion of my previous post was….that in matrimony….the things should be sorted out through discussion and not through force…..if you can’t agree with each other party then should part away with piece because by getting into false allegation, blames you would get your revenge/justice/materialistic things but would not get piece for sure.  

@ PC

A good reply (read neutral justification)

The post started with right note but somewhere down the line it become personal and then subjective and ended up like acrimonious matrimonial relationship directly or indirectly by various participants to this post is what I feel. Take eg. of another post here on men Impotent...... something like that.  It was also a nice starting post but became too personal.

@PC,

Really appreciate your views. I wish ur posts should be read by people who are about to spoil thier mental peace and will act accordingly..

Those who have drafted the law were not fool. If someone has misused the law, then to so many it has protected also. The issue is to stop it's misuse and strict implementation, so that every women feel safe and secure. Going and fighting at courts itself is a harassment for women and for this reason so many (most of) cases go unreported, and they prefer to keep quiet than to face this type of harassment.

At least they are not killing and torturing physically to their husbands in cruel/brutal manner as most of the husband does with their wives for even small mistakes. Fighting court/legal battle and harassing legally cannot be equated/compared with the physical cruelty or brutal murder of wives. Recently a person of my area killed his wife by setting her on fire in the bathroom with her hands and feet tied on Deepawali, reason she has produced five daughters in a row. What more pathetic is Police even refused to write/lodge FIR in spite of pressure from the whole society and her caste/community men, since Police was bribed.

Would anybody liked or have courage to be lynched with their hands and feet tied with rope to feel the pain?

When they (women) will be pushed to the corner then why not they will use their tool for self defense provided by the law?

It is simply disgusting to blame or demonise entire women and womanhood on such type of trivial personal, isolated matters.

u please go to family court wenever u r free, also go to 498 a court. u will urself come to know 95% of cases are filed by ladies are false. one case goin in front of me. judge asked why u filed complaint against ur SIL. she replied she(SIL) is running a beauty parlour in her govt accomodation. THE FACT WAS  her husband was accomodated by his bro as he had no place to live in metro, so for the time being he acomodated his bro in his official accomodation. u cannot justify living in others house then sending them jail for their hospitality. i wish ur wife files a false 498a on u mr ashutosh one day wen u get late from office  due to ur car puncture . u weill realise only then . amen

See I am well aware of these things, and I am happy that at least womens are learning to fight and exercise their right whether it is true or false. Let them enjoy their freedom after a long period of supression.

Strength recognises strength.

Dedicate ur suffering to those who have benefitted with these acts. Do not be personal.

@ Ashutosh

You have no basic idea on drafting of Law it seems to have made a irresponsible general comment above "Those who have drafted the law were not fool."

I am posting a seperate post titled as "PWDVA LAW INTERPRETED" and after reading it through your comment on drafting a Law and request not to make irresponsible comments without understanding process of Law making and general public and stake holders comment goes into making a Law. 

Rgds.

We have seen what is happening in Bihar, Karnataka and U.P. legislatures. Why the Constitution allows such things? When there is a murder, police takes over. Who takes over when this mayhem continues. Did those who drafted the Constitution have the foresight to imagine that these legislators would degenerate themselves to such depth. What mechanism they put into the Constitution whereby such hooliganism would be sniffed out by a force that is not within the legislature precincts.

They were just mortals. Nothing more. I would go so far as to say that the Constitution is a mute spectator. If our representatives behave in such a manner there ought to be an external force to weed them out not the authority of speaker and which automatically swings into action. The slinging match between the judiciary and legislature is a great spectacle. In the name of privileges, they are killing democracy itself.