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Paruvatham (STL)     19 November 2014

Divorce with bpd wife and child custody

I got married in 2005. From starting, my wife started quarreling for unwanted things, imaginative somethings and fighting based on it. Very bad part is that she will attempt for suicide. 2 years back her father expired and her brothers also cheated in property division. They gave her a property mentioning its values as 50L but when we try to sell it, we came to know it 's real value is 20-25L. All these added and her condition become so worst. Finally, I took her to psychiatrist. She was treated for BPD. She hesitate to take medicines and come to hospital also.Dr are asking to admit her. Their family members are also not co-operating and not believing that she has problem. Every time for their sake, they will take her home without my knowledge. Finally no other way, I filed Divorce. She went to her home. My son(aged about 6) was staying with me and going to school. Suddenly, a week back, she came to my home and not willing to go out. I went to police station but they denied to sent her back as it is her marital home. Suddenly, after a week, she took the son and went back to her home. Then with the help of lawyer, I filed a complaint in women's police station. Her uncle is in high post sales tax department. With the help of him, they informed DSP and not coming to police station. As she tried to give poison to my son earlier, I am very afraid of him. Now, police is saying that if they are not coming, we will close and give u a certificate stating that they have not come. Hope is happens with the influence of DSP. Pl advise me what can I do now to save my son. Also what is the possibility of getting harassed by dowry or DVI cases.


 10 Replies

Fight Back (Analyst)     19 November 2014

The chances of a dowry case (498a) or DV case is high. However, as far as I know, they cannot arrest you or your family members without proper investigation.

As a precaution keep all the document, the police complaint, her medical certificates, prescripttions ready so it can help during any police complaints.

Also,if you have already filed for divorce then see what happens there, has a notice been served to her? Has she or her lawyer appeared before the family court? If, so chances are that they might send for mediation and you can see what she or her family members want. 

Paruvatham (STL)     19 November 2014

Just now, I received a call and it got disconnected before I pick. When I checked in the internet, it is SP office number in their area. Hope some complaint is made. I am waiting for the call to know the details.

SuperHero (Manager)     19 November 2014

Don't worry...they might file cases....But make sure you have all the evidences as mentioned by Fightback.

From the Lawyer. Ask for child custody....

Hope all will be well...Pray to God with Love and Devotion for the Safety of your Son and Others.

Born Fighter (xxx)     19 November 2014

Hire a local lawyer and see how best you can handle things if 498a / DV complaint is lodged. Keep her medical reports handy as well. Dealing with BPD is like walking on egg shells everyday. Knowing BPD personality traits i'm telling you they have no realization for whatever evil they do to people, on contrary they will project themselves as victims by creating drama/lies/manipulations/threats/blackmailing. In their head they feel they are always right ... the situation never improves as they feel they are normal and require no medicines/counselling to keep their BPD in control. 

Pls deal with situation carefully, PROTECT yourself and ensure you split with her amicably, im not advising you to surrender but ensure things are sorted out without wasting time fighting with BPD. you deserve a better life !

Paruvatham (STL)     20 November 2014

Today I got a call from Women's police station and they told that My wife and her brothers made a complaint. They have told that I send my wife to get money to purchase a flat. Now their brothers are ready to give and that to be legal. They are calling me to come to Police station and take the money and my wife back.

SuperHero (Manager)     21 November 2014

What do you want to do??

Paruvatham (STL)     21 November 2014

I am seeking advice on what to do. I have not asked any money from my wife or their family and feeling that this complaint as a form of dowry complaint. How to react to this and steps to protect me.

Fight Back (Analyst)     21 November 2014

My suggestion, when the police calls, tell them that there is already a case pending before the family court and you will answer things there, and whatever they talk about flat or money tell them this is all false and there is no truth to that.

Even after this if they summon you through a notice then get a lawyer with you and go and attend as earlier said with all the documents and probably even the MC case number.

Paruvatham (STL)     25 November 2014

one of the high court lawyer suggested to file a case "not to harass" and then the details will be sent to the concern police station. But some suggests to get AB. If I file"not to harass" , does it means no FIR and remand. How it will be useful in my case.

Paruvatham (STL)     02 December 2014

We have filed "not to harass" in high court and request the matter to move to mediation. But meantime, with political support, they filed FIR against me and my family members. Last saturday, they came to my house (including women inspector). As I didnt go that week to my home, they took my sister and kept her for 2 days and send her back. They have not remand her also. They planned to catch me by holding her. But my lawyer told not o go. What they do is illegal. what to do. fear of complaints against police, as they may create some other issues. Her husband is also a Inspector.


Pl guide me to safeguard me and my family

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