1) by any means,hook or crook serve the notice first. there is another example on this forum where notice was served at 6 am so he doesnt escape.
2) as others have advised, trying to settle amicably is best option (you may have to reach out to his close friends/family etc.)
recovering your gold - you can take help of law, (police/405 etc) but what is the guarantee that you can recover? you can harass him but will you get what you want.? once matter enters court, then unless the opp party budges nothing moves. if your husband is adamant, he may not return (that too after 2 years).
just be careful of advocates or any other middlemen who sell dreams and promise you to get a lot of money - there is absolutely no guarantee in those promises.
3) Husband and Wife both ruin their lives and spend all money - much to the glee of advocates. so if you must take legal action, be aware of all possibilities.
4) why is your husband behaving like this - is it just the property issue or did something push him to this limit? since you only know the complete truth, pls try any positive approach ; if he was pressing for property, then it should come under dowry as such a demand is not legal.
5) It seems you are also in a helpless position like the false 498a victims here...so its your personal decision what legal relief you plan to take
498a doesnt always pay. 125 should where you are unable to work.