Divorce - domestic violence, dowry etc

Its your call .....you can still say in the second motion you dont want MCD as your intention is to take revenge  . But what next ultimately neither can you lead your life as you are not yet divorced and hence cannot remarry . In case you would have to go in for contested Divorce you would have to spend years for it and it would be a drain on your financial resources as well as attended dates in court which would affect your Job . And as you say there is no love in the marriage and its dead whats the point in continuing with it .But can you tell me was your  husband a Boxer that he used to beat you for 40 minutes continously . As i am a boxer and i hardly can box for 1/2 an hour countinoulsy .

If you file domestic violence to get reliefs it would take years for you and not as per the act it says within 60 days of the summons reliefs has to be provided which is nothing but a fairy tale .  As you are working you would not be getting maintanence .if you have children than your husband has to provide them with maintanence .

you can still file DV and linger on in court . There is no jail but its for a protection order .after the protection order is passed and there is a breach of it than only criminal proceeding start u/s 31 of the DV act .So try to understand what you would be gaining from it .

Under section 22 of the act you can claim compensation but than the question that would be raised why was there no FIR filed when your hand was broken on that date , who was the doctor who treated you etc . why didnt the doctor file an FIR in case he is called for cross examination .........etc etc . So think with a rational mind and than decide what exactly you want although i know a lot Supreme coats R/W High coats would suggest you to file DV and than say it is difficult to prove DV inside 4 walls of the bedroom .

Stanley

Thanks for your advice. What you say is true. It’s not because I want to take revenge, it’s just that my father in law has pocketed my entire dowry and a lot of other financial gains due to this marriage. He even told the counsellor: “we arranged this marriage only so that my son can go abroad through this marriage”. That was like taking a bullet. Even when consular asked my husband to come for sessions my father in law would say:” my son will not spend a penny to fly down or to attend any counselling session”. He would rather earn money than spend his time and money on counselling. I would like to add that this was a similar case with my husband brother and wife. But husband’s brother finally had the courage to save the marriage and not let the father dictate it. Husband brother is not in talking terms with the father or any family members as that was the only way to avoid 3^rd party involvement in marriage. When I got beaten up it was this brother who told me to make sure I have evidence as I will need it. At that time it didn’t make sense to me.

I have photographic evidence as well as the doctor who treated me knows, but I live outside India. I didn’t file a case as I didn’t want to harm my husband as he was and is still being a toy in his father’s hands. Also the county we live in would punish my husband for a long time for domestic violence. It was my choice not to file a FIR. I know it sounds unbelievable when I say he punched me for about 40 minutes. A lot of women do misuse the Domestic Violence Act and hence real victims like me are not believed. It’s my right hand that has been affected and it hinders my day to day life as well as job and the physical pain I endure while working makes me wonder if I have been too naïve it letting him go. The reason I am not happy with the Mutual Consent Divorce (MCD) is because I am not sure why he beat me or did what he did. There is no logical reason and his refusal to attend any counselling sessions both in India and abroad has left me even more traumatized.

My FIL is a very sly man and he will manipulate any situation to his interest. What happens during the Second Motion Petition for Mutual Consent Divorce? Is there any way my FIL can prolong this petition? Will husband and I get a chance to reconsider without 3^rd party involvement? This can only be possible in court because everywhere else my father in law is present. He will not allow us to meet otherwise. This is why I want a closure to know if my husband really wants to let go of me? When he beat me he said he is beating me because he wants a divorce.

For the second motion of MCD if you dont want to give divorce dont give it . Than let him go ahead with contested Divorce which takes years .The better option is for both of youll to talk it out and to reconsider the matter . I understand  divorce is not so easy even though it does not cost me anything to open my big mouth and say go for MCD,Divorce is  very  painfull . By the way in which country are you .

If I had a choice I wouldn’t go for a divorce. But the husband is not behaving like an adult. After beating me up, he has hidden behind his tyrant dad who wants to run the show. Even if the husband wants a divorce – I will let him have it. But he needs to at least behave come in front of me and agree for a mutual divorce rather than us getting divorced because his father has got what he wanted?

I can use the IPC 498a against the father in law? I have proof that he has taken all my money. Can I mention this at the second motion? Will there be any counselling or will they just grant a divorce at the second motion?

there would be no counselling for second motion it will be granted if both are present and are sticking to their earlier decision. If you want to talk before divorce send a message accross that you would withdraw your consent if your husband dont come forward to talk....and he would come forward in fear of withdrawal of your consent if he is eager for divorce.

 

Did you not get a chance at the time of first motion to talk to your husband?

the husband did not turn up for anything from counselling to the first motion. his father was the one who was present, the husband got the MCD petition attested at the Indian Embassy in the country we both are residing.

all i am looking here for closure for my own self. for letting him having it all and going scott free. after taking all the marriage dowry his father has put forward a bill for marriage expense even which my father has agreed to give only to save me from this misery.

but post signing i dont see any remorse in the husband and I cannot forgive myself for letting him and his father go scott free.

then better withdraw your consent than to repent later ....once you do that the other side would definately come to you if not now then some time later as without your consent its not possible to get divorce so they would approach you then you can atleast talk . though it would definately eat up some time may be 1-2 years but if you are not in hurry then do it.

Originally posted by : Mia
	If I had a choice I wouldn’t go for a divorce. But the husband is not behaving like an adult. After beating me up, he has hidden behind his tyrant dad who wants to run the show. Even if the husband wants a divorce – I will let him have it. But he needs to at least behave come in front of me and agree for a mutual divorce rather than us getting divorced because his father has got what he wanted? I can use the IPC 498a against the father in law? I have proof that he has taken all my money. Can I mention this at the second motion? Will there be any counselling or will they just grant a divorce at the second motion?

" You can take a horse to the water but you cant make him drink   "    On one side you are still not sure as to what exactly you want first decide on that and the next step put forth your action.

" just mentioning i can make use of 498 A is of no use  "  

hello., i would like to mention that i earn around 15 thousand per month and my husband earns just the double. he does not have any dependent parents on him . only my son stays with him and he has to pay the maids at home. i have another hearing on the 19th of this month whereby my ex will be asked to submit his view. i tried talking to him politely asking him to sign the papers instead of going through all the hassels at court. but his only answer is i have lied to him all throughout my life regarding 2 extramarital relationships and since i had kept him in darkness he wont sign the papers at any cost. my prblm is i didnt want to harm him anyways but wanted a divorce peacefully since i want to resettle in my life and my lawyer filed the case without letting me know tat it wud be useful if i file some cases as 498 against him. i am in a soup now. i know he would go to all his limits to keep this case hanging for as long as he wants but my question is dont i have any way which would trigger this case and make it end? what should i do now since i know now that he does not want to resolve it peacefully? what should be my next and immediate steps. my ex is a person who is very conscious about his job and this society. he used to abuse me stating that he would take away my job any minute. but as i stated unfortunately i have not registered any case against him. so what should i do now ASAP to put that person in trouble? it is becoz i have understood he is not a person to talk and resolve things peacefully so if he is upto making my life a hell i want to make it too for him ! i want him to be in a position where he himslef will give up and sign the papers..he had abused me enuf and yes it is true i got married at 19 and he was 32 years old then..so if i had been into relationships it was his fault..he didnt give me the space i wanted be it mentally..physcially or financially..i had to go thur an emergency operation and child birth just becoz he forced me to be physicall with him ! i had been good enuf with him all this years.. but not any more..if he wants to give me pain and keep me hanging i want to know wat the ways now to make his life hell ,,i am going thru trauma and cant lead a normal life..i want him to go thru this too...i have heard female laws are strong so what the laws i can impose on him? i am sure there must be some way out to resolve this issue at teh earliest..i have kept quite fr long but not anymore..it cant happen again in society where a male can dominate a female as long as he wants! i want to knw all the possible ways to land that person in trouble and end up signing the papers...pls help