need urgent help


Preeti ji, pls follow advise of all lawyers who suggest to file 498A criminal case.  Because then you are guaranteed to get a divorce proceeding and several more years of pain in both civil and criminal case.  Filing 498A and then asking to live with husband is like accusing someone of murder and then still calling them friend.

A lawyer who suggests to get remedies under civil and criminal at the same time for your problem is like a quack doctor who gives lot of medicines to patient hoping the patient will get cured by something at least.  In any case, lawyer gets their fees


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Preeti ji, if your husband is not willing to continue the marriage, you can go for counselling. If that doesn't works, then divorce by mutual consent is the best option. Any good lawyer will give you this advise.

However there are lot of cheap lawyers, who would ill-advise you to file cases against your husband, just for their own benefits. If you file cases against your husband, be assured, that all you will gain is mental and financial pain. These cheap lawyers will drain all your resources. So beware. The cases will drag on for years, and you will keep feeding these lawyers. Go for divorce by mutual consent, and live happily !





All women who want to file 498A to get their husband back or save their marriage.

1.  Pls find statistics on success rate after filing 498A for woman to save her marriage.  Ask your lawyer if he can get statistics on that or not?

2. Pls check this official Hyderbad Police' advice for women who want to file 498A.







Fortunately, or unfortunately, most laws in India are biased against men, and awareness of the existence of these laws is woefully lacking amongst males. Remember the recent SC observation to 'obey your wives and do as you are told' - by some senior judges. You must remember, that the lure of such laws, which brings legal and illegal extortion money, is the biggest culprit for the failure of the family in the western world. The same situation is now being created in India, by innocent young wives like you, asking help form lawyers, some of whom are just wolves, out to make money. This leads to the destruction of the family. Lawyers in special, and males in general, need to wake up, and speak out against this harassment in our society.


its really unfortunate that few of the Learned visitors/ contributors have blamed Lawyers espacially the male lawyers for their matrimonial disputes.


my dear friends try to understand Lawyers are not so handsome that we can impress upon ur wives, lawyers are quite happy with their respective wives.


we lawyers do believe in saving marriages and we promote peace among the families......if u still feel suffered then its the law to be blamed.


better ask ur representatives in the Parliament and the Legislative Bodies why they have created laws which does not suit ur personality?


Legislature makes the law, Courts interpret the law, Lawyers are merely the mouthpiece of a litigant.


i would advice make a political party and contest elections on these issues itself.....may be one day one of u may become Prime Minister of India.


till then dont blame the other male(s) for ur woes, try to keep ur wives happy.


Good Luck.



I see a lot of despondence and frustration about the inability to justify and balance the andropobic laws, in your reply! But I agree that the lawyers cannot be blamed for the litigating public.

However, one cannot deny that lawyers in our country in general, have an anti-male bias, particularly when approached in a marital dispute. This animosity ranges from merely given wrong advice to 'cooperation' with the girls side. This can be seen even in your own 'unintended?' reply to 'keep ur wives happy'! ( There are countless reports of the women 'keeping the lawyer happy' indeed! )

My second point, is about your opinion, that 'lawyers do not break families'.

Lawyers should ( ethically? ) have NO business in the making or breaking of a family. ( Usually the girl has already semi-decided on that by the time she has approached a lawyer to harass her husband). 

But lawyers /judiciary must be made aware of the designs of the androphobic ( a.k.a. feminist ) forces in our country. It should not encourage the harassing of males for money - legal or illegal. It should see that divorces are not dragged on indefinitely. Those involved in fighting these cases are the bright young youth of our nation tommorrow at the PRIME of their careers. They cannot be allowed to be demoralised thus, crushing him - financially, academically and emotionally.



This debate cannot end. In every profession you will some who are not doing the job they are to do. Your experience on lawyers cannot be true for all.

Preeti - As for your query go, you have to take a decision  -Try to get back your husband or let this chapter close as he is abusive

If you decide get back your husband - In my view it is like fooling yourself, a person who abuses you will never change, He already has chosen someone else and has dumped you. He does not love you and you deserve a better life.

Close this chapter: Just divorce and you both go separate ways. Start a life afresh. Given you given so much in life and your father is no longer living please make sure that when you divorce you are rightly compensated from your husband to start life afresh. You deserve this. For this you may try mutual consent to begin with but if the husband is unwilling to listen you have to use the tools as mentioned by other lawyers (498A, DV). There is nothing wrong. Law takes its time and it will cost money hence use if it cannot be resolved mutually.

Forst of all you take a decision and then involve a person who can take this ahead for you, a trusted lawyer or someone in family.


 dear preeti,

from ur posts it is clear that you love your husband & you want him, however your husband is in love with other lady........

if you are an educated earning lady, then where is your self respect, show your husband that you are a mature lady and can handle your life on your will and are not dependant on him for anyhting be his money or be his false love,

i suggest you to leave him, believe me by freeing him from you, you are doing a grace on him, later look for a person who will give the right kind of love to you, may be, later, at some point of time, even if u come across this husband he will be ashamed for his actions of leaving you in middle of life.....& will not be able to look into ur eyes...

now considering the case of your rights.....yes legally you can get all your rights from him, decent way being filing an RCR, other way being filing DV, last resort being implicating husband in 498a if you are a lady from good culture house, you urself think, can either of the above means force a man to LOVE you, will he ever LOVE you by that, u cannot force a horse to drink water, while u can take him to the pond......when you adopt a legal recourse, things will be decided in a legal way only not as per your will n wish, he will also come out with his troubles which he may be facing from you, he will also get chance to speak & fight, thus at the end of the day it will be fight, fight, n only this you want, I don't think so......remember when you dig a grave for others you first get entangled in it....when a wife files a 498a case on husband, considering the arrests which husband n his parents undergo everyone gives sympathy to husband only & that itself makes u fall in the eyes of the society, no one gives their daugthers in houses where the daughters have filed 498a, also that to today 498a is so misused, that people understand when 498a is filed it means it is to extort the innocent husband & is that your idea, are u an extortionists who does extortion in name of implicating decent families in 498a cases......?? any educated earning lady will be ashamed to earn money in such way

what you want is either ur husband & if he is firm to leave you then you shud also look for a right love...if u r an educated earning lady, u shud consider this as bad patch of life but also show you are mature enough to not only face it, but also recover from it & come out of it & yet be settled.....




After all the women-group brainwashing, it is nt surprising at all, that you have taken the villainy of the husband ( and therefore the inappropriateness of his peace of mind ) for granted! This is unfortunately, the way our society sees things!


I would however, urge lawyers with a similar simplisitc view point, to read statistics, which show that divorce is increasing - simply as a way society is developing. There is NO one to blame for this change. It is simply happening.


Secondly, there is an urgent need, to look away from simplistic domestic violence and such ( as the androhpbic feminists would have us believe ), for the increasing divorces. The real reason, is that the man AND woman, want s*x away from this contract!


If at all there is an interest in turning these family fights ( pre divorce ), into husband-is-villain attitudes, there again is an urgent need to look at stats from no-fault-divorce states in the US which show 90% of divorces originate from THE WOMEN - with encouragement from the womens groups!


Please read for the views of modern men in America with regards -to the rip-off called marriage!





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