need urgent help

Rajesh,

I see a lot of despondence and frustration about the inability to justify and balance the andropobic laws, in your reply! But I agree that the lawyers cannot be blamed for the litigating public.

However, one cannot deny that lawyers in our country in general, have an anti-male bias, particularly when approached in a marital dispute. This animosity ranges from merely given wrong advice to 'cooperation' with the girls side. This can be seen even in your own 'unintended?' reply to 'keep ur wives happy'! ( There are countless reports of the women 'keeping the lawyer happy' indeed! )

My second point, is about your opinion, that 'lawyers do not break families'.

Lawyers should ( ethically? ) have NO business in the making or breaking of a family. ( Usually the girl has already semi-decided on that by the time she has approached a lawyer to harass her husband). 

But lawyers /judiciary must be made aware of the designs of the androphobic ( a.k.a. feminist ) forces in our country. It should not encourage the harassing of males for money - legal or illegal. It should see that divorces are not dragged on indefinitely. Those involved in fighting these cases are the bright young youth of our nation tommorrow at the PRIME of their careers. They cannot be allowed to be demoralised thus, crushing him - financially, academically and emotionally.

https://www.wowowow.com/relationships/india-independence-day-harassed-men-protest-unjust-laws-dowry-deaths-domestic-violence-womens-rights-358117?page=1%2C0#comments

A WOMENS magazine from the USA, in a hard hitting Special on Human Rights in India!

This debate cannot end. In every profession you will some who are not doing the job they are to do. Your experience on lawyers cannot be true for all.

Preeti - As for your query go, you have to take a decision  -Try to get back your husband or let this chapter close as he is abusive

If you decide get back your husband - In my view it is like fooling yourself, a person who abuses you will never change, He already has chosen someone else and has dumped you. He does not love you and you deserve a better life.

Close this chapter: Just divorce and you both go separate ways. Start a life afresh. Given you given so much in life and your father is no longer living please make sure that when you divorce you are rightly compensated from your husband to start life afresh. You deserve this. For this you may try mutual consent to begin with but if the husband is unwilling to listen you have to use the tools as mentioned by other lawyers (498A, DV). There is nothing wrong. Law takes its time and it will cost money hence use if it cannot be resolved mutually.

Forst of all you take a decision and then involve a person who can take this ahead for you, a trusted lawyer or someone in family.

 dear preeti,

from ur posts it is clear that you love your husband & you want him, however your husband is in love with other lady........

if you are an educated earning lady, then where is your self respect, show your husband that you are a mature lady and can handle your life on your will and are not dependant on him for anyhting be his money or be his false love,

i suggest you to leave him, believe me by freeing him from you, you are doing a grace on him, later look for a person who will give the right kind of love to you, may be, later, at some point of time, even if u come across this husband he will be ashamed for his actions of leaving you in middle of life.....& will not be able to look into ur eyes...

now considering the case of your rights.....yes legally you can get all your rights from him, decent way being filing an RCR, other way being filing DV, last resort being implicating husband in 498a case.....now if you are a lady from good culture house, you urself think, can either of the above means force a man to LOVE you, will he ever LOVE you by that, u cannot force a horse to drink water, while u can take him to the pond......when you adopt a legal recourse, things will be decided in a legal way only not as per your will n wish, he will also come out with his troubles which he may be facing from you, he will also get chance to speak & fight, thus at the end of the day it will be fight, fight, n only fight.......is this you want, I don't think so......remember when you dig a grave for others you first get entangled in it....when a wife files a 498a case on husband, considering the arrests which husband n his parents undergo everyone gives sympathy to husband only & that itself makes u fall in the eyes of the society, no one gives their daugthers in houses where the daughters have filed 498a, also that to today 498a is so misused, that people understand when 498a is filed it means it is to extort the innocent husband & wife.....so is that your idea, are u an extortionists who does extortion in name of implicating decent families in 498a cases......?? any educated earning lady will be ashamed to earn money in such way

what you want is either ur husband & if he is firm to leave you then you shud also look for a right love...if u r an educated earning lady, u shud consider this as bad patch of life but also show you are mature enough to not only face it, but also recover from it & come out of it & yet be settled.....

Arun,

After all the women-group brainwashing, it is nt surprising at all, that you have taken the villainy of the husband ( and therefore the inappropriateness of his peace of mind ) for granted! This is unfortunately, the way our society sees things!

I would however, urge lawyers with a similar simplisitc view point, to read statistics, which show that divorce is increasing - simply as a way society is developing. There is NO one to blame for this change. It is simply happening.

Secondly, there is an urgent need, to look away from simplistic domestic violence and such ( as the androhpbic feminists would have us believe ), for the increasing divorces. The real reason, is that the man AND woman, want s*x away from this contract!

If at all there is an interest in turning these family fights ( pre divorce ), into husband-is-villain attitudes, there again is an urgent need to look at stats from no-fault-divorce states in the US which show 90% of divorces originate from THE WOMEN - with encouragement from the womens groups!

Please read www.nomarriage.com for the views of modern men in America with regards -to the rip-off called marriage!

an advocate practises law only if he is going to earn something out of it, its his profession.....

no one will sue any other person unless if any returns are there out of it.......so be at peace,teachie.......hahhaa

It's really sad that I get to read all this here, Preeti asked for some help .... that issue seems to have vanished just because some people have had personal issues with lawyers and want to pomp pomp their own hatredness towards lawyers .... where's the sanctity gone ... are U people here to give advises or just blow ur bugle of hatredness towards lawyers .... in every profession u find good people and bad people .... Is it our fault that U just found rotten apples ... and then U want everybody here to listen to ur ill experiences & sob story ... Please try to limit urselves to answering the query put forward by any member to the best of ur ability ... that should be sole intention of ur presence in this forum.

Indian society treats women differently from men, and the legal fraternity is no different.

Some examples that come to mind are :

1. ) Women are chased and men are the ones doing the 'chasing'. This means that while women keep getting overtures and 'offers', men do not get a second 'look'. This also holds for jobs, education, promotion, etc - where beauty is preferred over 'black'.

2.) Men are always trying to impress/please women in their lives - their wives, daughters, even other peoples wives! These include, at many times, money. Even the SC recently asked all Indian males to obey their wives - like they were forced to do at their own homes!

3.) But women are not treated equally in matters of inheritance. Families prefer to give away a one-time dowry - which can be used as a double edge sword in the ever increasing divorces in India.

4.) And the most important difference - publicity. However much some males may crib on websites like these, they have hardly any political presence. Whereas, if a women is alleged to have been raped, the policemen have to act against the accused, merely because of the womens groups that have organised themselves. And womens groups are actually a mere synonym for androphobia!

Let us note these differences to hep us understand these issues better!

Things are not very much clear from yur post . But one thing u need to rem. if u want to live yur husand then you are not suppose to fill any case for any kind against him the only thing u need to do is to file RCR where u need to ask yur husband to come back ..

If u file come cases against him then it will like : throwing a atom bomb in yur house and then you expect very to be save . Which is not possible at any cost ?

Check with that gal with home you husband is living tell him full situation , request with you husband to come back .

There are many other also which i can or yur lawyer can suggest . Check with him .. or u can also mail at rajeevjain0909@rediffmail.com

All the best

Preeti ji, we all are here to provide free legal aid to the needy people and not to become the banner where you can split as per your own wish.

Every counsel has its own experience and he suggest you as per his/her knowledge but you r the best judge what to do.

Nw in your situation, i can only say plz stop all this and take an advice of any single lawyer whose advise you feel good i your situation.

If you want counseling then move to the women cell or file section 9 to get your husband back.

if you want to take a revenge from other women then it is your personal issue but we can suggest only to the extend of law that a case of bigamy can be filed if you believe that your husband has secretly married.

I can only Wish you good luck but plz stop the game of blame. We have not charged anything from you to guide you for the right path and you should be thankful for this guidence and not be so shrude.

Regards

Parthaji, and LegalTechie Ji et all

I just  bumped into this thread ...wanted to find out what this 498a was..did google search  and whalla 498a.org had it all.  My cousin is getting engaged in Jalander and tonight I am calling him up with all the info. No Engagement will take place till  we see a lawyer  . I wonder if we can do pre nups  in India.

The more people like him make these women aware of the womens legal 'right to abuse' e.g.

Woman says ...oh look so and so happened to me...answer is crisp and clear from that lawyer ..:maam move to ncw" ...

There is a limit to which these black crows can feed on NRI cows. I will spread this info to my entire class that I am teaching.

THANKS Mr Legal tech et all  I wish you good luck.

Respect

D

Dinaz,

First of all, there can be no blame on any set pf professionals, including lawyers, for what is an ( undiscovered ) malady affecting gender equality.

Lawyers, are just professionals - doing whatever the law says is correct. For eg., during the British rule, it was the rulers to be blamed for the unfair laws, and not the lawyers who carried them out. Male rights in India is hardly organised, and are constantly blamed by the media even if allegations are made against them!  How could you blame anyone, including lawyers - for that - least of all, the lawyers?

Men treat marriage like ragging :) ( incidentally, thousands of boys are raped in the name of ragging, and hardly anyone is punished, whereas even false allegations of rape of women are treated with jail - but this is a different matter altogether ). After the first year, they treat other juniors the same way they were treated while married. This behaviour can only be explained by the fact that men are competitive buyers of the commodity of s*x. This subconsiously translates into pleasing/impressing all sorts of women - wives, daughters, even other people wives!

In fact, the helplessness of most male lawyers can even be seen in some of the messages on this board - they simply have to follow the law like anyone else. Otherwise, they will lose their client, if they are unable to harass their opponents enough. Even the SC encourages men to simply obey their wives, in order to reduce litigation - the honourable judges holding up themselves as examples!

The only thing positive, is for lawyers to understand the plight of todays husband. Unlike women, however, men have no organised grouping to take out 'awareness campaigns for lawyers' for this.

There are committed lawyers I see here and there are others who feel that the more people like  you talk ,  the more they feel guilty about what they are doing and snap back.

There is a conflict of interest here sure- that favors judiciary,congress politicians and finally abusing wives.

sedate your husband, cut his hands and legs say you did it in self defence or still better .. get some guys to do it .. cover your tracks (robbery attempt is fashion nowadays :) )... cut his toungue and pull out his eyes and puncher his ear drums .. put the rod further into the ear or the ear drum's perforations will heal

z the movie urmila mathondkar and saif ali khan

that gal will leave him ..  since he has lost everything ..

you can have him .. that would be better than filing cases against him ..

if some dog asks you for dowry .. leave that dog. if you want to harass that dog and then leave it.. but dont say you love it.

whatever you do remember, he is the culprit (from what you say) so dont pull his family into this .. and understand with some maturity, love cant be won or given or taken .. it just has to happen .. so instead of waiting on one .. you can search for the one who is the one for you ..

Kamal Grover is good looking .. try him :) !!

one joke to lighten up ..

a lady on first night said .. she was very happy .. husband asked why .. she said " you see i married a doc .. he kept diagonising but didnt do anything .. i then married a sales guy he jst talked so much but again didnt do anything .. like this i married many but no one did anything .. but now that you are a lawyer .. iam sure i will be screwed properly" :) !!