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Richa (HR)     09 November 2012

Contested divorce help - urgent

 

The details: I have been married since more than 2 years and I want to take the contested divorce. My husband is not ready to give me the divorce.

The case is: 

My husband is not ready for the divorce and my family is not supporting me.We have been married but he is too doubtful and always asking for money. I am a working professional and we don't have kids. We still live in the same house but I am planning to change the house now.

 
I was in love with a person but my parents were not agree due to inter cast and he is aware of my ex partner.
Then for my parents I got married and forgot him completely. I was totally dedicated to my husband.

But his behavior was getting worse and worse. After all this, I was ready to keep this things but he did not improve. He started forcing too much for physical relations.

Now ex partner is ready to accept me and we have taken a very thoughtful and firm decision to get back together.

My husband does not know that we are together now but I want to leave him so even I can live freely. I also do not want to hurt my ex partner.

The questions are
1. The process and Required documents 
2. Time duration and fees
3. How much time it takes to file divorce case.
4. Do we need to stay separate
5. Is it possible to fight this alone as no one with me.
6. I don't want any monetary benefits so can this help.
7. Is it possible to change contested type to mutual type if he agrees
8. What if he gets the audio call tapes from the telecom company and proves that I speak to him.
9. Can he file Adultery if he gets to know about me and my ex partner

I would appreciate you can help asap.

Thanks a lot.

Richa


Learning

 14 Replies

Ranee....... (NA)     09 November 2012

This is not fair.You should not marry your present husband if you can not forget your boyfriend.You got this courage at the cost of peace of an innocent man. You need to hire an advocate and file an petition on the ground of cruelty ( you have to prove it court.) Contested divorec are of long duration and fees depends upon your advocate. As marriage is yours then nobody has to assist you. You are working , so no alimony you will get even if you ask for it! Is it possible to change contested type to mutual type if he agrees..yes.It is easy and less time consuming. What if he gets the audio call tapes from the telecom company and proves that I speak to him...you case will be weak Can he file Adultery if he gets to know about me and my ex partner..yes..but is it not easy to prove. better discuss the matter with him and make him agree for mutual.
1 Like

Ranee....... (NA)     09 November 2012

Richa's boyfreind  is ready to accept her NOW. That means she has relation with him NOW.

ANILJI, kya aapo apna reply mil gaya?

1 Like

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     09 November 2012

the aurhor has spoiled the life of her husband.

i will advise the author to get wise before it gets too late and forget her ''SO CALLED EX''

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     10 November 2012

  

Originally posted by : Richa

 

XXX
The questions are: 
First the observations on your brief:
You have no valid ‘grounds’ for Divorce. First, asking money by either spouse for needs is not grounds for mental cruelties. Atleast he is asking you as his spouse and not going out and doing acts of gigolo to raise finances for his needs then it would have been mental cruelties to you as his spouse. Second contention of yours is on his too much s*x in marriage. Well s*x is basic need of both spouses in a marriage. Some complaint of no s*x, some complaint of too much. What is marriage without s*x in it is Law so never raise this allegation in any of the proposed suit matter at all it will boom-back to you! Third contention of yours is that you gave him time to change but he never changed. Again this is no reason for divorce and does not get covered nto any of the legal 'grounds' to dissolve a marriage.

Having observed above legal positions, now I am attending your raised specific questions keeping your brief as context against above observations;
  
1. The process and Required documents 
Take
: First process is to hire an advocate via reference and narrate the marital facts. The Advocate makes the petition and does filing work annexing documents that he may think are applicable to the suit matter. Same can be supplied to him upon his asking.

2. Time duration and fees
Take: Contested divorce there is no time limit. I have seen a case of 26 years still not settled. Fess depends upon your capacity and Advocate's asking. Negotiate and settle as per a your paying capacity. If you cannot afford professional Advocates fees then every District Courts now have Legal Aid Centers approach tem and they provide almost free Legal Aid to women litigants.

3. How much time it takes to file divorce case.
Take
: Once Chamber consultation done paper work takes 2-3 days to prepare and filed on next working day.

4. Do we need to stay separate
Take: No. Except s*x between divorcing couple they can stay under same roof and even sleep on same bed. Sex during divorce proceedings condones all acts of cruelties as alleged in divorce suit matter by either spouse.

5. Is it possible to fight this alone as no one with me.
Take:
Yes, if no witness there / forthcoming to vouch truthfullness of once allegations if ground of mental cruelties alleged in suit matter then same needs to be proved 50:50 in civil matrimonial suit matters by petitioning wife as in reference to context.

6. I don't want any monetary benefits so can this help.
Take: Actually no. Law is blind it sees facts and probabilities proofs only!.

7. Is it possible to change contested type to mutual type if he agrees
Take:
For the same both spouse need to come across table halfway and agree to agree away their differences and get it over by converting contested divorce now that into MCD matter.

8. What if he gets the audio call tapes from the telecom company and proves that I speak to him.
Take:
Unless for security reasons after taking prior permission from Ministry of Home Affairs r/w Ministry of Law and Justice his and your calls are monitored, in civil Matrimonial case matters no Govt. Agency bothers to record conversations and no Cell Company gives a damn to spousal and their extra marital recordings. Hence this is next to impossible to do so.

9. Can he file Adultery if he gets to know about me and my ex partner 
Take:
Adultery is a serious offence yet almost all married wife have been left scout free as in penal punishment grounds yet if he is smart and got access to your vulnerability with your ex flame and caught on media then same he can produce making him as main accused and you as accused no. two. Your ex flame if proved by your husband will go to jail. However quality of adultery evidence are kept at higher pedestal so only you can tell how smart snooping your husband may turn out to be to book you and your ex flame under adultery charges.

 

2 Like

sanjeev pawar (service)     10 November 2012

you have spoiled the life of many people. you spoiled the life of your ownself, your husband, your ex boyfriend, your family and your husbands family as well, just think of that husband. why did you marry in the first place? he is rightt in contesting the divorce, you spoilt his life, now he will take revenge by not letting you get off so easily, think about that..............you can only plead before him

Rahul Kapoor (Legal Enthusiast)     10 November 2012

The questions are
1. The process and Required documents 
Ans. File for the divorce under section 13 of HMA and proof of valid marriage is required.
2. Time duration and fees
Ans. its depends on lawyers.
3. How much time it takes to file divorce case.
Ans. Get in touch with a lawyer.
4. Do we need to stay separate
Ans. No. untill divorce is granted u can live under same house.
5. Is it possible to fight this alone as no one with me.
Ans. Reason it yourself  then  take the step.
6. I don't want any monetary benefits so can this help.
Ans. may be
7. Is it possible to change contested type to mutual type if he agrees
Ans. Yes
8. What if he gets the audio call tapes from the telecom company and proves that I speak to him.
Ans. it can be used against you.
9. Can he file Adultery if he gets to know about me and my ex partner
Ans. under ipc 497 it can be filed against  your ex partner. 
 
 
regards-
rahul.gogreen@gmail.com

(Guest)

1. To begin with, engage a lawyer. Tell him the facts of your case and he shall draft the petition and present it to the court.

2. Contested divorce is a long drawn affair with a very bleak chance of success unless the allegations are proved to the hilt.  Do not expect it to be over before 2-3 years.

3. Takes no time. You can file it even tomorrow.

4. You need not live separate.  Living separate is not a condition precedent for filing a contested divorce.

5. You don't need to carry anyone else on the board when filing a contested divorce petition.

6. It has no nexus with a contested divorce. Would not help you.

7. Yes

8. It might crush your hopes of getting a divorce.

8. Your ex may have to face a criminal charge for adultery which in the absence of a strict proff will not stand in the court.

 


Ashish Davessar


Advocate

Supreme Court of India

Punjab and Haryana High Court

1 Like

Self service (None)     10 November 2012

Hey,

Why you are worried about divorce? Any way you are on all wrong side of moral and ethical values.

So just go head and marry to your boy friend. Inform him in written with pics of honeymoon.

Rest your husband will do, he will file for divorce and you can accept it. SO easy ...you will save all money on lawyer, court etc... much better than giving to husband....

I am feeling shame that I read your posting ..,my bad day.

Chetan Joshi (Advisory/Advocacy)     11 November 2012

Richa....

 

I agree with everyone above that One of the primary need is to engage a lawyer and a good one. I would suggest you to not take any abrupt decision since your case is not all about legality but it has to do with psycological dealings as well.....

 

No one can force you to stay with your husband if you do not wish to, the only consequence will be that your marriage with your beloved will be delayed till you get the Divorce....

 

Although I do not appreciate to what you did but at the same time I also understand the pressure that the parents create.. See if it can be worked out mutually...

 

I would like to to hear about your case update...

 

Regards

 

Chetan(dot)7679(at)gmail(dot)com


(Guest)

Hi Richa

You are no more that a peice of SHIT.

My wife has also done the same after 3 months of marriage.

She wants to run away with her ex-boyfriend leaving me behind clueless.

I also want to contest the divorce as I have lost trust from intitution of marriage and dont want to get married again.

Let me tell you one thing very frankly that the guy who is accepting you is treating you just as an option as he might not be getting any other peice of SHIT to get married.

A general remark:

A girl who enters a matrimonial home alongwith her past *unintentionally avoid physical/emotional attachement with her husband which leads to animosity and then later on she start blaming her husband like you are doing here.

One day you will definitely realise when your ex will leave you for another girl and then you will no option left other than to sell yourself.

Get a life you despearate abla-nari

Richa (HR)     12 November 2012

THANK YOU SO MUCH SIR!

VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

Richa (HR)     12 November 2012

Thank you so much!


(Guest)

Check your PM richa and reply there...

Richa (HR)     12 November 2012

Thank you all. 

While my marriage I was under too much pressure from my family and I told my ex to go away.

I told my husband and he said ok and even I was dedicated to him

Now he is harassing me mentally, asking for money, asking for s*x even when I am not well, too much violent, do not allow to go anywhere.

My ex is still waiting and he is still ready to accept me. Please advice how to keep him safe. I just want him to be safe and sound. 

Appreciate if you can help.

Thanks.

Richa


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