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indistresslady (homemaker)     05 August 2015

Can wife withdraw dv case ?

Hello Experts,

I had filed DV and crpc125 case last year. My hubby did not turn up on a single hearing but sent his lawyer once/ twice only who just requested for new dates. Now my husband wants me to withdraw the case and go back to him. Am also ready to start a conjugal life as I also have a 3 year old daughter. I have a condition that he should come atleast once in the hearing and in front of the Learned Magistrate he should sign some bond that he wont repeat DV again.Since last year, till date I religiously attended all the hearings but each time my lawyer took a new date for various reasons. Last hearing, finally I was able to tell the Learned Magistrate about my woes and it was adjourned till next date. Now my question is can I ask the Learned Magistrate that I want settlement with my husband and don’t need any money from him but an assurance that he wont repeat domestic violence again. Its very easy for a woman to file a case staying at her maternal home, but these 3 years were tough as society, laws, and my obligation towards my daughter is also important.

Kindly suggest please how can I bind my husband to take responsibilities of both of us legally.

Thanks,
Distressed Lady.

 



Learning

 17 Replies

FightForCause (Businessman)     05 August 2015

Hi,

You can withdraw the case anytime during its pendency.

Your efforts to get ur husband to court and make him write something in your favour will not work, but only cast doubts in your husband mind.

If he is ready to start even after u have taken him to court, then give it a serious thought.

If he do violence again u can again put cases, or even if he gives an undertaking that he will not do Dv there's no gaurantee he will not do it.

 

Love of child and seperation with you for long would have made him realise ur value....now u also respect him in all ways ....by God's grace ur life will be smooth henceforth..

 

 

All the best

 

I am not a lawyer... but gone through DV case.

Adv. Pandit (Practicing Advocate)     06 August 2015

Hi,

If I was to guide you as your Advocate, I would urge you to consider carefully initiating withdrawal of a DV matter on your own behest. Your Husband, should he chose to reconcile diferrences has an option to make an application for Mediating under the Act and then the matter can be settled as per consent terms mutually accepted and recorded, Thus, let him come forward and show his honest intentions before the Court.

In the alternative, should you chose to withdraw your DV case, you can make an application craving leave to do so for reasons explained therein. However, do bear in mind that once the case is withdrawn by you, this can be used as a safegaurd by your husband to later get away with any DV relapses. Excercise caution in your descision, since you will be deciding for yourself and your child. Best of luck.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     06 August 2015

 

Hello InDistressLady,

 

You asked "Kindly suggest please how can I bind my husband to take responsibilities of both of us legally.".

 

You can even walk using your head ....

 

but ...

 

"You or any wife Can NEVER Force Her Husband Legally to behave responsibly."

 

 

You will break the relationship irrevocably.

 

 
All women going to police station or court are going with this assumption and loosing the trust and love of their husband for ever,

 

 

Please do not demand any letter of assurance from your husband.

 

 

Such a letter is not logally valid and you will only make your husband MoreAggressive.

 

 

You should be happy that your husband is calling you back.

 

 

Use the opportunity to join him unconditionally for the sake of your daughter.

 

 

No man in this world can be believed to take care of your daughter well than your husband.

 

It is the right of your daughter to live with both of her parents.

 

Respect your daughter's right and dignity. Do not drag her to court.

 

Join your husband and forget all the past in the court halls.

 

 

But if you lost all trust and love of your husband, you can choose to live separately for some more time.

 

 

But you should give 100% absolute access of your daughter to your husband.

 

 

And hope that you both will be able forget ego and the bad past and unite sooner.

 

 

But, Never Ever believe that law, lawyers, judges, courts will unite both of you.

 

The law, layers, udges and courts can be used only to break the marriage not to save the marriage.

 

Your daughter is precious madam. Give her "her birthright". Give her "her father".

 

 

 

 

indistresslady (homemaker)     06 August 2015

Thank You Everybody for your expert and valuable comments.

From Legal Perspective, Adv. Pandit is correct and my lawyer also suggested the same. 

FightForCause and Mr Prasad : As a layman I also think from this point of view that I should go back to my husband for sake of my daughter and start afresh.  Now thing is my husband resides in another city and if I decide to go back with him leaving my maternal family, who are totally against my decision. Tomorrow, if anything happens, who knows then who will take the risk. I am really feeing insecure, but at time I love my husband very much . My husband is telling me to dissolve the case and go back to him and he's not ready to give any legal security.

Is there anyone who have gone through DV and after withdrawal of case are living happily? Kindly share your experience please.

 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     06 August 2015

Hello Ma'm....

 

You love your daughter as well as your your husband.

 

That is very important than what law and lawyers say.

 

Law does not understand love at all. Law is materialistic.

 

It can force your husband to give money to you and your daughter but not his love.

 

So, please keep the legality away and in fact throw it far away.

 

You did not provide details on why you filed DV and 125 CrPC.

 

Assumimg he really gave you pain, now, he seems to have realized.

 

This is very rare. Most of the husbands reject their DV-125 wives for ever and will file divorce case.

 

Give love a chance.

 

It is very much worthy to give a chance.

 

First, go ahead and tear that DV case on him.

 

That is the first good step for your daughter's good.

 

Then don't be in a hurry to join him.

 

Try to talk to him in person in the presence of friends and well wishers.

 

Write a love letter to him. Also help your daughter write few words to him in the same letter.

 

Meanwhile, give your husband 100% absolute access to your daughter.

 

Be patient.

 

Because, with DV case and 125 CriminalProcedureCode, you have projected your daughter's father as a criminal.

 

You have caused him as much or more pain as much he caused to you.

 

So, both of you need time to forget the past.

 

If you keep the legal case alive, you will kill your husband's love and your daughter's right for ever.

 

At this age, you are in your parents house along with your father and mother. 

 

But you have denied your 3 year old daughter the access to her father.

 

Why are you so rude to your daughter?

 

I wish your daughter is able to file DV on you and your parents for separating her from her father.

 

But your daughter cannot file such cases.

 

And it is your responsibility to create trust in your aged parents as well.

 

All the good hearts in this forum wish that you start living happily with your daughter and husband sooner.

sandeep   07 August 2015

Please dont go. The man never change. The dv culprits have deep psychological problems. Its just the pressure that is forcing him to talk. I have seen cases where girls hv gone bck & nvr stayed happily insteD husband called just to take revenge so please dont do it. Move on in life study&earn. Its not just about you but also about your daughter,what if hr hits her also?a child canot b happy where fights happen. She wl get fin. Support but your husband will not give her emotional support?Also plsase chk your inbox ihv msgd you.
1 Like

Born Fighter (xxx)     07 August 2015

I go by advice of Mr Prasad.

Mr Sandeep, you said "man never change", are you also one among them ?? You cannot generalize your views and advice others. The lady here would have a completely different case and story which only she and her husband would know.

Madam, you seem to have good intentions wrt uniting with your husband for sake of daughter. Give time to the relationship rather than immediately packing your bags and joining your husband. Take a break from case for 3-6months rather than closing it. See how the relation moves and then decide.

"A known devil is better than an unknown".....keep hoping and keep changing with times for better

 

All the Best !!

 

indistresslady (homemaker)     07 August 2015

Well, let me also mention that in 2011 I had been abused and assaulted by my husband when I was newly married. I was seriously injured and had stitches on my eye. So I left him and came back to my paternal home and stayed away from him for 3 months. During this period he apologized and promised that he will never repeat againTo save my marriage I went back to him. This is second time he assaulted me when I was expecting my baby.

So this time I couldn’t forgive him and by the advise of family and friends I filed DV against him. Again he's saying to come back, so I am confused whether I should give a chance again or not as we are separated for 2 years .

 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     07 August 2015

Hello Madam...

 

You have to now tell the truth. 

 

Is your husband mad to assault to you? Or Did you hurt him anyway?

 

Remember ma'm. Women are very god in hurting a man with simple words.

 

And man, being physicaly strong, assaults back physically.

 

So, please tell the truth if you hurt him anyway.

 

If he has assaulted you without you hurting him anyway, then he is either mad or arrogant.

 

Eitherway you are right in filing DV on him.

 

If he retaliated for you, hurted him, then you should realize your mistake as well.

 

Because nobody can see how a man's mind is broken and hurt but everybody can see physical wound on a woman.

 

I am not saying physical assault is correct response by a husband.

 

I am saying that certain men have very low tolerance for the hurt from their wife.

 

So, please do self retrospection keeping your daughter in mind.

 

Your daughter's best guard can be only your husband. No one else. No one else.

 

 

 

 

 

SuperHero (Manager)     08 August 2015

@indistresslady - I am sorry for what you have gone through. Physical abuse is not acceptable. 

After reading all the replies.

I would suggest go talk to him and stay for few weeks, see whether his behaviour has changed or not.

Please note if he is angry or mad at you for some reason or other, then leave that place immediately. 

Suggest he should get some counselling for his behvaioural issues. Anger Management is a new terminology in Pyschology.

Most importantly does he repent for his mistakes done and he should promise that he will not repeat it again ever. Both of you are responsible for your daughter upbringing. 

I know it is difficult to Forgive and Forget. But it is possible. 

Also say incase if you don't join him. Then the next step is div and maintenance. 

Then What next? Think and rethink yourself. 

You both should solve your problems yourselves.

If unable to solve take the help of Elders, Friends and Relatives.

“Four things come not back: the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life and the neglected opportunity.”

Time and Tide Waits for None.

 

 

deep (deep)     08 August 2015

My words would be difficult to digest, but choice is yours, ideally, stay away from  a husband who treats his wife like an animal, whereas treating everyone else around him differently n nicely .  But, as living in our Indian society, family ,, its better to go back  n let  the child get love from both parents

1 Like

Born Fighter (xxx)     08 August 2015

your husband needs to get some psychological counselling for Anger Management (if its true that he physically has hurted you). Trust me , this will work, he needs to accept that he has a problem and he needs to overcome it to save the marriage.

If he agrees for the above then i think he deserves a second chance, n your marriage needs a second chance as well. You both need to change , deep introspection and acceptance will be the first step towards a healthy reconciliation.

Do one thing you both go to a Marriage counsellor for advice, let the counsellor suggest your husband for counselling on Anger Management rather than you telling him. There is hope, dont give up !

All the Best !!!

indistresslady (homemaker)     08 August 2015

Well, my husband is loving, caring and at same time very abusive, violent in nature. He is very possessive and suspicious. I am an educated, qualified Software Professional but still am a Indian woman. My heart still drags towards my husband. I was always very loyal to him, but he is very suspicious and blames me even if any other man would glance or speak to me. Is it my fault?  Also he was jobless, that time and I supported him financially but he insisted to ask money from my father always. He even posted his profile on Matrimony websites and gave me the ID too. Isn’t that strange?

Now he’s got a job and he wants us back. So I think maybe he was tensed so would vent out his anger on me. Will u believe ours was a Love marriage though we are from different cities. At this stage, I can’t go for job leaving my daughter cause I want to focus on her right now. My family has been running on financial crisis and I don’t want to be a burden on them, but still they insist me to leave my husband. Right now as other members here advised me I should think about my daughter,,,which I am very focused now.  So trying to save my marriage and future for my child.

Just want to know how can I file a petition to withdraw my case, Is presence of my husband necessary in court?

Once again, Thank You to all the members here who invested their valuable time to listen to my woes and advise me. God Bless you All !!!


(Guest)

Yes wife can, but usually wont, if you did withdraw also no use now, now cloth torn, thorn pierced. Now you go back, they finish you and show you real DV. Natural tendency of humans. First go do pooja to the fellow/lawyer who convinced you to sign to file DV case, coz of him or her you destroyed your own life.

Now find someone else and take divorce, but dont tell new person that you filed DV etc or else nobody marry you and you be left alone.  Good luck.

 

God, I dint read the latest post. You got child also and you filed DV? go save your marriage. that too girl child, be good role model for your dotter, like this you will be spoiilng your dotters life.  Go back to husband and live happily. How to handle such a husband you should have learnt by now, how men's mind work first understand, then everything easy, leave decision making to the MAN of the house, rest will be fine. Give in to get the family going.  Go lady go.  All the best.


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