Being victimised on account of 498a/dv, need help..

@author

your 'humiliation' concern:

it is a criminal case and prosecution has to prove the case beyond reasonable doubt.

the accused (your bro etc.) will have an innocent face and remain silent in the court.

a good criminal lawyer can expose your wife and the 498a gang, he or she can literally

RAPE the 498a gang in the court. it is possible to prove that 498a gang just used

their daughter as prostitute in the court. even I can do that. so an experience lawyer can rip them into p

ieces. there are cases where the girl is under the influence of her parents etc. so advocates dont want

any kind of character assassination. if the girl is also at fault, then forget all sharafat.

THEY will be humiliated my friend, so

dont worry, keep smiling.

Dear Jitender,
One can understand the sadness you, your brother, family is facing.
I can't say much on this 498A act, but reading comments above, Please bear this in mind, whatever you do, you would do your best for your family....
But
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Never try to stretch the issue till you get another woman in his life, it wont be fair on his spirit, it takes time to heal and accept another woman, the pain/experience will not permit him to do justice to another woman, and this emotional anchorage will destroy him and his next wife, perhaps another journey of intense damage, try not to seek a woman to find a solution to end the fight...It will take him a long time to heal...and trust another woman...
Your friends may support you in anyway, but dont let anyones short sightedness destroy your brothers life once again...and then a new woman would be in his life, she will need nurture, and when she is not nurtured, she may react and destroy him further...Take time for such decisions please...rest you/your brother would know what to do...I just suggest....'If I were in his shoes'

oh no ! not again.

>>>try not to seek a woman to find a solution to end the fight.

seek woman to find a solution? huh?

>>short sightedness

Jitender, I dont understand this comment, if you do please pay 10L and go for settlement may be

@sunaina can help you in arranging for the same since your bro is unemployed :)

and maybe once your brother pays the money, the pain and experience will help him in doing

justice to his new imaginary wife.

>>destroy him further

jitender, your brother should of course be honest and tell his next wife about this unfortuante event in his life.

if she is a good person, she will sympathise and nurture your brother, help him recover.

if she wants to destroy him further, is she any better than the first wife?

all this is hypothetical, just decide whether you want to fight the case or surrender right now.

dont think about next wife, all that is secondary and a future possibility.

Oh! Yes!!!
As said-
jitender, your brother should of course be honest and tell his next wife about this unfortuante event in his life.
 if she is a good person, she will sympathise and nurture your brother, help him recover

------
'Pity leads to exploitation not Justice or real love and nurture'
This is where errrors take place and blunder after blunders...A woman is not paracetamol 'Smile'- neither is a man!!

---
.
Another point-as simple as possible..
Women are seen as demons 'Bi**h' in such a state of mind, how can one fluctuate between a demonic idol and change that same idol to a good person in a short span?
There is no short cut to 'Nurture' & 'Love'
---

Well its non of my business what anyone does...I just expressed what I thought- may/may not make sense!!

what is p[rofession of your brothe3r, whether Govt employed?

In 10 L you can hire two lawyer for next 10 years who can fight cases for you. Why to worry ?? Let the case go on..

If they have asked for this amount means they are more than willing to part ways, its just matter of time till which you can hold on / withstand pressure. One - two year very good fight will ensure settlement on your terms. Think about it !

Morever aged peoples and other accuses are not mandatory to be present in court for all cases / all dates. This otpion can also be used to reduce commutational stres...

You opt to pay would simply mean that it was your fault. Then we shouldnt talk about public image and all..

Choice is yours !!

Few more things that I failed to quote in my earlier post.

1. The girl's mother in our meeting informed that girl has already left the job.  Though she quoted it recently but we sense it may be a month back. She said that her daughter has two offers , one in hybd and another in chennai. But, I wonder, if the offers are out of state, how can she fight a case.  Doesn't she need to appear in court with us if we proceed to fight the case? or may be they are just faking it.

2.  In CAW, girl was abusing a lot to my bro and he was just quiet. But two things that girl was saying clearly

      a.     She has no issues against any family members, but she will make sure to  punish my brother. Now, whether she is playing tricks we don't know as we don't have a copy of her complaint. FIR has not yet been registered it seems. Is there any way we can get a copy of complaint filed in CAW. The girl has changed her statements  in CAW during multiple meets. Nobody in CAW said a word about it. Are there chances that FIR registered may be fool proof as my bro said if they see the original complain, there were lot of places she said things wrong (against her).
 

b.    She clearly said in last visit that I dont' want any alimony from my brother as he is not earning. IO was trying to persuade her to go for alimony but she was declining. Again, we dont' know if that is a trick , since now she has left her job and we have no idea if she will be working, has any offer or just making fool of us.

2. The legal advisor that we consulted clearly said that in fighting the case for 3-4 yrs, you may have to pay around 8-10L to lawyers of yours and (may be to girls lawyer if she is not working). If maintenance is claimed, she may have chance to get some minimum maintenance as well and there could be other miscellaneous charges.  We have no idea how much does a good criminal lawyer charge for such cases.

If any of you have already passed through this phase recently or even in recent past, would you please help us in estimating some realistic figure for fighting a case as against 10L settlement. If you are no comfortable to share publically, I still request if you can send a PM or email us directly. It would be great help.

We are respectable family, and dont' want to lose respect. Someone rightly said, by paying 10L it may not bring that respect that we understand and of course 10L is not an amount we can arrange even within a year.

Regarding my brothers job, he was working in private firm at good position earning I guess 80k pm.  The girl was earning 40K that he told me but may have got uprise (no idea).

--

A beg to correct on salary part... I checked with my brother and he mentioned his last drawn salary was 60K that too almost an year back when he had to leave company due to some office politics.

@sunaina

>> paracetamol

i wouldn't want to go into a debate on relationships and what  people in love owe to each other. that is upto the individuals.

values, commitment and tolerance have gone down everywhere, so the benchmark is very low now.

>> demonic ....

!! Exaggeration AND Generalization!! Even someone badly burnt by 498a will NOT view  women in that light.

may be the perpetrators. He will  be cautious of course but natural. On this forum itself, many 498a victims are

giving positive feedback to lot of women who filed 498a ! have you seen how they address those women? "dear  this" "dear that" "god bless". forget demonic, i think the 498a victims have momentary reactions and it subsides in a short while. they go back to treating women like they used to before - with respect or whatever.

>>express

you are every right to do so... so keep your views coming. helps us to undersand various prespectives. enjoy your sunday :)

@Jitender

looking at your last post,  i feel your decision is purely a financial decision. so looks like no point in talking about fighting and et. all.

498a gang will talk many things and change there statements every now and then, it is useless to analyze. they are driven

by greed and vengeance, not rational thinking.