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raj malhotra (M.D)     02 October 2011

Am i still alive????

sometimes life creates circumstances when we dont understand whts our motive to be in this world ?some same type of questions run in to my mind every moment...when i was a mom and dad used to love me very much..they gave me evrything i needed...time passed and i was in my unlucky day my mom and dad left me alone in this cruel world...i was alone everyone around tried to take advantage of me...i was just 17 at that time...that day i was also dead somewhere inside...but my mom and dads dreams made me to live n struggle...some of near ones supported me and after being in shock of losing my parents for yrs i started living again...stood up  on my feet and thought one fine day one woman will come in to my life who will give me love of a wife and every relation which i deserve to have in when i was 27 i got married to a happened ona fine day last year..i was very happy to have my own family...but time had something else for me...wife instead of loving me and making me strong,she tried to use my weakness...u know wht that weakness was my loneliness in life and love for her...she used evrything she can do to trouble with holding s*x,trying to seperate me from my close guardians...and on one fine day..she left me,blamed me,harassed me mentally,socially and financially....but i still love her very much...cant even think of living without her..

now from more than one yr im away from her,first motion is passed ...i have discovered that nobody can help ...not even law or judges or society...u must be thinking that why iam writing these things here...i dont want any legal remedy bcs i know it doesnt exists..specially if wife is unwilling...

but as i know all members of this website r vry mature and experienced persons..i just want to know wht shuld i expect from life???i still spend sleepless nights...i dont need any psychiatrist...i just want to know am i still alive???


 17 Replies

Manav Kalia (Arguing my own cases..)     02 October 2011

You need to focus on something else urgently. Your wife is gone. Take a reality check. Find happiness in work or friends. Give it time. Everything can change in life. Don't lose hope. With courage you can move mountains..All the best.... :-)
1 Like



As a compassionate person, I can feel the problem you are going through.

These troubled  times are hard,  indeed very hard. People in these situation  looses reference point, the very reference points that we take to define ourselves. Help does not come from many quarters, but you get blames, deserving and not  so deserving. 


 On positive side, it gives us time to ponder - to ask some basic questions.  Who are you? What is the purpose of your life? were your life purpose contingent upon the people  who were surrounding you?


I am about 2 years senior to you in the wife going away cycle. I am seperated from her for last three years. I have pondered over above myself and found my purpose of life - I have been able to frame workable purpose for my life - it includes both personnel and public. I have been working on those  and to tell you some results.


1. I am a long distance runner now - Have recently run half marathon( 21.6 km) - Before marriage I never ran more than 1/2(0.5)  km.


2. Have started contributing to social welfare in my small ways -  there at least 10 economically  un priviledged students getting professional education now. Have been working on a few other fronts as well.


I would like to see whether I can be any help to you.  PM me if you would like to talk.


1 Like


Dear Raj,

Please don't be so desperate.

Forget this unhappy relationship  because you deserve better one.Get yourself engaged in some other constructive work.Read good  books, view good movies and if possible slowly change everything that reminds you of her.The world is so big and Almighty must have arranged somthing special for you where your cruel wife has no space for her.

Have a great Navaratri! 

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Dear Raj,

Watch the movie.."The Shawshank Redemption"...

There are two dialogues in the movie which I have liked...(1) "hope is a good thing"..and (2)" get busy living or get busy dying"..

Watch the movie...


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If you have ever had a dream....start dreaming about that again...start small steps towards that dream...make the dream your driving force...whatever may be the dream..start the meam time take care of the cases...

Do not waste day when you are will regret that you have wasted so much time..

Think about earning money..etc etc...

start taking good care about yourself...

Think about spending the rest of your life in "Zihuatanejo"...(a small town by the pacific ocean in Mexico).

The more you dream..the chances are more that they come you dont they will never...

I have done it this way....



Remember Always..

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"



Shailesh Kr. Shah (Advocate)     02 October 2011

Forgot you past.Live in present.

always be happy.

1 Like

raj malhotra (M.D)     02 October 2011

one thing which disturbs me the most is whts my fault??why im suffering bcs of others bad intention?

Aishwarya (Teacher)     02 October 2011

Its not your fault not anyones fault Raj hona tha woh likha tha..socho isse bura bhi ho sakta hai isse accha bhi ho skata hai life mein..

dont expect anything u do whats in ur hand at ur job go out with frnds , meet people , date some girls , meet ur relatives , do some charity, teach lil kids, give food to poor n needy, aur is dauran sochte raho ki uve got plenty of those things that others might not have..

remb life kaisi bhi hai koi tumhe aisa milega ki hi jo tumko dekhe tumhari jagah lena chaega..apni zindagi hamesha acchi banao ..khud me vishwas rakho and become key to ur own happiness..dusro ko khush rakhoge toh shayad tumko kabhi koi bhula nahi sakega..u be the reason for someones smile..dont find others kyunki sab dukhi hai aajkal..

its best u make meaning out of ur life..the one whos gone forget her its not easy but u shud try..and look for new people someone new in life..and make the best of spare time u have in life..

never sit idle, keep doing one thing or the other..

theres a website as WWW.TED.COM

ull find loads of inspiration frm thr..

kehna asaan hai karna mushkil but another thing ..remb we just got one life aage piche kal ka pata nahi kya its best to make every second count and telling u akhri saans lete hue sab yaad ayega fir sochoge..sala masti nahyi kiya puri zindagi aisie hi kat dont regret whts happened iska jawab nahi hai ki WHY ME or WHY IT HAD TO BE WITH U..

sabka apna apna share hai .and i think these events happened to make us more strong and be something in life..

so go ahead n dont forget to keep a smile on ur face..

ALl the best


you know Raj..let some time will have answers to all your questions....

I can guarantee..if you utilise this shall be a changed person for the better..

Just carry on...

Aishwarya (Teacher)     02 October 2011

i agree wid dannie...

1 Like

kumar t v s (advocate)     02 October 2011



I have a small story that was told by Bhagwan Sri Satya Sai Baba. A learned brahman was invited to a function at puttaparthy and after the programme there was a feast organised for all participants. The room in which the visitor was lodged over looked a ground in which a dustbin was placed. This visitor saw some young poor children searching for leftovers and eating them. This visitor got upset by the sight and decided to avoid going to the feast and return to his village. When he went to take leave, Swamy told him “ you can only see the poor boys present, but in their previous births they have not cared for food, have thrown it carelessly. Now they are searching for the same”.

The story may have been told by Swamy and we need not change our opinions about him, but the central theme or the message is to be borne in mind. Things that happen to us and for which we do not find answers are part of divine plan. The fact that we are still alive and breathing itself suggests that there is a lot of work pending that needs to be done by us. The day our work on this earth is complete we will automatically not exist.  

Dear Raj Malhotra please remember “ The woods are lovely dark and deep, but you have miles to go before you sleep”. It may have been stated in a different context buy apply it to your present status and start moving. 

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hey... dont think like a loser... open a new page... get up at 4 am and take a walk... githa says... why ask for attachment and why cry for loss of attachment... pick up her photo and garland her... and everything of her... stand in front of mirror and start smiling, join laughing club, pick up a mobile and advise self whatever you want to say negative or positive... in the morning delete all negative and practice positives... life is to live... all animals do... god created us like animals... we presume we are superior... but not at all... thats our ego... we die like them... so live life smiling... ensure you give back smile to every small kid... especially below 3 years cuties... keep your pockets with choclates... give them and you get back smiles... those are worth your worries...

1 Like

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     02 October 2011

Read "Colors of perception - Varnas.doc" in this weblink :

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