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Richu (ad)     28 November 2010

Advocate notice Reply

After marriage I had been in a joint family where all harrassed me for dowry and insulted me for nothing. All used to keep me away from my husband. Even my husband is cruel. He was very cruel towards me about dowry and even insulted me many times infront of his relatives. They received more dowry from me as compared to their other children but they finished my dowry and kept others and insults me that I brought nothing as others dowry is still now kept for them whose value is increasing day by day. He drinks and had relations with prostitutes and other girls. Even before marriage and after too. He himself told this. He and his parents and even grand parents warned me that I have no right to use my husbands money and also that I should never ask any money but I must spend my parents money only. Due to this warn I stopped asking anything though my husband insulted me that I must wear expensive dresses by bringing from my parents home etc etc.

My husband send me to my parents home about 12 yrs back. I had a female child in my parents home. He used to visit once in an year. In between a gap of 5 yrs. He never gave any money for me or child. nstead he always expected from us. But we stopped that.

First he wanted me to go and live with his parents so that he may not spend any money for his family ie all the care will be taken by his father, for which I refused as I was scared very much as they never accepted me as their family member. To come outside of all these troubles I requested my husband to live separately. But he refused even to talk about the topic of living together. So I was very much hurt and slowely I stopped thinking  to settle and live with him. But he just comes here and never talks about living together. So now from past 2- 3 yrs I stopped talking to him due to which he started thinking to live separately.

I asked him about his affairs now. He said he have relations with one girl with name. From then I felt he died for me. Now he started bringing his relatives and fiends to convince me to live with him. But for me there is no place for him. So I am quite. Being confused what to do I did nothing. But still I feel if I will apply for divorce then he may feel bad. So I am quite. But now I am ready for anything.

So now he send a notice from his advocate that "I must join him within 20 days or else he will file a restitution conjugal rights petition in proper court for proper remedy.and you will be liable for the consequences thereon."

I would like to know that  as I do not want to go there and live with him, what should be done. One of the lawyer said I delay this and file 125. Another said reply is must. What should be done? If I will not reply then what can happen? I suffered a lot but the blame is on me that I am not understanding the situation and has left such nice, good and caring person. If he is caring then why he never cared about me or child?


 15 Replies

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     28 November 2010

Dear Richu, 

In this forum expect reaction from some, nay, many,  that what you are telling is a pack of lies! 

However, you will receive relevant and good advise too, so prepare yourself for all negatives and positives of this forum. In short, develop a very very thick skin...

That said, I would suggest  you file a domestic violence case fast. Your story is the story of many many women out there who suffer multiple forms of violence silently,  due to several reasons, go through a lot of humiliations but remain quiet till they found themselves dead within. 

From which State are you and from which city? 

Wait for the response of legal experts( I am not an advocate) and be selective on whose advice to choose to protect your self respect, dignity and not the least your human rights. 


2 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     28 November 2010

you shud first make up ur mind abt wot u want...if u want a divorce,file for it.if not,file DV case against him and all those abusive family members and and seek protection orders,maintenance and compensation for harassment so  that they dont harss u further.still i shl say wait for adviceo of lawyers in this forum..

2 Like

Nu.Delhi.Law.Fora. (Advocate-on-Record Supreme Court of India)     28 November 2010

Dear Querist,


Facts appears to point towards more of cruelty that subjected you for long time now. It also appears from the facts that a DV case is fit enough for you to institute. However, you may note that besides narrating facts and figures, preparartion of list of events would be of your help in long term without much toils. Secondly, you may reply to said notice. But, before that you may fortify your facts with correct/exact dates and events. Otherwise, in a given situation, if your facts are not corroborated with evidences, your exercises may proove futile.


Thirdly, while replying notice received from his advocate, you make every point clear. for both divorce, if you so desire, and for DV as well.


Fourthly, while taking such steps, please move appropriate application Section 125 maintenance from your husband for both you and your child.


And while doing so, please also consult, if you so feel necessary,  a lawyer of your choice. 


Trust this would be fine.

1 Like

Richu (ad)     28 November 2010

Thanks for your reply. I would also like to know about the reply. Can the reply be send by my own by my signature or is it must to be send by an advocate as he did.

I am awaiting for more of your advises. When I searched on the net it is mentioned that filing restitution conjugal rights petition will lead to the punishment by court even imprisoned. This means when they will go to court, this this may lead to my punishment if court will find me guilty of not joining my husband without any reason.

So, I think to avoid such punishment, it is must to do some effort immediately. What should be filed now to avoid such punishment. Filing DV or 125 may not stop his filing and may lead to punishment. Or filing DV or 125 may help me in this situation. Or else I can file divorce to stop such punishment. Actually he is in another state. If such situation comes can I shift the case here and file for divorce or DV etc. By filing divorce he will not give anything.But I am readu for that.

Nu.Delhi.Law.Fora. (Advocate-on-Record Supreme Court of India)     28 November 2010

Dear Querist,


You may file DV complaint case and then Divorce Suit in a place where you are now residing. Section 125 maintenance you may ask for if divorce suit is not pending. As advised, you may reply to said legal notice and that may be done so either by yourself or by an advocate.

As I understand from the facts, I am of the view that apprehended RCR petition being instituted may not cause any harm/punishment to you.

You may also think of getting the case transferred by moving separate transfer petition in Hon'ble Supreme Court.


Trust this would be fine.


First of all, you have to give reply to the legal notice sent to you by your husband.  You have to give full details, which caused you to be separated from matrimonial home and lead a sngle woman life with dates and events.  For this you have to take the assistance of a good and experienced advocate, who can draft the reply properly.

Next, your understanding about restitution of conjugal rights is totally wrong.  It does not carry with any punishment.  If your husband succeeds in this case also, the court cannot forciably send you to your husband against your wishes neither the court put you in jail nor levy any penalty against you. Hence, rest assured.

If you want divorce, you can file divorce petition from the place, where you are living at present.  Later on, if you approach the Supreme Court, your husband's restitution petition will be transferred to your place where your divorce petition is pending.

Now, I do not suggest Section 125 cr.P.C.  Instead of that I suggest you to move application under domestic violence Act from the place where you are living at present seeking the maintenance for yourself and your child.

Finally, I suggest you to engage a good and gender sensitive advocate, who can understand the women's problems properly and guide you properly.

Wish you best of luck. 

1 Like

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     28 November 2010

As I understand from the facts, I am of the view that apprehended RCR petition being instituted may not cause any harm/punishment to you.


Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     28 November 2010

the court cannot forciably send you to your husband against your wishes



Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     28 November 2010



Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     28 November 2010

. . . THAN MUD . . .

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     28 November 2010

according to some people,if a man tortures his wife & conspires with his family to illtreat her or take away her streedhan,their wives shud act like divine beings by not standing up against them.


they shud be devis by forgiving them and parting thru mutual that such men and their greedy families never learn what morality is,and repeat their sins with the second partner also....


this is wot women have been doing for ages...forgiving such sins and not taking action.and the result is passing of 498A,DV act etc...and now these very abusive men + their families have taken rebirth in this life and suffering the results of their past sins by getting sued in these cases..



Self service (None)     28 November 2010

"My husband send me to my parents home about 12 yrs back. I had a female child in my parents home. He used to visit once in an year. In between a gap of 5 yrs. He never gave any money for me or child. nstead he always expected from us. But we stopped that."

From above statement your case is beyond law for all practical reasons. You need divorce? after 12 yr of seperation? or you need maintenance? You want to keep(dead) realtionship? decide first...

If you dont want maintenance as a long period passed and you are living on own better ignore all leaglities. Money and time you are going to spend in court and lawyer spend with daughter and on her future.

Ignore all notices... 12 year is big time???

DR.SANAT KUMAR DASH (Eye Specialist)     29 November 2010

If    you     are     interested   with    your    Husband,    give    reply     to   his   RCR   notice   &    LIVE    a    long   life.   If     not   interested    then    consult   your    Lawyer    in    the    locality   &    file    Maintenance   Suit   u/s   125   Cr.P.C.   and   also   Divorce   Suit.     IT    IS    YOU   TO    DECIDE.

1 Like

ashish lal (Advocacy)     06 December 2010

File a divorce case and 125 CrPC for maintenance. No need to be worry from your husband's notice. Dont worry as  most of the Matrimonial laws favour wife

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