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beingindian   06 June 2015

Father intimate affair

My parents are happily married for over 25 years. My father is a central government employee who is going to retire in a couple of years. Unfortunately he had an illegetimate relationship with a woman who was married to one of his colleagues. This went around for one and a half year until my mother found out about it and it almost took us a year to try and convince our dad to maintain distance from that woman. He realised his mistake and tried to step back from her. But that woman has been calling him alot. He tried to  avoid her. Finally she stopped calling him and we were living happily but after atleast 4-5 months my father recently received a call from her husband who claims he knows everything. my father told him he was busy and will talk later. 

 My father is a good person, who does charity and everything. Yes, he did make a mistake but that woman made a mistake too. 

My question is how should my family and my father handle this situation? How should we handle that woman and her husband if they try to contact us or threaten us or my father?

Its a request to please give your suggestions or legal advices regarding how to handle such situation. and please avoid judging my father's character. He made a mistake but he wants to correct that mistake.

thanks



Learning

 17 Replies

Adv.Vandana Vaidya (Advocate & Regd. Patent Attorney)     06 June 2015

Well, best way is to deny the whole thing, whatever, her husband claims, is a hearsay story from his wife and not from anybody else nor he would have any proofs to prove this relationship. Just keep out of it and tell in a firm voice it's utterly wrong what he has heard.

1 Like

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     06 June 2015

first ask your father any proof are there with her like photos, messages through mails etc., which make a lot of sense like evidences which may take legal turn in their hands to harass your father

1 Like

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     06 June 2015

Though what UR father has done is wrong both legally and morally,for the sake of UR family,and if all of u feel that he is a changed person,let him deny everything.Hope he has not left any evidences at the time of that relationship.

beingindian   06 June 2015

there are no photos with her, but she may have sms conversations plus they visited some hotel as well. I feel like she or her husband will blackmail my father for money but i am not sure. So please tell the sections under which this scenario comes legally.

Also, what should we do in case she or her husband blackmail us or threaten us.

Can she claim to our property or something?

please respond..thanks

Rocky Smith (Instructor @ Calcutta (rockysmith4calcutta@gmail.com))     07 June 2015

They can't claim any property. SMS conversation and hotel visiting is an evidence of good friendship between couple however, not enough to prove adultery ( 497 IPC) so don’t worry.

 

 Always deny about any physical relationship between them over phone or whatever media.

 

You should register a GDE / NC in your local police station about their threading over phone (Denying or without disclosing any physical relationship between them) to be in safe side.

1 Like

Dr J C Vashista (Advocate)     08 June 2015

It is a hypothetical story and no case can be made out.

1 Like

beingindian   16 July 2015

that woman and her husband has been sending sms on my father's mobile for one month now. Every 2nd day an sms comes from them. Our family decided that our father doesnt answer her messages or calls and dont talk to them at all. In messages they warn him that they will expose him. My father admits his mistakes and is trying very hard to be good now but that woman's constant messages worry my mother n father n me alot. We dont know what to do. Please tell what should we do. 

Thanks

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     16 July 2015

Legal consequences are equal both to UR father and the other lady .Both of them are married persons,hence she is just trying to get something from UR father.What is the husband of that lady doing? UR entire family can lodge a police complaint stating mental harrasment by that lady,be surre that UR father supports UR versiion legally.

beingindian   18 July 2015

her husband is a retired ito(income tax). my father has been receiving sms from her husband saying he will expose my father if he does not respond to his calls and messages. My mother and I have asked my father to not to talk or sms him about anything in case he records something. I dont know what should we say to him or what should we do. 

Should we reply to his messages or not?

if yes, then what shoud we say...please reply

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     18 July 2015

Why should U people reply to his messages?Ask UR father to block the sim card and opt for a new number.They are just trying to blackmail UR father and nothing else.But better be alert.

jaig   21 July 2015

I am not into legal profession, and use this forum as advice-seeker, so I can't give legal advice, but I don't feel denying is the right decision in the long run. You should first consult a lawyer and know the possible implication. I assume "SAINATH DEVALLA" rightly said that consequences will be equal for both. And only after confirming about the risk of implication you should decide which stand to take.

First convince yourself and your father that he is an extremely fortunate man to have the forgiveness and support of his wife and you, his son (or daugher ?). If he is at all accountable to anyone in the world, it is only his wife, and to some extent his children, and nobody else. If I were in his position, In fact he should walk with his head held high with confidence after having you and your mom's beside him :)

Secondly, don't strain yourself over what proof they might have, don't let that threat weaken your family. It seems you father is yet to acknowledge his past in outside society, and it is that very fact that the husband of that lady is taking advantage of. Thats the root of all fear. Better work on plan how to make it publicly known before they do. Your father can't run away for ever. The sooner he turns around the quicker this will end. Kill the cause of threat at its source.

Think different. Attack is the best defense. What kind of husband calls his wife's ex, is he a husband ? or a PIMP ?? How are you sure that the husband of that lady did not know the matter right from the beginning. And everything happened with his consent ? Did your father use to pay the lady ? Is she asking for more money and not getting it has engaged her husband ? Start collecting evidence of unwarranted communication from the the man. If woman can do prostitution as side business husband can also serve as pimp as side business. There are numeruous such stories. You better start telling friends & relatives that your father is getting threat from a pimp of a lady he slept with, and who also happens to be her husband.

Our choices define who we are. But choices also present themselves at every step of life. Don't dwell on past one. Pick a new one. A bold one.

1 Like

jaig   21 July 2015

[few points to add]
Yor better make the story public before he does. You said she is your father's colleague's wife. So it must be the case that the colleague himself introduced his wife to your father, and first time your dad went to her home was to meet his colleague, but he was intentionally absent leaving his wife alone to entertain you father as client. Hope you are intelligent enough to finish the story :P

1 Like

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     21 July 2015

Rightly concluded by Mr.Jaig,though not a legal professional.

beingindian   21 July 2015

There is one more key point. Her husband had cancer in his genitals and so his genitals and penis were removed in an operation. So he is impotent now. He was impotent at the time my father got involved with his wife. And you are right JAIG that man actually used to call my father to his place and leave the two of them alone to buy groceries and used to come very late. My point is he knew about his wife n my father. This happened many times. 

Plus a few days ago what happened is that man called my father's colleague (since that man is retired and my father is still working) and told him that my father is a bad character person and he will tell more about my father after office hours. That current colleague shared this info with my dad. My dad was puzzled by that and so were us. I don't know if we should file a complaint against that person for defamation or something? 

Also as you advised, should we tell our family or office colleages or both about the prostitution story? I know it may be difficult but do share ur ideas if things can be dealt with without exposing my father. My dad is about to retire in 2 years. So many youngsters look upto him in our family. He is like the most respectable person in my family and in my city.During his service he NEVER fell into a trap of a woman but so unfortunately made a mistake in last years of his service. Thats the reason i m saying its very hard for me to tell my father that he will need to expose himself infront of everyone before those people do.

Those people have no sms conversation. No photographs. My father took her to hotels a couple of times wherein he registered as MR  n Mrs (his name). So the hotel receptionist may be eye witness to this. And there have been a couple of people who have seen my father go inside of her house which I believe is ok as it was also his colleagues house.

And I appreciate SAINATH DEVALLA and JAIG for ur time. But please share your views and advises more.

thanks

 


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