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wife filed for divorce - puzzled by what is going on?


I am really puzzled by what is going on. Please advise me what to do and how to approach this case. Thank you so much in advance, for helping me.

Case: Wife left home and left our two year old son at my home. My son is staying with me since then. After two months I received a notice for child custody. Me and elders from my family tried talking to her and her family but she was admant for divorce. Then things went like this:

Custody
-------
1. 1st date - Wife came with two lawyers. My lawyer did not file a reply. I spoke to my wife in court premesis but she was adamant and wanted divorce. Her family threatened to file police case.
2. 2nd date - We filed a reply to child custody petition. We countered all her false allegations with proofs. Judge tried to mediate in his chamber but my wife remained stubborn.
3. 3rd date - Wife did not come to court. A 3rd new lawyer filed wakalatnama. Judge was angry as he probably wanted another session of mediation. Her lawyer did not file a counter reply.
4. 4th date - A 4th new lawyer filed wakalatnama. Her lawyer did not file a counter reply. They got one months time to file counter reply.
5. 5th date - Wife did not come to court. Her lawyer did not file a counter reply. Judge gave three months to file counter reply. I wonder that they need four months to make a counter reply to our reply!!!!!!

Divorce
--------
1. 1st  date - My lawyer asked more time to file our reply to wife's divorce petition. Got 3 weeks to file reply.
2. 2nd  date - Wife did not come. We went with our written reply preperaed. We came to know that wife had withdrawn her divorce petition two weeks back (one week after first hearing) on technical grounds with liberty to file fresh petition. Court decided the case ex parte and gave her the liberty. The case was not scheduled for hearing on that day. Judge mentioned in his order that me or my lawyer was not present. However, I did not get any notice from court to appear for any hearing. My wife or her lawyer did not inform us before filing their application that they wanted to withdraw the divorce case or, after the decision that divorce case has been withdrawn.

Her articles
-------------
1. Received a legal notice for returning her istridhan. I had already communicated to her in my sms, email and on phone that she can come and collect her articles any time she wants to but she did not come. Instead she sent a legal notice. Included her entire 5 years salary, her loans, gifts given to my son, to me etc. as her istridhan (total amounting to about 45 lacs).
2. Her lawyer spoke to my lawyer and she wants that we should deliver all her articles to her house on our expense. Sent a reply to her legal notice to come and collect her articles.

I feel that she is playing a game because if she wanted to come back and live with me (she is very welcome if she wants to reconcile and live together as it is best for everyone, especially for our son) she would have spoken to me after withdrawing the divorce application. I prayed for refreering our case to mediation in my reply. My son has been staying with me. I love my son very much and I can not bear the thought to seeing him only on few weekends for the rest of my life. If my wife wants to come and live as family, she is welcome but if she is adamant for divorce, I want my son to stay with me.

I feel following can happen:

1. She files a new divorce petition afer a few weeks/months with still more allegations as we could have easily defended her allegations in the current withdrawn petition.
2. She files case in women's cell to harass us then files for divorce.
3. She actually wants to come back.

I am at a loss to understand what is going on. Please guide me how to proceed and how I can know what she wants without her making more false allegations.

Thank you.

 
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Software

I cant guide you legally, but I am please to see that you are making so much efforts to reconcile and live together for the sake of the child. I took the same path also, but she keeps leaving [6-7 times already since child was born] and it is quite difficult for me to keep changing houses and answering neighbors questions about her whereabouts... Hope it works out good for you.


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Practicing Advocate

It will not be easy for her to make more new allegations now. Keep all the certified copies of the previous proceedings ready with you for future use. As of now Wait and watch till her next move. If you want her to come back then, you can file a RCR in the  court.


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Vijaysekhar, Adv Archana - Thank you for your replies.
Yes, I want us to live together as family, me, my wife and our son. But till now she has been very adamant and refusing to have any conciliation/conversation. I will keep trying till I am convinced that she has absolutely made up her mind not to stay with me. Because of my professional qualifications, I can take care of my son, but I also realize how important it is for my son to have his mother's love and care. If my wife does not want to came back, I am very determined to fight for custody of my son even if the case takes years. No...not because of my ego, but because I know that he will get a much better upbringing with me in my family than her's. If I had felt even for one second that she can bring him up better than me, I would have signed the custody to her, but she can't. I will wait and watch and keep this thread updated. I would love to know what other people think about what is happenig in my case....With regards

 
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I agree...and would have done exactly that...this side or that side...rather than hang in a vacuum constantly thinking what is going to happen next...but sometimes...doing what one wants is not the same as doing the right thing

 
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In the child custody case, is it possibel for me to request the court to have a psychological examination of me and my family versus my wife and her family with whom the  the child will spend his growing up years; before decision on child custody is given?

 
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Manager

@author

Every child needs a GOOD Mother. but dont feel bad that your son lost his mother's love. It doesnt seem like your wife can be a good and loving mother. It is better not to have a parent than have an abusive parent.  You being so mature can ensure that your son gets all the L & A.

In olden days, a wife would toil and bear all sufferings for the sake of her children first and then her husband. These days ...

CUSTODY -> she may be applying for custody only to satisy her/her family's EGO and not really to care for the child. Worse, she may want to emotionally kill you or blackmail you by taking away your child.  Her intentions dont seem good or balanced to me, If she was so concerned, she would try to keep her marriage intact.


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advocate/counsel supreme court

sir, you need to make good psychological appeal to her senses on the child issue, after all no mother likes her so or daughter suffer and that is the way you need to tackle your matter, no point working on sevreral sections, as most sections are indeed half baked, as indian divorse laws were not made very properly after all every law works basicaly on social perceptions that perception is built over severaal years of experience of society in which one is born,; today marriages are contracted without reference to society from which one has come from. really what happens is social perception rules the roost especially in love and marriage relationships. Marriage is not like a company is created under companies Act but it is family and proge3ny building. that way you are also attached to child so too she is attached to child equally. so you need to tackle the isue from social percpional analysis sir that will definitely get you sensible final solution of reconciliation which you also need so too that lady too, so patiently work both together will have win win solution sir. regards. 


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Thank you all for replying.

For me it is important that I talk to her and make her see things in right perspective..,..if it is at all possible. I feel that people at her home might be negatively influencing her a lot. I dont want to go to her home as they can say or do anything there and it might escalate. She does not reply to my emails or sms. I knew one of her friends but that friend insteed of helping made some wild excuse. My lawyer had said that we will get a change to talk when we are referred to mediation for divorce but now there is no divorce case. Can you please suggest how I can talk to her without her or her family making more false allegations?  

 
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