LCI Learning

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Share on LinkedIn

Share on Email

Share More

Mark (Software analyst)     02 September 2013

Wife asking for seperation - threatening or real?

Hi this is mark from chennai, got an arranged  marriage in church  this year on April 2013.
After all the promises from the girl on the things that she will do or be with me after marriage. She never listens and respects anybody in our family. when we ask something to do, she says that "you are controlling and torturing me". At one point she says she is so reigious and other way never listens and accepts to any suggestion or adjust to any small things.
These things happened for a month,  and also she became pregnant. One day we got into a fight and she suddenly said " my life with you is enough", i want a seperation. i was shell shocked at what she said, i tried to control her to be with me. Instead she said i would go to her parents and be with them forever and  similarly she went way to her parents home
Later after two weeks i went myself to her home to console make things  normal since she is pregant and give due attention to her...I used to take utmost care to my conversation when i talked to her ...Tried to console and give more attention by calling to her regularly

One day,when she was in her parents home , i Visited her,  when i asked her to do something, suddenly she disrespects and answers in a brute manner saying " You have again started to control and torture". i was not able to handle this from her , i called and asked her on his politely on this incident. She suddenly erupts throwing various unrelevant things which were already happened before and acts violently.


I consulted this with my parents, i understood that she doesnt want anybody to involve in her decisions and her ways.If  I ask something even politely she answers that" if this continues we will seperate". She used to threaten me with this.She always remembers very small small things and if i ask some thing she throws with her words which is un pleasant.

she only lived with me for 1 month and now we are seperated. Now i tried consoling second time also but she always yells and complians about my mother saying that she told me to do like this and many things . Even when i came down to talk to her, she never apologizes or adjust. Now  i decided of a seperation after a long thought process although she is pregant , since it is difficult to live with such a lady..Basically she want a puppet husband to be with her.
 

 please advise the process  for sepeartion with this lady



Learning

 4 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     02 September 2013

1.    Visit a marriage counselor – psychologist to understand hormonal changes a woman undergoes when pregnant and harmonious supportive ways to handle them by biologically different spouse.

2.    Apply what you learnt with above ‘specialist’ with you dealings with your wife, the current situations will change for better slowly.

3.    Husbands’ to young marriages and having preg. spouse within one year of marriage should never feel shy to understand little more about ‘female psychology – gyne. issues’ a biologically different spouse undergoes during mentioned events.

Mithun (medical rep)     02 September 2013

Mark ,

 
This is just beginning ; looks like she never change or correct herself  , situations will be more worst after the  delivery and for anything and everything she will start blaming your mother and  take way ur happiness  and peace ..everything 
Below are  the procedure for Diverse  , Check with her whether she is ready for mutual consent diverse ,   if not go for contestant mode which is  take away your time ..either the  one you need to approach a lawyer ..you will be loosing money financially by doing the settlement, seperation  ;   but that will be better for  life long peace and happiness....
1 Like

Mark (Software analyst)     02 September 2013

Hi mithun,


     Thanks for your reply, thats what i have asked her for a mutual seperation. Earlier she used to say  that if you try to control me  " we will get seperated" on any cases if i say to do something  and even her mother(in law) says the same " she herself is asking a seperation" . the testimonials is her mother itself...  .. Now i have asked for a mutual seperation, she is mum  and diverting that let parents talk...really cant understand this lady....

 

Also even if i file for a mutual divorce , should i wait for a year ( till one year completion of marriage)....please help

Mithun (medical rep)     03 September 2013

You cannot alone file a mutual divorce petition , Mutual divorce means  , you both have to discuss around  the  table ,  what is mutually you agree to  give her and  whether she is ready to accept it  ,  If your wife  working then  , it is not  necessary to  pay  the maintenance  else  , you will  have to pay , secondly for the  kid ,there will be a maintenance  , the amount and other liabilities  has to mutually  agree  and  finally petition  can be filed  with help of a lawyer , do not  make any  settlement  before completing the  3rd  round of re union advise . hardly take 3 to 6 months time .

Contested  mode  , you  can file from  your side and  sif she refuse  then you will have to prove , there are certain ground on that  ,  googling in net with   these  key words  will give your more details  , contestant divorce  and mutual consent divorce ,

attached a PDF for ur reference    

You will  be losing  financially in all terms   ; the ultimate gain and benefit for women only ;  think and take a wise decision , all  the very best !!


Attached File : 710782646 divorce-laws.pdf downloaded: 138 times

Leave a reply

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register