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Tejal (house wife)     13 December 2011

Why men wants to make changes only in their favorable ways?

i saw in all the forum questions men are asking to go for a modernism only in their favour .( Like earning money,which was not done in the past according to our customes)

 

From the past we have a tradition that woman gets marry & goes to man's home.They botha have their own duties. Man earn money & take care of his family.& from woman side she has to do all the house hold things & take care of her family.

 

Now a days man wants a woman who earns money & all the house hold works.but they doesnt give a part in doing house hold works.they just show off by doing a little bit works.women ( wifes) are allowd to go alone  for a work but not for their enjoyment (like parties & roaming etc.).

 

We have a tradition that woman goes to man's home after marrige. this is also not changing . why man doesnt go at woman's home after marrige.

 

man wants his wife for earning for himself but when wife want to help her elder parents  financialy who doesnt have a boy than man refuse for that.Like the parents of the girl had made a crime by giving a birth to a daughter.but he doesnt know in future this can be with him also.

 

man wants her wife to take care of his parents but he never take care of wife's parents.If wife is giving services to husbands old-age parents than why a husband can not give a financial help to wifes old age parents.Man still thinks like they have bought a property for him & his family to serve & to earn.he wants his wife to become a daughter of his family but can not be a son of girl's family.

 

so i think men just want equality & modernism  only in those customes & tradition  which are favourable to him. but not for the freedom & humen rights of women.

 

Not for all man there are so many exeptions  i have seen also.



Learning

 35 Replies


(Guest)

i agree with you.

VENKATESH HEGDE (ADVOCATE)     13 December 2011

Intersting topic...,

VENKATESH HEGDE (ADVOCATE)     13 December 2011

Every victims are saying like this ..if you are unhappy with your life dont blame the socity ... this is our system & may be it continues in future ... If you are happy with your life than  you ca'nt thik  like these type of   descrimination s. so dont split each other .. For both victims lots of legal remedies are there ...  ( if my words are harsh I am sorry )

1 Like

JAYESH (Sr. Executive HR.)     13 December 2011

Not always this is true. I myself is suffer in this regards. due to my mother-in-law the culprit i had lost my wife & daughter as my divorce happen. My mother-in-law want only earnings of my wife as their whole house was running on my wife earnings. after my marriage my mother-in-law had told me that my name will be not attached with my wife for next 15 years. so surprisingly i ask them why is it so. My mother-in-law told me that their big flat was purchased in the name of my wife and all the installment was paid from my wife monthly earnings. also my mother-in-law smartly get signed the papers from my wife that my wife has not rights in this flat and that too my wife don't know but unfortunately i got that papers in my house after my divorce. also all the insurance policy payments was done from my wife earnings. I had never said a single word to my wife in this regards only thing i asked my wife is that to help my mother in house hold work but whenever i ask her to do so she start quarreling with me by saying that she got tired after hard work & she was not able to do work. Now you both lady tell me what i have to do then also I keep on going with her by thinking that she will be ok with me & my family in future but nothing changed. the only change happens that her mother start interfering in my life more then require and the day come my mother-in-law had done my divorce with my wife. recently i got separated from my wife in last Aug-2011 divorce happen after 2 yrs. but again i & my wife started talking with each other. now my wife want to come back & I'm also ready but my wife ask for property, money & status before she come back. Now young lady tell me what I have to do...  I had tried everything to stop my divorce but due to this salary of my wife my mother-in-law had done all this mess in my life. Still I love my wife & daughter so much. thats why still today I'm doing all those things to bring her back in my life. One fine day my wife & daughter will come back to me I know & I trust my almighty great God Sai baba...

JAYESH (Sr. Executive HR.)     13 December 2011

hey where all young lady went????????

Tejal (house wife)     13 December 2011

i already said there are so many exeptional men  in my points. I m not a victim of mentioned problems.

@ sam

My topic is also for equal responsabilities.( house hold works, earnings,spendings, customes, traditions, taking care of the both of the parents equaly.)

Sameer12345 (SSE)     13 December 2011

I WILL COOK FOR WIFE WITH THE CONDITION THAT, MAKE LAWS GENDER NEUTRAL OR THERE MUST NOT BE ANY LAWS IN MATRIMONIAL RELATION.

1 Like

Sameer12345 (SSE)     13 December 2011

:)

1 Like

Ghajini (SSE)     13 December 2011

So we have one more person here to initiate useless discussions ...only the thread starter knows what he/she will get out of this...still recall this user's first thread with a story kind of thing, and if that is true (assuming) for one who is having such painful life has got time to start such irrelevant discussions rather than take care of his/her life ...just wonder


(Guest)

these laws came much later and due to this attitude of men


(Guest)
Utpala.....weather the law come early or late does not matter .......reasonability and fairness matters . there are many families which shatter due to querralsome attitude of women ......... I will advise you to visit www.falsecases498a.org , read thru everything .....misunderstandings can be cleared by talking or counselling and not by blackmailing and cheating

(Guest)

You or someone else in your family can be a victim tooo ..... maybe tomorrow , if the bias continue like this !!  Demanding Neutral laws is not splitting society but to balance the equation bro .... Decesions should be based on facts and not on emotional bias .   Can you please elaborate more on the legal provisions to save a boy and family from false cases ??? Is there any provison which can land greedy wifes and her parents in jail for misleading law and misusing law for extorting money ??? The provisions in law encourages more and more wifes to put idotic allegations against husband to satisfy their malafide intensions and the prime motivation behind this is money in 90% cases . Law should not be based on assumptions but hard facts and figures ( refer NCRB figures to clear your doubts )

 

Everone including you agrees that provisions in the law are totally biased but are scared to raise the voice  !!! 
Its not blaming the society but correction of society against evil practices ....... and thats what makes me HAPPY :-)

anvita.... (advocate)     14 December 2011

this is the same old story u are repeating.when we come to facts,Being a woman i feel men are being deprived of many rights and this gender is badly being ignored by 'law' as well as govt sector.

on the other hand according to theworld i have seen woman is not so ill treated and pushed back,there are plenty of families who give equal importance to they female child along with male.And men out there who support their wife in all ways.

It is high time if law and govt place an equal eye on both the genders and give a chance for both men and women walk in parallel levels.Which is justifyble according to me.

My opinion as an advocate.(cause we need to think rational and justice all the time)

2 Like

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     14 December 2011

I see quite often on this forum  there is allegation that laws are women biased.  To dispel such misconceptions, I reproduce some parts of the judgment in Varsha Kapoor Vs. Union of India.

Below are the arguments of the advocate representing the mother-in-law in Varsha Kapoor  Vs. Union of India case before the Division Bench.  He himself avers that women are subjected to utmost cruelty. 

" The learned counsel highlighted in this behalf that violence constitutes a major form and process of oppression of women. An understanding of gender reality over the years reveals how violence has always been used as a means to subjugate women and keep them in a position of subordination. Gender based violence may take many different forms and there may be distinctive patterns or manifestations of gender violence associated with particular communities, cultures or regions and historical epochs. Gender violence is present in all societies; it is a structural phenomenon embedded in the context of culture, socio-economic and emotional dependency, the property of some male protector. Societies organized around gendered, hierarchical power relation give legitimacy to violence against women. Violence against women, like all other historical manifestation of violence, is embedded in the socio-economic and political context of power relations. It is produced within class, caste and patriarchal social relations in which male power dominates. A narrow definition of violence may define it as an act of criminal use of physical force. But this is an incomplete definition. Violence also includes exploitation, discrimination, upholding of unequal economic and social structures, the creation of an atmosphere of terror, threat, or reprisal and forms of religio-culture."

There are several traditions originated from religion and culture have oppressive nature in respect of women.  Earlier to enactment of  Hindu Marriage Act, even in Hindu males, polygamy was prevailing which was oppressive.  At the same time, this very religion had not permitted the women to have polyandry.  Once HMA came into effect, the liberty of men to philander has come to halt and you see, some members on this forum always criticise HMA as women biased law.

Other tradition is in respect of  matrimonial home.  By tradition and culture, in patriarchial system, husband's house is treated as matrimonial home.  No where law defined only the husband's house as matrimonial home and not the wife's house as matrimonial home.  By default, court treats husband's house as matrimonial home.   Even then, men always say HMA is a biased law and courts are biased towards women.

By virtue of tradition, women, howmuch they are educated, qualified, rich and capable, they have to resign their jobs (if jobs are not transferrable) of pre-marriage, leave parental home and friends of past and start a fresh life in matrimonial home.  The courts expect that women should do all these things.  Resistence on the part of woman to leave the job is cruelty for husband.  Resistence not to cook food (As if cooking food is the sole job of women, even though they are working women) is cruelty towards husband.  Not serving the husband's parents is cruelty towards the husband.  Husband goes to far flung area with a title of NRI and wife has to stay at his parents' home, do job, cook food and serve them, otherwise it is cruelty. 

On the other hand,  if husband does not share half of the domestic work, even in the case of working woman, it is not cruelty towards wife.  Illtreating the parents of the wife with snide remarks is not cruelty towards women.

The tradition is heavily loaded towards men.  The law, in democratic social fabric, wanted to undo the injustice done to the women to a little extent and that is not digestable to the male protaganists.  So, they always abuse the matrimonial laws as women biased and the courts, which are trying to implement these laws as women biased.  When the courts follow the traditions and culturres favouring the men on some aspects, such as matrimonial home, women's role in kitchen (where the law is silent), they have no objection.

women are exploited.  When I say women, women whole as a class.  They can be mothers, mother-in-laws, daughters and daughter-in-laws.  The cruelty is not just physical violence.  It takes different shapes in different societies. It may be physical abuse, psychological abuse, economic abuse and social abuse etc.  Women are not felt safe on the streets and workplace.  It is most unfortunate, if they are not felt safe in their own homes, either they may be parental or matrimonial. 

We see on this forum, men and boys attack their spouses on several grounds.  Some cases are genuine.  But most of the cases are not genuine and they really perpetrate cruelties and if their women resort to legal remedies, those women are attacked with vituperative language and the courts trying to protect them are also abused.  But they do not spell out not a single word against their mothers.  Why?  Are their mothers not exploited?  Yes, they are exploited, but their subjugation has been completed and they became totally submissive and accepted the male domination is the nature of the society.   Now their mothers also joined the gang of exploiters to exploit the wife, forgetting that she also faced the same miseries what her daughter-in-law is facing right now. 

Till recently, women were not given property rights in parental property.  Had you heard any protest from male protaganists against this injustice perpetrated by our society against the women?   Had they ever criticised the Hindu property laws as male biased?  No.

Now, the law and courts are trying to bring equality in matrimonial and property rights between the genders, you hear a lot of voice about biased laws.  


 

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