What to do: file a divorce or keep a mistress?

@Debashish

I did not find Cutie offensive. her posts were sincere. If they vanish after few good posts,

we should understand them and say like this:

:look we appreciate you opinion. One request: Kindly do not vanish as most women posters do,

we need you more then anyone"

@Cutie

 Please read Debashish coment as 

"ye gussa nehi hai, abhiman hai, ap ko khone ka dar ka

kahi ap bhi kuch der bad hame chor de to? dar hai dil me, pyar ho jane ka

aour uske bad apko khone ka, please ap bahut important hai

hame chor ke nehi jana..." 

oho. thank you madame. For me you broke your promise. flattered. please read it as "rabbit". today a feminazi site expelled me from their site, with exactly same wordings-rude. why? because i said them- undemocratic. any connection?

@supersir

I did not find Cutie offensive. her posts were sincere. If they vanish after few good posts,

we should understand them and say like this:

:look we appreciate you opinion. One request: Kindly do not vanish as most women posters do,

we need you more then anyone"

OK sir, here your opinion matters. in the last you have to take your own decision. you are many many years senior to us. rather lecturing you, i can only give you mild advices. here only tajob sir is competent enough to understand your problem & provide practical answer

@debashis

How sad that  tajob in only competent one, and has rejected to advice me as he found me a brute, where as Cutie who told me hard words, toned down understood me and gave me a lot of pratical advice. She may not have been a lawyer though.

Yes, I am much older then you, I can read between lines sincere effort and insincere effort. Your tajob sir never stopped to redecule me when i asked him to explain in simpler words.

he forgot that a murder also deserve a lawyer, advisor  - I am surely much better. 

And what is adultry? If a man and another women share sms and emails, would that be adultry?

I they share adult jokes, would that be adultry?

If I propose a Girl to find out if she is my next possible mate, before divorcing, will that be adultry?

Worst, do you think proving adultry is so easy?  You must be joking Mr. feinmen.

Dear super sir,

To understand physics we have to know basic principles/laws /formulas of physics. So is for chemistry. In Zoology, we should know Kingdom/Phylum/Class/subclass/ Infraclass/ Order/ Family/ Genus/ before studying any specific animal. Similarly for law. Without understanding law & courtroom language, we cannot understand underlying tones of law. Hence, here, we the naïve people are depends on LEARNED persons, who not only understand law but also can analyze. We the naïve people cannot understand engineering behind bridge construction, no matter how hard you try. This is also true in law. You know more than us that, nothing in this world is simple word. What is simple for you may be tough for me. Law is affecting our day-to-day life more than anything else. This is for government’s control to individual’s life. Hence, law , law, more law and law and law endless law.

We the Hindus, are not governed by any one “do & don’t” book (I am atheist) hence foreign invaders & our government forced us, as many as possible, laws. So little understanding of law by general people.

Chota moonh aur badi baat. I never tried to defend tajobsir as he is capable enough. There are many other learned lawyers available here whom you can PM.

Thank you.

@ supabcdefgh

I try to explain whatever little law I know:

1) If u make live-in relationship with a WIDOW/UNMARRIED GIRL/DIVORCEE, u can not be booked in any serious offence.

Essential point is : NEW PARTNER IN UR LIFE SHUD BE NON-COMPLAINING

2) Nobody can prevent a wife to engage her hubby IN FALSE CRIMINAL CASES MAY BE 498A OR SO, but u want be convicted if u have not done it.

3) Better do not perform a formal marriage with new partner. Ur job wont be jeopardised if u take small precautions while nurturing this new relationship.

My personal advice too: Try marriage councelling nce more. Divulge before the counceller in secrecy that

* marital S*X means much to u

* U have ADHD

* u are on the verge of chosing some extere path if marital problems are not solved on urgent basis.

May be he/she can make ur wife understand & marital harmony be restored!

I am a scientist/ I know how to read and write and do literature survey. I have not disrespect for learned people. I have asked a simple question:  Let sirji come and proove I am wrong:

let him proove with case studies the following scenerio:

a Husband is very kind and takes care of the children.

Never shouted never hurt any one.

One day the wife come to know that he is maintaining another women.

The women asked , what is your repationship with her:

Mistress, i do not give any of the benifits that a wife gets, i just give them my love and part

of my salary.  I have 3 children here, 3 there. i can afford it.

what can the wife file court against?

Can she charge Criminal case? NO.

All she can get is divorce. And allimony. And technically she would 

get much less then what she is getting now because now what she gets in uncountable.

And she will miss his love.

let  your Sirji proove me wrong, technically with reference and cas studies.

As required in a case.

So what we understand;

want divorce, be too good to your wife and children. 

make sure they cannot charge you 498a.

maintain parallel mistress, don't marry her. Give her money, make  her part of your will,

never make joint account with your wife.

A lady gave me these advice. Unfortunately it was too late. i have violated enough

under inhuman provocation, insult, being shut out from home, thrown out of In-law home etc.

and even after 20 years can be charged with  498a.

But I have decided, if charged, i will not defend, that day I will get the right to write my whole life story

and expose her. She cannot stop me there. I will loose IIT job, not my savings. 

I will be in jail 3 years, buti will get independence. Not daily torture of being a dog.

And worst, all my acount is joint account. Dead I am..

But one thing cannot be snatched : Inner soul.

I am a teacher, people need teacher. Where ever I go I can find a job and will be respected.

you statement in most cases are true, not always. law and accoountacy are very easy,

it has been made to look very difficult using difficult words, so that common people do not understand

and pay more and more and suck their blood out

First tell lie, scare them and tell you will save them. You have any way lied that

punishment of adultry is 3 years. At the end there will be no jail only divorce and allimony.

The lawyer shows off that he has achieved and deserved to be rewarded - heavily.

what would my wife ask: 

a) right to stay in IITD : well who denied her, I am my mistress any way stay in small house (imagination of my life is 2014) with a small child and my son. 

b) 20 lakhs as compensation  - pea nuts

c) 30K monthly and 10k medical..  -  Boys if you can afford, think of a mistress

And when you say that all these are granted - I am stupid.

bade logo ke beech this unwanted mini!

lo ms cutie, dekho maza!

this mini is now account deleted".

super sir can you tolarate this type of creature?

@rajib

I know all these too well. 

I am trying my best to make my wife understand. but what to do?

Thanks for the nice answer.

It is the counsellor that detected that my son is ADHD, all explanation matched my life

and now they too know and I know I am ADHD. I am a teacher who never write on the board

because I cannot write. i forget, i cannot keep my things properly - what can I do.

I drop food while eating and laugh and shout loudly in a unprofessor way in bengali concept and

is a shame to her and her family. But yet, my students love me because when i speak,

they never forget. 

I don't know this Joke of deleted account/ women/ etc. in such serious discussion.

Is it a way to devert topic?

yes .certainly.

Sirji, actually in the begining used good ethics to advice me, what is good for me and what is bad for me.

But he did not realize I was not looking for ethical advice but checking my knowledge and understanding of law.

He  said "never create a baby from such Illicit relationship"

First mistake : Mistress is never illicit.  It is straight foward chalange to the scoiety.

And why take mistress if you do not want another child, if she cannot bear because for or my 

mistake, I will surely adopt one, as my son who is ADHD more require a brother or sister at this stage.

Actually I offered my wife once: let us adopt a baby, i will give up all s*xual demand.

She didnot agree.