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What to do: file a divorce or keep a mistress?

Page no : 5

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     26 April 2012

Originally posted by :supabcdefgh
" Respected Sirji told me: 

"She can file case of adultry whose punishment is 3 years prison and fine. "

Which clause is this? I thought the adultery case can be filed by the husband whose wife has been violated.

Do you mean you will aply 498a for s*x between concenting adults?

(don't link with my case) You must be joking sir that you have knowledge.   

it is lawers like this that is a disgrace to the society.
"

 

@ Mr. ?


Let me bring two provisions of criminal law with regards to your direct question / allegations made to me. Firstly the provision with regards to
bigamy where any married man or woman if performs marriage with another woman or man as the case may be he or she will be held liable for committing bigamy.


S. 494
of the Indian Penal Code clearly provides marrying again during lifetime of husband or wife. Whoever, having a husband or wife living marries in any case in which such marriage is void by reason of its taking place during the life of such husband or wife, shall be punished with imprisonment of either descripttion for a term which may extend to seven years, and shall also be liable to fine. Not withstanding exception to this main section let be told to you what is the most important ingredient of this provision, namely both the valid marriage ceremonies of the accused person has to be proved with sufficient evidence, any thing short will not get him or her liable under this provision.


You said about
marrying / giving status of wife to a mistress or live-in
hence I stand by what my first reply / PM replies to your PM's to me are all about.


But, in a case a married man start living with another woman & declare her as his wife will not be enough what will be required to get be punished under the provision of
S. 494
of the Indian Penal Code is the ceremonies of his second marriage along with his first marriage and mind you both these ceremonies should be legal and valid hence binding him in the eyes of law.


Say as illustration to you ramblings on Dharmendra and Hema Malani’s marriage
re.
in one of your post here in this thread - a Hindu married man marries another woman say Muslim by religion without changing his Hindu religion to Mohammedan religion by Muslim ceremonies then he will not be said to have preformed a valid marriage with this Muslim woman but if he change his Hindu religion to Muslim religion and get married to this Muslim woman by Muslim marriage ceremonies then he shall be liable for bigamy although as a Muslim he can marry four times legally but since his first marriage was according to Hindu form of marriage with a Hindu woman and he himself was Hindu at that time his first marriage has not been dissolved by his conversion to Muslim religion he will be held to be legally married and his second marriage even after conversion to Muslim religion also legal but here the conversion was only for the sole purpose of second marriage and his liability towards his first wife doesn't end after his second marriage considering all these his second marriage is punishable offence although his new religion i.e. Muslim religion allows such marriage. Above is the principle laid down by the Hon’ble SC in such cases.


Since you seems to know all law here, may I ask you do you know under which name Dharamendra entered Indian parliament and under which name he contested election in
Bikaner
?



Now let me come to second provision of criminal law which speaks about
adultery as offence. S 497 of the Indian Penal Code provides whoever has s*xual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man without the consent or connivance of that man such s*xual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape is guilty of the offence of adultery and shall be punished with imprisonment of either descripttion for a term which may extend to five years or with fine or with both. In such case the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor. In this provision indulging in s*xual relationship with another woman itself by any man is not an offence, what is important that such woman should be a married woman and the s*x did with her should be without her husband's consent.

 


Now understand the fine line which I am stating final time to you and you might as well now do PhD for that matter on this subject - if a married man indulge in s*x with an unmarried woman he will not be liable for adultery under this provision but he will be liable for the act of adultery in civil sense and on the basis of this his wife can seek divorce from him in the family court but cannot get him punished under
S. 497 IPC as provided above. In case she wants to get him punished for this act then it will have to be brought under S. 498A I.P.C. according which he can be held liable for committing mental cruelty towards his wife for which she has to prove that because of this act of his she suffered mental harassment amounting to cruelty.


Now concerning case laws which you are challenging in your ignorance of Law to me and to other ld. brothers reading your postings as in couple of your messages. Let me tell you this, pay Rs. 1.1 L for Case Laws and I will be happy to give you 3 case Laws from Delhi HC and 2 from SC on your presented first
facts on how you will be prosecuted and go for rigorous imprisonment along with fine. Since you claim to be money bag in several of your messages this is my professional fees set for placing case laws especially to you. Have you not shown so much over confidence and not challenged me I would have gladly placed case laws of what I am speaking here for the purpose of this post as I am found of placing case laws for clarity of readers and for knowledge discussions in almost all of my messages which by now you must be aware of reading my profile going to Forum postings button in profile that I made till date and just yesterday I discussed S. 125 CrPC (click hyperlink) moot point raised by a queriest where I disagreed to a reply made by one of my ld. senior brother and to my disagreement I placed several case laws in my reply message and have left invitation for discussion by other ld. brothers on similar situation but for DV Act in abv. re. post reply….......

 


No be known
Mr. my self bandwiddth limit is set to three postings to a query and I rarely want to exceed self limit hence closing my rejoinder to your above thread post and you may carry on and I give you liberty to even copy–paste my PM message(s) sent to you upon your own contact request made with me via PM as I have nothing to misguide here to anyone and Mr. be beware whom you are calling ‘it is lawyers like this that is a disgrace to the society’.

supabcdefgh (teacher)     26 April 2012

 

I would first thank you for answering in simple language:

Let us take one case at a time:

Bigamy:

Indian Penal Code (IPC)

 

Section 494. Marrying again during lifetime of husband or wife

Whoever, having a husband or wife living, marries in any case in which such marriage is void by reason of its taking place during the life of such husband or wife, shall be punished with imprisonment of either descripttion for a term which may extend to seven years, and shall also be liable to fine.

As clearly seen, Mistress is not Marriage. Mistress is s*x with Mutual Consent. Hence this clause does not apply.  Sex with mutual consent is only debared as in next case rightly quoted by you, sir.

I said, in heart, Mistress will get every thing from heart. Not the legal status. Example:

a)     There will be no marriage ceremony like going around fire, ring. There will be a Birthday party, introducing my mistress to the world.

b)     I will not declare her as wife in my job

c)     I will not be able to provide the government apartment/medical benefits

d)     I will not be able to travel with her as Husband and wife, but will take a court injunction that we are adults with s*xual right by mutual consent, and hence can share same hotel room.

e)     I will also have children if possible/adopt if not possible

f)       I will be paying her a contract amount as monthly expenses (who knows she may be rich enough to pay me in reverse, joking, I have not short listed and will start advertising soon, when legal matter is clear)

g)     I will take full care of my wife, who will live in IIT apartment without me.

Why do I do so?   Because wife deny s*x on valid grounds. And deny to divorce saying my 20 years in marriage and I gave son after so much hardship assures that I enjoy this right life time. Does that mean I suffer life time? In fact I will first pose this question to court first….

 

Now coming to s*x with mutual consent:

Indian Penal Code (IPC)

 

Section 497. Adultery

 

Whoever has s*xual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such s*xual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either descripttion for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor.

 

a)      Obviously my mistress is not a women who is wife of another man.

b)      Today you will find many family who may like to share with you their wife too wilfully. Some time even without payment, as sincere relationship.

c)      Who can file the case  -   The man whose wife has been violated. My wife would have no role in filing this case.

 

Thanks for explaining this Dharmendra case. It means, there is another option:

a)      Convert to Islam, marry after 1 or 2 year?

 

This I have answered you well enough. I will give her enough legal notice before committing the act. If court gives me the divorce, fine, but can court punish me to eternal s*xless ness? No. read the Condonation clause.

If she punishes me for past act to 498a, fine. I will not contest, but will gain my right to immediately and openly publish what happened to me for the benefit to the society.

About future acts, 498a will not be applicable as she is committing mental torture by denying s*x to me ON VALID GROUNDS

a)      She wants full control of finances and record to telephone calls

b)      A complete written document of what happened in past in her own version and written apology, as if I have to dig my own grave. My counsellor immediately objected and advised me to shut up and not say anything and never ever give anything in writing.

c)      My s*xual urges are not natural and to demanding on her.

d)      I watch material available in net to help myself.

Now concerning case laws which you are challenging in your ignorance of Law to me and to other ld. brothers reading your postings as in couple of your messages. Let me tell you this, pay Rs. 1.1 L for Case Laws and I will be happy to give you 3 case Laws from Delhi HC and 2 from SC on your presented first facts on how you will be prosecuted and go for rigorous imprisonment along with fine.

Case study is important and I will ask you when I feel necessary. But till now I do not find your logic logical.  And my course of action may be unprecedented. Because before taking mistress, I will officially ask court a solution to my misery of mental torture.

Punishment for 498a, I will accept 3 years is fine. Loosing job is fine – I gain total independence. I will be happy and I would not require a lawyer to accept my punishment.

 

The Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973 (CrPc)

 

 

125. Order for maintenance of wives, children and parents.

 

 

(1) If any person leaving sufficient means neglects or refuses to maintain-

 

(a) his wife, unable to maintain herself, or

 

(b) his legitimate or illegitimate minor child, whether married or not, unable to maintain itself, or

 

(c) his legitimate or illegitimate child (not being a married daughter) who has attained majority, where such child is, by reason of any physical or mental abnormality or injury unable to maintain itself, or

 

(d) his father or mother, unable to maintain himself or herself,

 

 

 

This  if itself is not valid.  If my wife demands s*xual relationship, be with her to reasonable limit, I will give her demand. And My son, he if my life. After all both are ADHD, have to help each other. And I will always help my son to be kind and forgive his mother for what she has done to me or will do, as I have already forgiven her.

 

 

Ranee....... (NA)     26 April 2012

This supabcdgh seems a psycho person...he knows everthything, yet throwing threads here..

He claims to be a popular teacher, yet going to some immoral things..i think giving text book's knowledge is not enough to be good teacher...

he can stay in jail for 3 years but he cant stay without s*x in normal life..

he thinks of proposing girls just to find out next mate..i doubt his girl IITians are free from this

it is clear from his series of posts he adamant to bring new girls to the life.or he may have another parallel family which he is trying to legalize/socialize now...he is being IIt teacher is very intelligent, no doubt, but other intelligent people are there in this world/forum..

1 Like

(Guest)

In your view- Is only s*x life .

What's idea sir je ?

Keep a mistress may be harmful for you.


(Guest)

Where gone Indian culture.

supabcdefgh (teacher)     29 April 2012

 

In your view- Is only s*x life .

What's idea sir je ?

Keep a mistress may be harmful for you.

 

My sister-in-law asked me the same question:

 

Look, my s*xual need is extreme. I become an animal without it.

It is beyond my control, though under counselling I am learning.

But it is not easy. Under such situation neither my son nor my wife is safe.

 

And when some thing happens, you will blame me only right?

498a will aply to me only right?

 

What Indian culture are you talking about? Have you not read Indra

other people in Minui's hermitage because the muni didnot satisfy his wife

and left for long tour?

 

Which son, Ram etc., pandava etc. were son of their own father?

The fathers knew it, in fact father doners were invited.. yet father loved their

children.

 

In past, both Polygamy and Polyandry was accepted culture though former

was more common. so which culture are you talking?

 

Look, a man is iternally suffering..

If the law does not allow him and keep his marriage hanging by

runing the divorce case for years there by draining his MONEY,

TIME and most of all s*xual energy...  what can you do?

 

Believe me.. most of family friends are helping me and everyone agree

that they wil accept my decision.. but there are signs that my own wife

will understand that this is not weapon to be utilized.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     29 April 2012

About future acts, 498a will not be applicable as she is committing mental torture by denying s*x to me ON VALID GROUNDS. 

Wrong. Even refusal to consummate does not come under "mental torture" it is only a fit case for seeking divorce under existing laws.  Try to understand the difference between denying s*x to a man whose marriage is consummated and also have a son, and refusal to consummate.  When even refusal to consummate is not treated as cruelty or mental torture, how any court would show sympathy to a man whose marriage is consummated and also have a kid and treat it as mental torture on behalf of wife for denying s*x to husband?  At the most refusal to consummate can be considered by court as a valid ground for divorce, but even that will not fall in the category of mental torture.  And refusal to consummate is a valid ground for divorce only under Special Marriage Act, not under Hindu Marriage Act.

 

Which means that under Hindu Marriage Act, it is not even a ground for divorce, not to talk of treating it as mental torture.  Here in this case your wife had helped you to even consummate and have a kid, which means you can safely forget that any court in India would consider her act of refusing to cooperate with a husband's perverted desires for s*x as mental torture. 

 

Coming to 498A, if your past acts are part of series of crimes you have perpetrated against her then action under 498A for past offences is possible as "continuing offence" notwithstanding completion of period of limitation.  This I have informed through PM.  However even the act of having a mistress can be treated as valid ground for 498A if your wife treats it as cruelty.  Read 498A:

 

Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.

Explanation- For the purpose of this section, "cruelty" means-

    (a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or

 

 

See the Explanation of cruelty and try to analyse.  Yours is wilful conduct?  Yes.  You know you are doing it (keeping a mistress) deliberately with lot of premeditation and forethought.  Hence yours is "wilful conduct".  Does it drive your wife to commit suicide?  No evidence of that.  You are spared there. Does it cause grave injury or danger to life or limb.  You are spared there also.  Your wilful conduct of keeping a mistress does not cause any injury or danger to her life or limb.  You are spared by law there also. Does it cause grave injury or danger to her health?  Health could be physical or mental.  So in terms of physical wellbeing it does not cause any grave injury or danger to health.  There also you are spared.  But carefully read the last one, that is "mental health".  How do we define mental health? Is she disturbed by what you think about mistress and all.  Does she treat it as perverted behavior?  Does she feel harrassed by it and feel agonized?  Obviously yes that is why you are being counselled now.  So you have disturbed her mental health by your "wilful conduct" and will continue to do so.  And that means you are liable under section 498A for your cruelty against her which affects her "mental health".

 

So it is not only past actions which are liable under 498A as part of continuing offense but fresh cause of action like keeping a mistress which disturbs your wife's mental health will also be perceived as cruelty and will be punishable under section 498A.

 

So intelligent man!  Be careful.

supabcdefgh (teacher)     30 April 2012

 Yours is wilful conduct?  Yes.  

No, My cruelity was instigated  and is not a willful conduct.

What law considers is law's problem. But denying s*x, using s*x as a weapon is a cruelity.

Keeping mistress is indeed a wilful conduct. 

Does it drive your wife to commit suicide :  No

Does it cause grave injury or danger to life or limb. no, you are correct.

Does it cause grave injury or danger to her health?  Health could be physical or mental.

This is the most tricky part. This is what that lady counsellor od saket family court told me. Keep it secret, maintain both side well, her knowing and feeling bad at later stage will not count as mental torture.

So you have disturbed her mental health by your "wilful conduct" and will continue to do so. 

No, again. I am trying family counselling and there enough proof of my positive attitude and her lack of attitude. Against her lies that fact that she is not even doing well in her relationship with son too. Too many proof of that too.

Tell me one thing:

Is 498a one time punishment? After the punishment or 3 years and loosing IIT job, can I get a gurantee of getting divorce when I come out of jail, or my s*xual beheviour will again become 498a and again sent to jail?

That would be nice trap for LAW itself where LAw has no other way but to keep me in jail because of my high s*xual energy.

I case that has never happened and will never happen again.

 

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     30 April 2012

YOu save yourself from 'self-created confusion", you will understand everything. Nothing else to say.

supabcdefgh (teacher)     30 April 2012

Be careful.. I will be.   But what is the point of dying everyday?

supabcdefgh (teacher)     30 April 2012

Tell me one question: If male deny s*x to a women in 40, who has a kid,

as was the case with Albert Einstein too, would that amount to mental torture to the woman?

May be I need to find out on what ground was Albert Einstein's wife granted divorce.

Ranee....... (NA)     30 April 2012

At supabcdefgh,

u have found out all possible points in your favour..so please proceed..and please dont forget to give updates of your new life here..!!

supabcdefgh (teacher)     30 April 2012

What is tomorrow I start teaching in Anath Asram and often stay back there and don't come back home.

No mistress. Financially I take care of her. What if she complains of mental torture, by not returning home, wil that also count as mental torture and put me in Jail under 498a for 3 years.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     30 April 2012

Indian law is happy with a wife who helps her husband to consummate. It does not prescribe any onerous duty on wife to entertain her husband every night.  It does not consider a woman to be s*x worker. And the social contract of marriage between husband and wife as that of such character which makes it compulsive for a woman to entertain her husband s*xually throughout her life time despite the limitations imposed by aging factors. Indian law does not treat a wife to be a s*x machine that is why, it is satisfied if she cooperates her husband to consummate and beyond that any other non-cooperation to participate in s*x for whatsoever reason is not considered any ground for cruelty or divorce either in criminal law or in civil law.

supabcdefgh (teacher)     30 April 2012

Indian law is happy with a wife who helps her husband to consummate.

once a month, once a year, once in 5 year, once in 10 year, once in 20 years?




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