First I would thank you for your sincere reply. I agree to most of your points. Let us see.
"I gave given you a son, 20 years in marriage....I have sent son to hostel as Son-and Mother relationship was also not good"
Good explanation of how important s*x is in ur life, and how by not being involved in s*x with you, your wife is destroying ur life.
It is not just s*x, it is also self-respect, trying to control everything and most important being an introvert, we have no social life. Till son was small, it did not matter but now it was effecting his mental growth. He, like me need friends.
Reason: 1. probably she knows of your adulterous behaviour more than enough, to compromise her self-respect and be a doormat.
It is easy to suspect a man. I possibly had committed mental adultery. Since she was not satisfying me in mental sense, would participate in social gatherings, I became away from her mentally and started sharing feelings jokes with others which she assumed as physical relationship.
2. 20 years means, you have entirely used up her productive years of her life. Most probably she is not employed or employable, as she has used her skillsets towards maintaining you, your son and your home. So, on that grounds, people do sell their old cows to butcher houses, since she can milk no more. We can understand very well what is your primitive mental set-up.
She was a beautician. Now she is a bakery specialist. She is employable, but she wants to own business. I have offered her, I am ready to leave IIT faculty job to run her business, she does not want. Now business in Delhi is not a joke. And she cannot run it herself. In fact our complain is this: She is always busy in cleaning home, gardening, cooking or making cakes which she sells in locality. Not much profitable as she does not employ people.
About milking her.. what do you expect from me? Do you mean Man has not been milked because milk does not come out of us. I have offered her.. see you do not want s*x, no affection, no touching even. That means now you are my sister or mother. I indeed care for you. So why not become my mother and relieve me of this s*xual bondage and frustration.
3. You sent her only true relation, which makes a woman feel complete, away from her...saying mother-son relation not good. Are you human? Are you suffering from some psychological problems? Until I read your last message, I was thinking that your son is probably 18-19 and is having growing up troubles, with his mother, who may be the only correcting factor in his life, since you have morally no right after your conduct. But when you said he is 12....and then he understands so much...even has bad relation with his mother...I think you must be seriously suffering a mental handicap. Instead of joining lawyers forum, can you see some health expert, psychiatrist. This is important. I wonder what kind of child development you can ensure your son, as you are yet to attain adult maturity and are fixed up yet in child ego...where you have to have the ice-cream which the other child is having.
Why do you think it makes a women feel complete and not a man. Truly speaking. I will tell you the total story:
We knew each other from childhood. We married when we were both 23. I was a student with scholarship to study masters. In PhD I would not have scholarship. I actually wanted to join industry. But she made me join PhD. She was pregnant then and we agreed to abort (Biggest mistake of our life). After some time when we stabilized, the child wold not come. I agree she underwent difficult time, even mental torture as every phone call would be asked
“Any news?” But was I responsible? I stood by her. Finally 7 years in our marriage I changed job and City. She decided not to join Job. And she became pregnant.
Interesting part now:
Once in pregnancy, I started enjoying signing to my son in stomach. The mother would sleep at night and almost every mid night I would get and sign and enjoy time with each other. My wife was told that if the baby doesnot move for 24 hours, we should immediately report to hospital. It was 7th month/ I got a call that baby has not possibly moved for 24 hours. I rush home. Realized it was a busy day for her. I knew baby takes rest when mother is busy. I asked her to rest and lie down. As she relaxed, I sand song and the baby started jumping in minutes.
This was possibly my second mistake that I created a bond that was not natural.
After birth, the child would always look for me. All women everywhere felt jealous about the time and love I gave to my child. She allowed me.
As he grew, she started feeling irritation because of my forgetting nature, not praying to god, talking unnecessarily to everyone, laughing loudly and see that my son was also growing these habits. My son was recently diagnosed as ADHD and I am possibly so too. He has writing difficulty and would not write in school the whole day. Only person whom he would study with was me. He always found me comforting, strict and logical. He could study with me for hours. My son was a swimmer.
But these over dependence was killing me. We would physically cuddle, hug and play with each other always.
Mother never shared these bonds. She was a strict mother always snatching away everything. There was a time when my son would joke, Papa don’t promise, I know you can’t keep as mother will Veto.
I could not leave son and mother alone one day. They would fight. My son would not study and continuously play computer and watch TV. I wondered why this big difference between my presence and absence.
It was indeed tough for my wife when he left, but was it less difficult for me?
Till he was there, My life was him. Before he was born, my wife was working and being in university I had to only study and have lots of free time. She was a workaholic.
Now when my son has left, I understood why my son felt bored.. He had no one to talk to/ Life was boring. Absolutely, there was no positive interaction with mother. Now I also spend all the time in computer and nothing else to do.
I am good in maths. I am planning to find orphanage and become a maths teacher in my free time.
Son is very happy in Hostel. Was I wrong?
4. Why are you breaking your only foundation, man? Your wife is the only one, who is standing behind you, with your so many shortcomings. I don't know what your compulsions are....however, your multiple s*x partners or mistress that too fixed....suggests that you will never ever have a surity of any kind in whatever relations you pursue. You are a bad husband and a worse father. Still you have a family to come back to in bad times. Where will you go, if you are suddenly detected of a time-taking and killing disease like AIDS or cancer. As it is, BP, diabetes and other old age progressive diseases is also not far away, considering your age. Who will give you water, when you will be frail enough not to rise up from bed. Mind you, the acts you are indulging in ...are leading you faster towards this end.
Sorry, I still don’t have. I am just checking the legality. I have indeed been faithful. Going through counselling trying to make her understand that suspect does not help.
And thanks, I will go slow and careful. Trust me, I will possibly choose one mistress. My wife do not want a divorce. I will try finding out someone who is compatible with me and I will be faithful to her surely.
5. I would strictly advise you to stay put in brothel for a year or two. Have so much of s*x...that it just eats all your so-called zeal up. May be you see a light thereafter. Don't worry. Your wife doesn't seem to be one, who will take you to court for adultery. She has given up on you, already. She knows it too well that you are simply a bad guy.
Thanks for the complements.