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Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     17 January 2012

Western culture leading to matrimonial discord

KANPUR:

 

Mohit (name changed), an employee of multinational bank, has a strained relationship with his wife who is a management executive in a business institution. Due to ego clash, they start living separately and file separation suit in the family court.

This is just a case in point. There are several such cases pending in the family court. Economic parity, ego clash and adoption of Western culturehave given rise to matrimonial discord in the country. The number of such cases is increasing. The Supreme Court had expressed concern a few months back and stated that each district of the country now needs a family court. So far, there are 465 districts that have a family court.

Kanpur is witnessing increase in matrimonial disputes. As many as 3319 cases had been registered in family court in 2011. The figure was around 2,100 in 2010. In 2009, around 1,570 cases were registered. Of the 3,319 new cases, there are 1,900 cases of matrimonial disputes (separation, divorce, 'bidai' and restitution of conjugal rights).

There is stagnation in maintenance cases. There were around 1,255 cases of maintenance against 1,300 in 2010. In 2009, the figure was almost same. In 2008, the number of maintenance cases stood at 1,110.

Asha Sharma, a lawyer, claimed that the way society was changing, the matrimonial life was also being affected. Economic parity of both the spouses and ego clash were the main causes for breaking the matrimony. Explaining her point, she said most of the earning couples today were undergoing ego clashes.

The reconciliation officers of family court said zero tolerance was witnessed in spouses in cases where both partners were earning. It becomes difficult in pacifying and pushing them to reach an amicable settlement.

The worst factor in such strained relationship was blind support of the family members.

 

Instead of trying to unite them, the relatives add fuel by making it a prestige issue, said Suresh Kumar, a lawyer dealing with matrimonial cases.

According to a judicial official said that changing culture was the reason of disintegration of the families. The joint family culture is a matter of past. Concept of nuclear family is fading fast, he added.

Another lawyer DK Pathak said law-makers had made the separation easy in Hindu Marriage Act. Section 13 of the act points out those spouses can separate with mutual consent. The worst sufferers in matrimonial disputes are children. They are deprived of the affection of the father or the mother.

 

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/kanpur/Western-culture-leading-to-matrimonial-discord/articleshow/11519205.cms



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 7 Replies

Ranee....... (NA)     17 January 2012

But noew-a days Indian Husbands refuse to maintains wives if separation/divorce occurs..i am damn sure after surfing this site..then what is wrong if women  asks for equality?

.......the child would be the sufferer of this ego..that gives me much pain,...such egoistic couples should not give birth to children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     17 January 2012

west. culture is responsible for making people selfish.

 

but indian culture has been no good.

 

making marriage a business contract(dowry),in-laws forcing an infertile wife to leave husband so that he can remarry,etc. all happened within indian scenarios.for centuries women have tolerated this,in the name of upholding their family's prestige.

 

our prob. is that we are not balanced.

 

we are extremes of everyth.

 

either we become too orthodox and suppress women to the extent of treating them as slaves(as has happened in the past)

 

or else we are becoming too westernized and therefore immoral,intolerant,etc.today,most metro men want working wives.later on when egos clash,these men only criticize such wives for being arrogant and misusing their financial independence.but the same men looked down upon a non-working girl,as she is regarded backward nowadays.so they went ahead to marry a career gal,to maintain their prestige in society..

 

high time we learn to balance life


(Guest)

Agree that ego is one of the cause of divorce but who will suffer more by this ego?

cm jain sir (ccc)     18 January 2012

1)There shud be a separate system to deal with matrimonial problems and police/ court shud not come in this system. Remeber our forefathers how they dealt the matrimonial issues. it was all decided by panchayat meetings and people were afraid on those days also to do injustice to wife/husband/children etc.

2) I agree children are the worst sufferer on these discord.

3)Husband - wife ego is not a problem for them and i think they can manage it. when Ego come in the FIL/MIL/BIL/SIL relationship then hus wife also becomes helpless.

4)Everybody suffers from divorce including hus , wife, children and parents.

5)I think the main reason for divorce is our sensitivity level. Our relationship have become more sensitive and delicate. our expectations are high from other partener. These are not due to western culture but due to our selfishness.

6)Maintaining a healthy marriage requires sacrifices, attention, trust, patience and care which is lacking in our present lifestyle.


(Guest)

I have seen few spouse in my neighborhood they do defer live commentary to their parents.

At the time of marriage those spouse promise in front of "Agni" that she will obey other spouse and will not leak out internal matter of the spouse house.

bhima balla (none)     29 March 2012

My opinion is:

I do not agree that western culture is making people selfish. In west too people pine to have a wonderful family life. The majority would want to be married/remain married to wonderful person for life. It is a myth that western people want to divorce. Divorce however gained acceptance, due to the influence of the same movement and 'reforms' that is sweeping India now.

Western advances in living, opportunity and liberation has provided choices and options. People want to try new options when available. Grass is greener on the other side mentality. But people have realised that there are even more problems than before and not all is well.

It is up to Indians whether or not to adopt western lifestyle. With the changing society, laws are made to keep up with the changes. But unfortunately , although we have the foresight of what went wrong with western concepts Indian laws are repeating the same mistakes- rather than trying to stay ahead of the curve.

More Indian women are working these days. Working women are preffered. Dual income brings forth better financial stability and raises living standards, provides better opportunities for children. However just because a woman works does not mean she can abandon her other duties. A lot of husbands are taking a share in household work etc. Now with these new found weapons and the constant encouragement for women to stay her ground and not adapt, compromise etc-conflict is natural. The ciontribution of wife's ego, uncompromising nature, dislike for inlaws, control issues, laziness, incompetence in managing household, lack of adaptation etc  cannot be ignored. If laws are being made as though one party can do no wrong-then that is a problem. Misuse of laws are rampant. Punishment for such misuse nonexistent. These are breaking the society.

A large social movement is necessary to educate Indian society as to the new changes and to enable the soceity to adapt to these fast changing times. People are confused and are having quite a difficult time to adapt and cope with these new changes. That is the problem. Laws rather than mitigating is compounding the problem. Laws are not the answer to a lot of these issues. That is my opinion.

 


(Guest)

I am of the view that Like in US a couple dates for years before getting married, India should also follow the same besides other western things.

Also LivIn relationship should be very prevalent in India as well, Infact I follow the same...

Our Indian parents whether its Boy's or Girls are basically hypocrites, They will let marriage happen betwen there son or daughter with there spouse as per there wishes but when the relationship does not work then they wont let there daughters give divorce or will start asking for unreasonable money... WHY is this?

When particularly in this modern India both Boy and girl are educated and financially independent, then WHY THE HELL MAN SHOULD SUPPORT HIS EARNING WIFE and WHY THE LAWS ARE SAME FOR VILLAGES AND METROS?

Metro women are much smarter and know there rights and very well know how to misuse it


I know but nothing will change except increase in the crime rate in Mera Bharat Mahaan....


 


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