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Siddhartha Sunkara ( PM)     29 December 2012

Way forward for divorce

Dear all,

I mutually want to conclude the my marriage which took in mid March 2012.

What are the steps I need to take are of for a mutual divorce (i do not know what her intension towards mutual divorce)?

Below her present demand, but I am not willing to satisfy her demand as I have not done any wrong till now.

(rather I feel traped & betrayed which was played by her & her parents, but unfortunately i do not how can i prove)

Not even i have taken any dowry or any materialictic item (even the wedding band ring it was tight so they took it back the next day, to exchange but they never gave the replacement). their were no demands from my parents or me in any aspects  - before/during/after marriage.

Current situation/demand from her:

There was a  fourth discussion meeting in early Sept'12, in which my parents along with 1 moderator from my side and from her side 3 moderators & a lawyer (as their friend) participated.

Demand: During this meeting the lawyer conveyed that as compensation, they are expecting that we construct a house on 2nd floor of the girls parents building or equalent amount as money.

There was a long gap of 3 months after this meeting, and suddenly Mid December'12 she writes an email to me asking - "So long time what are you thinking. What is your decision?"

and on the same day she tries to call my father asking for a time slot to meet in person for a discussion.

via her lawyer she is demanding a house or equalent settlement amount, at the same time she is sending some mediators to our mediators stating it is not good to separate ..and rather to continue the relation.

(my mediators say it looks like some sort of double game from her side, in order to get more settlement amount (in one way she is putting her demand for settlement and in the other way she is saying will continue) hmmm)

the next meeting is fixed by end of Dec'12.

kindly suggest me some tips to handle better in the up coming meeting end of Dec'12. What specifically to be taken care.

Regards,

Siddhartha Sunkara

 

Brief points:

- before and after marriage she never talked...always reciprocates/replies with "hmmm" or "yaa"

When asked by her parents, they said she is shy....     but it doesnt seem like that for any of us

- all together we stayed after marriage 3 days in my parents house, 2 days in her parents house & 3 days in a resort.. afterwhich my holidays finished and i flew back to UK

- all the time that i stayed with her she mostly didnt talk and not even touched...was not free

- on the first night she avoids me (if touched she shouted & scremed loudl) and conveyed that "she doesnt like marriage in general for this life", it was always her parents & family forcing her to get married..

(the same she communicated to my mother during one of the days she visited them after marriage)

- after i came back here to UK, she went back to her parents house (as it would be convinient for her work)

- she came only on 3 days to my parents house (one day each on the next 3 succesisive weekends)

- everyday i was talking whenever possible (in between the work gaps, etc), but same she at the most said "hmmm"..."yaa"..

- during her stay at my parents house, in a conversation wiht her my mother got to know that she has lots of unwanter hair like men, her monthly cycles are irregular and delayed, etc, etc,,,immediately my mother consulted my family doctor and requested her & her parents to consult the edocrinologist & gynecologist suggested by our family doc.

- the resutls came from both the specialists stating her to have PCOD/PCOS (high levels of cysts in her overies) and men harmones..and some other health issues like diabts, high coles..etc..

- my family & I supported morally her & her parents... and even were searching & suggesting the precautionary steps that we can take as remedies not to worsen the situation...as cycts tending to cancer or etc..

suggested some more doctors or yoga, dietry plan options, etc...etc..

even my sis (in medical field) who stays in US ...suggested many docs or the remedy steps and the wayforward to her via many emails..

i as well suggested her that health is more important, so if I were her..i would have stopped working and concentrated on betterment of health before she joins me here in UK...

(it seems she resigned but i do not know the facts)

- mid April she comes over the weekend my mom cooks her favorite foods, etc...

when i called to my home she picked up the phone but hands over to my mother stating that im on the phone (but  she didnt even say hello to me even on seeing my name on the phone display) and next day morning she leaves my parents home stating her brother-in-law is coming to her parents house on that day so want to meet him...

this was the last day that she came or spoke to me or their parents with my parents...

- the next folliowing days i & my parents try to call but one or the other reason they dont talk...we as well asked if there is anything they are most welcome we all can sit and talk...but they didnt turn up...

my dad requested her father...to come to our house for discussing if there are any issues and its our childerens marriage life.....

her fathers response was that he is busy.....what is there to wait for 2 or 3 days ...he will call and come..but he never called...even my dad asked can he talk to my wife...he replied she is not at home...my dad requested to call her when she is back...but she never called...

- early june they contacted and came to my parents home.....started fighting that we have not given food to her, my mother didnt say her to talk to me on phone when i called home on the last day that she stayed in my parents house, etc...for us everything was surprising...as my mom made her favorite food esplly for her that day, and most surprising alligation with respect to the phone ..she lifted and accepted my phone call...didnt say hello to me & took the phone where my mom was doing someother work....its so funny...

- after that there were similar two more discussion sessions (end of june & mid july) )they weresimply draging or arguing same points and ofcourse twisting the sentences or inserting lies from whichh was agreed & said in the previous sessions...etc..another surprising point was that they brought along with them a lawyer (introducing him as their friend)...

from our side it was always my parents & I (via phone), none from outside as we thought it is family internal matter and there are misunderstanding or negative thinking by the girl & her parents...

- the 4th discussion session (in arly sept) i have described above at the beginning of the mail "Current situation/demand from her:" where they put forward their demand



Learning

 7 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     29 December 2012

Observations:

1. Skin of NRI married men – Legally Tasty [answers ultimatum given to you for 1 floor making at FIL place in lieu of easy divorce!]
2.
You will come to know about your wife well only when you meet her in court [answers your and your family’s bewilderment about her so far acts of omissions and commissions till date]

Two remedies offered in interactive discussion board:-

A. Contest come what may in days to come!
B. Opt for MCD by parting cost of 1 Floor making at FIL place.

Now the discussion:-

For AIt is easy on your part to cause upon an Civil cause of action. How? By filing Civil divorce case on grounds of FRAUD committed in a marriage. i.e. had you known before marriage her hirsutism and PCOS conditions you would not have said yes and married her. Right!
Both condition donot develop overnight and are detrimental to life and limb (civil cause title) in a marriage and cannot be treated overnight and thus it is a devastating marriage.
Most of the time, a woman only has fine hair, or peach fuzz, above the lips and on the chin, chest, abdomen, or back. If she has coarse, dark hairs in these areas, the condition is called hirsutism. Such hair growth is more typical of men. There is no permanent cure. In marriage atleast in
India men don’t marry men is inference drawn in civil cause of action!
PCOS happens when a woman's ovaries or adrenal glands produce more male hormones than normal. PCOS results into; Infertility (Women with polycystic ovary syndrome do not form eggs regularly so they may be unable to conceive, means in this marriage you cannot have next line of succession from your own
DNA!), constant Pelvic pain (means then no s*x forever for you as a husband as she will always say no due to her constant pelvic pain!), excess hair growth on the face / chest / stomach / thumbs or toes, Baldness or thinning hair, Acne, oily skin, or dandruff and Patches of thickened dark brown or black skin (means can a husband is expected to live with a wife forever without any fault of his due to not been informed of her medical condition in the society he keeps is inference here). Rightly described in your brief women with PCOS are at higher risk of diabetes, metabolic syndrome, heart disease, and high blood pressure. There is no permanent cure. In marriage atleast in India men don’t marry for not having a child of their own is inference drawn in civil cause of action!


What to do once you file option A civil cause of action suit matter?

Hon’ble SC has already given green signal to medical tests in civil marriage cases in reference to context cause of action cases so it is not difficult to draw up a petition under Fraud in marriage and prayer for dissolving marriage on fraud grounds with request for following medical tests on wife via Court order.

Now subject her to following tests via Court Order for her hirsutism conditions; Testosterone, DHEA-S, LH, FSH, Prolactin and 17-hydroxyprogesterone her hirsutism will come out in material records of the Court. These tests result will confirm her condition and by cross examining the medical specialist one can draw position on life and limb which is what is drawn in reference fraud case to a civil marriage.
Also subject her to following tests via Court Order for her PCOS conditions; FSH, LH, LH/FSH ratio, Prolactin, Testosterone, DHEAS, Estrogens, SBGH, Androstenedione, hCG, Lipid profile, Glucose, Insulin, TSH, Free Cortisol and Creatinine levels, 17-hydroxyprogesterone, IGF-1, A pelvic ultrasound and Pelvic laparoscopy. These tests result will confirm her condition and by cross examining the medical specialist one can draw position on life and limb which is what is drawn in reference fraud case to a civil marriage.

How to go about for remedy A:
1.
Search for an advocate via reference who has in depth knowledge about medical fraud in civil matrimonial cases and can speak assertively before Bench and draw inference of life and limb in your favour in Court of Law.
2. Draw petition under Fraud in marriage i.e. not aware of her medical condition and thus life and limb threat inmarriage and not inclined to continue in marriage and such petition can be filed right now.
3. Subject her to medical tests via arguing referring SC Judgment in facts.
4. Cross examine the medical specialist and s/he should say on record if marriage can be rosy or not or is there any permanent treatment solution. The moment his statement is brought to your cause title the case is all yours and the marriage will be dissolved by a decree in divorce under fraud and she will be not even entitled for interim maintenance leave aside permanent alimony.
5. Show this reply to your NRI sister who you say is in medical profession.   

Calculated drawback once option A chosen:-
1.
She / her side will retaliate by counter cases such as criminal complaints of dowry, mental cruelties, right to residence. Compensation under DV Act and maintenance cases under both civil as well as quasi criminal i.e. S. 125 CrPC.
2. Good no. of times visits to Women’s Cell r/w police station and lots of chaos in your family may happen. AB or regular Bail also on cards.
Reason being she / her side needs social face saving before the society they keep once you file fraud based civil divorce case or even if you donto file anything very soon they are going to cause upon you / your family criminal matrimonial cases since you are an NRI and hint they already gave by FIL opennign his 2 inch mouth asking you to build first floor in his plot / land I mean what more tell tale sighns coming you need to watch for !

For B:- After consulting with your lawyer r/w your family / relatives and friends who may get hit once above cause action instituted and long court trial for years the alternate option is to guess how much the floor building cost comes to and if you can afford the cost meet it via Mutual Consent Divorce Route sometime in March 2013 (as minimum 1 year need to be completed for MCD) BUT pay the money after decree in MCD is passed. This is plain vanilla route and careful Terms and Conditions i.e. MoU document has to be drawn and there is no guarantee that she / her father may even ask to build one more floor during MCD proceedings by some or the other social pressure modes
J

Re-read 5 times above, consult a local lawyer, read past 100 messages relating to mental cruelty (S. 498a IPC) , dowry laws , maintenance discussions and then opt best suitable out of the above two. If you ask me my opinion then I will lay my 2 Cents on option A for a simple fact she cannot be stopped even if I pay her floor building cost she has to definitely rope me and my family into criminal litigation as she has to show to society she keeps as in she is not at fault and is innocent victim r/w she / her side has already sought legal opinions by introducing an advocate who joined them as friend
J
and it is me who is 100% at fault that is Indian psyche when NRI cases comes into picture and what is meant to happen will happen but then remedy A is best to stop all her moves if I were in your place I would go for option A.

[Last reply]

1 Like

Chetan Joshi (Advisory/Advocacy)     29 December 2012

If you choose to pay, do it post mcd...As the other route, you may file a divorce based on fraud ( medical Reasons )....

 

 

If you litigate, MAR 2013 will be the initiation point....Above all you ought to have a Good lawyer VIA reference who can strategies it for you...

 

 

 

Regards

 

Chetan(dot)7679(at)gmail(dot)com

Siddhartha Sunkara ( PM)     30 December 2012

@ Dear Tajobsindia:

Thank you very much for such a detailed response and way forward suggestion.

As you suggested will thing over the two options and will consult with my family and ofcourse my family.

I shall as well keep the above points suggested by you during the next meeting planned for end of Dec'
12. Will update soon after the meeting.

@ Dear Chetan:

thank you, sure must see how the next discussion meeting goes and will try to opt accordingly.

and shall find and appoint good lawyer.

Siddhartha Sunkara ( PM)     30 December 2012

oh forgot one more point with regards to the option B from the above response of @Tajobsindia

if after signing MCD and before decree in MCD is passed,

can the girl/her family revert back the decision?

How much time does it take to get a decree in MCD passed?

do they have right to put any further cases on me or my family?

Can in MCD the below all points be specified (guess aligations should be avoided)

- the differences between the two parties arouse due to the mental mismatch and incompatibilities tending to not working marriage relation and the marriage did not consummate.

- Both the parties agree not to proceed in future with any further cases, claims, aligations against each other.

(Maybe the above sentences are not legally phrases, hopefully my intension is conveyed to you)

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     31 December 2012

 

 

Originally posted by : Siddhartha Sunkara

 


can the girl/her family revert back the decision?
Take: Yes as "consent" has to be through out the period by both parties.

How much time does it take to get a decree in MCD passed?
Take: Minimum 6 months and maximum 18 months is cooling period. One can file in March and get decree (provided consent is carried forward) in August

do they have right to put any further cases on me or my family?
Take: Ex wife if not re-married she has a right. Ex wife if not given up right to residence specifically by a statement she has right to residence post MCD. Normally most do not file but then in
India there are always exceptions in marital laws. Keep always once fingers crossed.

Can in MCD the below all points be specified (guess allegations should be avoided)

- the differences between the two parties arouse due to the mental mismatch and incompatibilities tending to not working marriage relation and the marriage did not consummate.
Take: Yes - get it refined and yes can be stated.

- Both the parties agree not to proceed in future with any further cases, claims, aligations against each other.
Take: Yes - get it refined and yes can be stated.

XXX

 

 

Akshay Sahni (Founder/Partner)     31 December 2012

 

Dear Sir,

We would be able to help you through, for any further details please visit firm's website : www.indialawhelp.com

 

Regards

Akshay Sahni

Advocate

09891982832

Partner

India Law Help

rajiv_lodha (zz)     31 December 2012

Sahni Saab

U have flooded the threads with ur advertisement! This is a discussion site, come forward to help the victims here only if u want so


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