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Kunal Mukherjee (Father)     06 November 2010

Save Indian Family & Such Other Abuse

I joined this portal today, the idle Saturday in the aftermath of Diwali 2010 - a Diwali, needless to say, that I had spent alone, as I have been for the past five Diwalis, and Christmasses, and Durga Pujas, and Birthdays ....

One of the first topics that caught my attention on this forum was authored by Hema (Family Law>STOP MISUSE OF THIS PORTAL), stridently objecting to attempts - through this forum - to advocate and promote the Save Indian Family Foundation citing - correctly I am sure - how such attempts went against the very tenets of this portal. Her appeal was promptly seconded by Ms. Renuka. Strangely, the subsequent postings in response - at least the ones I glanced through, all coincidentally by members of the not-so-fair-s*x, were not so critical about such 'MISUSE'.

I wonder, what is this forum for anyway ? For that matter, what is LAW for ? I thought that the very purpose of having laws, rules, justice et al was to save the family, the individual, the group, the society, the human race ..... why is it that the very mention of SIFF - however misplaced or misdirected they may (or may not) be - raised the hackles of two (coincidentally) ladies on this forum ?

Is, unknown to us all, a gender divide being subliminally created in our society ?

I do not believe that our parents had any such foreboding; after all they did not have to tackle even conceptual implications of 498A's or DV Acts or even have to digest a legal dictum that refuses to categorise an adulterous married woman with an equally adelterous married man. Gender equality in those times were achieved through educated perceptions and not draconian laws.

Remember apartheid ? Was it quelled with Botha's guns ? It was resolved by a generation which had matured enough to promote equality of skin pigmentation despite the fact that this meant 'giving up' many privileges of being born white.

The oppressed woman of India, and YES, they have been and continue to be oppressed under various circumstances - who are rapidly beginning to be perceived as a massive vote bank, a potential magic symbol of human rights 'restored' – are now being empowered by our lawmakers. These laws are powerful tools which have to be handled and used astutely to battle such historical oppression. Unfortunately everyone is in a hurry and therefore new tools are used without anyone bothering to read the instruction manual. As a result, such tools metamorphose to a weapon of destruction in the hands of a section of urban women who are now able to generate excellent and continued profits from the marriage-torture-divorce-alimony cycle. Rural women – who could have been the true beneficiaries – receive no succour from these laws and the gender imbalance, traditionally limited to the man-on-top version has now has now spawned a deadly alter ego – the urban woman-on-top version in addition to the traditional evil.

No wonder the intelligent society cries out for a SIFF or a CRISP.

And no wonder, a section of the urban Indian woman, cannot stand these.

Man & woman have both co-existed for ever. We still can. We men need to change as do the new breed of women. Let us not become puppets for manipulation in the hands of our lawmakers.

We will be punishing our children most, if we allow that to happen.


 7 Replies

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     06 November 2010

What is new breed of women by the way? 

A breed of women who can see through the injustice of male dominated systems? A breed of women who has ability to analyse and counter argue? A breed of women who says no longer subtle and gross violence would be tolerated anymore? 

Why?  Hum  ADHUNIK Admiyon  ko Intna Bhi Gussa Aata Hai new breed of women Par???? Baat Kuch samajh mein Nahi Aati Hai???

Kunal Mukherjee (Father)     06 November 2010

The women who should not be tolerating subtle / gross violence are mostly in the rural segments of our country. We see them in the maid servants who work at our houses, we find them in the dhobi who collects laundry faithfully every week, we discover them in the ayahs that we commission to look after the elderly and the sick in our homes. These are the women who come limping, with bruises on their faces, unable to lift their arms that were wrenched brutally behind them. We see more of these soon after payday every month, remember ?

These are the women who our laws - and reforms thereof - need to protect. These are the women who - unlike their uneducated and alcoholic husbands - are committed to educating their progeny and dream of a different future for their next generation. These are the women who have started the CHANGE this society is crying out for.

How many such women do we find in Court ?

The new breed of women are NOT the ones "who can see through the injustice of male dominated systems" or even "women who has ability to analyse and counter argue" far less "women who says no longer subtle and gross violence would be tolerated anymore". I welcome such women for these individuals - by virtue of their intellect, their foresight, their maturity and emotional balance would be seeking to correct societal imbalances NOT avenge a section of the society. The difference is, indeed, subtle yet powerful and perhaps this is the "Baat Kuch" jo "samajh mein Nahi Aati Hai".

The new breed I have referred to is an opportunistic group of - primarily urban women. They DO NOT represent the bulk of the fairer gender but are growing fast enough - thanks to the lacunae in our legal and associated systems - to emerge as a credible threat to the Indian Child, the Indian Family and the Indian Society in LESS than a generation from today.

If anyone chooses to be naive (or politically correct) enough to ignore this fact, he may also consider praying that his son, or mine, when they marry 20 years or so hence, do not encounter one of this breed.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     06 November 2010


 @ Hedevil Hydraheaded

New breed of wife are as follows in case you still wearing rainbow glasses;

1. WHO on drop of a hat donot hesitate on next morning post marriage nite to file criminal cases against the entire side of husbands family.
Reasoning: As if on very first nite whole history / geography / societal side of husbands side of family is authoratively read down by HER. I salute to such NEW TRAINING.

2. WHO call their husband and his side of entire family on very first night dowry seekers.
Reasoning: As if dowry giving is no crime but taking dowry is circumstances what a farce peddled now-a-days.

3. WHO do not hesitate to tell their husband on very first nite that he is a impotent.
Reasoning: The less said about man's anatomy "training / experience of love making" a wife comes packaged with and or has prior experience / prior knowledge the better for retaining sense and sensibility of family law forum.  

4. WHO do not think twice to use all available current maint. laws on the very first marriage morning on their husband.
Reasoing: By this rate the Legislative wing of Parliament is running short of maint. Laws to please wife's vote bank. Opps Sexual Harassment at Work Place Bill has been passed thanks heavens !

5. WHO are always looking for "compensation cost" irrespective of educated or comes from status family or no status is no issue with her.
Reasoning: Compensation for what ? is no
Newton's Law of Third Motion guess work here hence less reasoned the better to retain the harmony of Family Law Forum is my early view.

6. WHO donot know what child birth coupled with child caring is all about.
Reasoning: Pick up stats of C-section births Vs. natural labor births from any Govt. to very modern Cradle clinic mushrooming pan India you will affirm my reasoning why C-section is getting more popular. In case you want explicit facts here itself without wanting to do painful research on this then a C-section is zip-zap-pop kinda most effective popular means of modern breed of wife's in relation to nature’s way of practice of her own grandma so rest one can imagine what will assume to follow when that very child starts toting.

7. WHO have a boy friend / affair still alive on the very first nite of marriage onwards.
Reasoning: In today's BPO culture breed modern wife's it is always healthy habit to inculcate a 'spare' fall upon guy and it is acceptable too by her family and supported by 'circumstances" clause by ld. Courts so lesser said the healthy growth is seen is my view.

8. WHO force their parents to give dowry to equate their smooth climb up of status at par with grooms status.
Reasoning: Pervading Star TV culture clubbed with modernity in India starting from mushrooming Retail Chains to BPO in such towns (well Indian census still classifies Tier II places under town so my usage of wordings here should not be alien) is called as "classification" based on "HER circumstances" and to get a status groom it is well advertised in average 16 pages Matrimonial print adv. to 6 million prospective brides adv. in cyber space so what is news here !

9. WHO sob sob on every statements in marital home.
Reasoning: Be it village lady to most ultra modern Indian metropolis if and only if the MIL or HIS side of family utters a single word on first morning to modern bahu it is 'verbal abuse' and poor Soli Sorabji is now finding it hard to re-define what is verbal abuse after his 2007 interview in TOI, Mumbai edition.

10. WHO donot know if a onion to be washed or not washed before peeling and if told by Mil then this breed files DV Act against her with a drop of hat!
Reasoning: Microwave and fast food pervaded culture the soni kudi has been maintained so far so new breed of wife say WHAT IS A ONION, first of all; a fruit or seasoning ????

11. WHO like to squat at matrimonial home even after being highly educated and able bodied in the name of preferential ‘home maker’ in today's modern age and prefer even not to work during the (for her it is not so expensive just bze prof. pleaders are handy a dime a dozen for new breed of wife's) litigation and post litigation phases !
Reasoning: I explained it in above to cut short such usual reasonology whether you subscribe or not it is your marital life which is going to make you experience very soon.

12. WHO like to remain behind screen of "class or reasonable classification legislation", though our own Hon’ble SC has time and time again said it is barred by Art. 14 COI.
Reasoning: Lollipops given by Legislature and Hon'ble SC right through bottom pillars of Judiciary are dime a dozen illustrations and only a awakened husband whose tail is on fire can shuttle the process of abuse so lesser explained as mind blowing reasoning to modern breed of wife's the better. Afterall conservation of words is also one of the agenda of environmental minister Hon'ble Shri Jairam.... whom I follow to my last penny. 

13. WHO are known only to follow as their birthrights only RIGHTS and toss out DUTIES.
Reasoning: Manusmriti, Ramayana / Mahabharata, Mynes Treaties to Lord Dannings (Who is he) and Late Prof. Paras Diwan are history ladies (ops man) they are good only for dusting once a year in the name of Deepawali white wash so I will conserve some more of more reasoning and say YES RIGHTS is the only WORD given by English Laws to a free democratic national sometimes called as Bharat.

Colly. reasoning (in case rainbow glasses still on):

Take a sample size of 5 L women pan
India   / pan status and feel it yourself who are NEW BREED OF WOMEN are afterall.

B. Read under Family Law forum 100 past messages under maint. / 498a / DVA and see what 4 major que. women authors have only asked and if replied in conventional wisdom (I sometimes call it as facts of Law) how battered the male repliers were treated by the same prof. community who have taken Oath to tell the facts and correct truth and nothing else before Bench ! Well was that some Oath........

C. Or wait for sometime see how many thumbs down and un-conventional replies by prof. and non legal members will speak authoritatively on your asked question i.e. WHO ARE NEW BREED OF WOMEN !

However, victims of gender biased laws may add from their received Complaint copy what their side of new breed of women were like.

PS.: I have nothing for and or against these new breed of wife’s. I infact welcome them with my legal knowledge base which is only one thing they can never rebut point wise. Well would you like to try; new breed of wife's (readers) ! 

Kunal Mukherjee (Father)     06 November 2010

Lol, there are bigger cynics here than I thought. And marriage brokers to boot .... I guess we all learn from our respective experiences ...wish we could learn from each others ...

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     06 November 2010


Sometimes when people do not speak, do not think they are impressed by you, it is just that they are bored and tired by what you are saying....

This is for one who loves the word rainbow glasses...

manjit kalra (system eng)     06 November 2010

add to this those who try to create a divide by calling themselves a gender researcher , and just make false claims about abuse of women.

reasoning for c-section is no secret, its for bf to be happy forever.

DEFENSE ADVOCATE.-firmaction@g (POWER OF DEFENSE IS IMMENSE )     06 November 2010

well harassed husbands pl find clever methods of counter attack to solve your problems.

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