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swapna (hr)     04 January 2014

Requesting genuine advice on divorce on verbal abuse grounds

here i am back to this forum for a genuine advise and support from all of you. i am married for 9 years now and have 2 kids of age 7 and 3 yrs. some time back i was in this forum seeking advice for my husbands physical abuse on me. However we reconciled in March 2013. Few months were fine. but then again he started showing up his colors but this time it was not physical abuse, but a verbal abuse and a mental torture. he started accusing me saying i flirt with everyone, though its a vegetable vendor, milk man, or any neighbour. he says i jollyfy men. when we both had been to one of the wedding receptions of our neighbour he accused me of staring at men. anywhere we go he always verbally abuses me of seeing other men. the very recent incident is 15days back, where he says that he got a call from one number and that person told that ur wife has an affair with her boss. this incident happend when he was in his office and he least bothered to check if that call was a genuine and immediately rushed in to my office and started behaving very aggressively with me. the way he was creating a scene there was seen by many of the staff, security, drivers, ayahs etc. by the ways i work in one of the reputed educational institutions as HR. and then i sent him saying i would come home and we will sort out the issues. and started immediately. as he confirmed that i was on the way to home. he again went to my office and behaved very aggresively with my superior asking him directly "Do you have affair with my wife","I will get people (rowdies) and kidnap you and dont mind even killing you, if the call wat i got is true", "my wife is not satisfying me in s*x since 2 yrs, may be she is enjoying here with you tats y she is doing this to me". after reaching home i tried calling him, his mobile was swiched off, i dint know he had been to my office and after he came home we went to police station to complaint about that number. and meanwhile my brother confirmed that its a TATA Docomo number 8951055098, and google has many complaints on this number. i took my husband to cyber and showed him all the complaints on this particular number. even then he dint trust me, he started saying me that if you happily enjoy with him and come home should i close my eyes and sit. you want more of s*x so you go to anyone.next day they asked(office heads) asked us to come together to discuss and sort out the matter. but even with them he talks the same. he says them that my wife should not work here. they made me resign on the spot. i am jobless now. i lost a very dignified career in a good place. since then i am getting into depression crying every day. after hearing all these abuse i feel like killing my self. i am from a very decent and disciplined family and my parents and we have a good name in the place we live as we are living here since ages. i dont feel like living with this person any more as he always suspects my character. speaks vulgar language. if i have password to my mobile it means i have p*rn in it, if i wear saree to office he says do i go to pose for blue films. i am fed up of this. please advice me on how do i proceed with my divorce. since this incident i am in my parents house. Kindly suggest me, if i file for divorce 1. should i go to lawyer and send him(my husband) a notice,2. will my children be with me. 3. the house which me and my husband are staying the land is given by my parents however he has invested 15Lakhs to construct the house. so should we give him this money back. 4. whether i can start looking for a new job. 5. any other challenges please advice thanks


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 3 Replies

great india (manager)     06 January 2014

why on this earth you facing such mental cruelties. he wants you to commit suicide a what. you have a life to live...then why such helplessness..... ged rid of such torture and stay happy if you can't reconcile.... part ways amicably...

swapna (hr)     10 January 2014

thanks for your response... yes i can go ahead and file for divorce, but worried about future, kids and their future and the society pressures. also have a doubt if he would really agree for the divorce. however have sent him the notice today

swapna (hr)     10 January 2014

yes wanted to get rid, so have sent a divorce notice today, but now scared of the society pressures, kids and their future my future.... wat to expect for from his end. will he agree to divorce


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