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pratibha sharma (housewife)     25 November 2011

Is divorce a good decision

Hi,

I am Pratibha,

I posted

my queries earlier,now i want to know are divorces good for healthy society, 

if i dont want to break my family,my marriage,than what other option i

have by law,cause I know only law can help me to live with my husband,cause this time my in-laws completely

in mood to break our relationship,with support of issues i mention earlier,

is there any way,so that i can live freely as well as with my husband happily.cause i know my husband dont have any issue,but when my in-laws tell him that i should do as according to their instruction,than only he gets angry with me.

plz  help me,i really want to save my marriage.what should i do....



Learning

 17 Replies

Aishwarya (Teacher)     25 November 2011

be firm tell him u dont want a divorce and do everything to show and prove ur love for him.

.all they want is a typical bahu and one who follows them ...do it for some time..just to get control of things..lastly ull be the one who has to live with ur hubby ..but first accept the fact that he cannot go against his parents .

.best is to follow the same line..he will see how ur making efforts and make it visible to him so that his love grows for u ..2- 3 years down the line he will be all urs..No Gain without pain..do as they say.

another thing u asked, see ..being divorced or anything is not that big if ur something, leading a good life and have a good name and have clear reasons for the breaking of ur relationship.and moreover not a pain on ur parents or ur stbx fighting cases n things..thts wild stuff..nobody likes it and it makes things worse..

. its a rough way.

but .if u have a good man in ur life surrounded with other issues then make efforts to be with him and just change the bad to good all by urslf..

dont expect him to do it for u , its ur deal..


(Guest)

We have only been hearing what you want...we have not heard what your hubby wants..make it very clear what your hubby wants..this is most important...

I want this...I need that..has become a curse for human beings...

Talk to your husband...call him in his office..or cell or wherever..he is not a kid..

If you feel manupulated by them, i mean if you feel that they (including your hubby) want to change to to someting else..then leave them..it will be good for you...

Why: Because they are not bothered about you then..loving is a far off fact..., all they have is an IDEA and they want you to just implement the idea..you are a puppet..a Robot..but human beings cannot be programmed...or posessed...it will be difficult for you later...

Get to know what your hubby wants...and then be clear of the above mentioned issues and then make a decision...

Gautam

richa kapoor (designation)     09 December 2011

COME OUT OF SUCH EMOTIONS. IF UR MAN REALLY WANTS TO LIVE WITH U. IT WILL HAPPEN BY HOOK OR CROOK. DONT GIVE HIM DIVORCE RATHER CONTEST THE CASES, BUT I WANT TO TELL U THAT IT IS A  WASTE OF TIME, EFFORT AND MONEY OTHERWISE THINGS WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THIS FAR. PLS BEAR IN MIND THAT U SHOULD IN NO WAY BECOME WEAK IN UR EMOTIONS JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF IT HAS TO HAPPEN IT WILL HAPPEN............. MAY GOD BLESS U!!!!

Rohit Shukla (Engineer)     09 December 2011

@ Gautam ---- Very clear and crisp advice

shrinivasg Advocate. (N)     09 December 2011

If he is really against you go for divorce.Otherwise try RCR. ultimately when all eforts are over, money matter.Get good compensation and settle the issue in time.

Tejal (house wife)     12 December 2011

hi to all. In lots of cases the parents either of boys or  girls are the main resposible for a problem between husband & wife. If wife is getting tortured by his inlaws & husband just become a puppet of his parents.& this situation comes at the stage of divorce. Cant wife ask to live separate  with her husband from her inlaws who torture her?

 

i think Courts have to give a suggestion to live separate from the family in these kind of cases instead of giving divorce.

shrinivasg Advocate. (N)     13 December 2011

I agree with the suggestion of tejal. Communication with each othr will atomatically solve the problem. Igo should not come in the way from both sides.

Tejal (house wife)     13 December 2011

Mr. shrinivas

 

Women get afraid to ask their husbands to leave separate from their cruel family members. Is this a crime according to law? cant woman ask to live a piecefull life with her husband if  she is being harrasing too much from her inlaws instead of chosing a way of divorce?


(Guest)

Its all double standards followed by wife


When parents of wife are trying to teach something good , its their good part and care and love for their daughter..


When Inlaws trying to teach their daughter in law something good its mental torture and domestic violence

 

 

Likewise,

 

When wife's parents calls her up its parents love and concern and care...

 

If husband's parents call him its taken for instigation against wife and bla bla bla...

Tejal (house wife)     13 December 2011

no i m not telling about normal interfere. but big isues ( Dahej, gaaliya,marpit,in my case i m s*xualy harresed by my FIL ) in which husband is not involved but doesnt support his wife cause of some greed of property or love of his parents.

 

so cant wife ask to live separate with her husband according to law of humen rights?


(Guest)

@Tejal,

If one takes all your words on face value then one would not like to continue the relations at all.."The problems which you mentioned like s*xally harassed by FIL"..do you understand the meaning & depth of this allegation  ?? There is something fishy about the story i guess. We are yet to hear the truth from husband side and true version.

 

1 Like

Tejal (house wife)     13 December 2011

It is about unwanted touch, in any parts of a woman body , & talking a velger tlaks, non-veg jokes, want me to scrub on his bake when taking a bath .  Not the way u r thinking.When Me & also my husband  made an objection about this &  My Fil clearly told "This is my house & i will do whatever i want to do if you both will leave the house i will donate all the property to someone else." So my greedy husband turned with him & told me" Just adjust with my father , he will not be alive more than 10-20 years".But i m not ready to live with that person who have accepated about whatever he done.& now i m ready to give him divorce. because now my husband is not trustable he can sold me for money anywhere.( you know pandavas & dropadi)


(Guest)

@Tejal

Good that you have taken a decision now..wish you luck

Aishwarya (Teacher)     13 December 2011

ultimately it is an individuals choice, irrespective of the opinion's and advices provided by others, we can just give out suggestions conscientiously ..


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