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Surajit Rana (Senior Developer)     27 August 2016

Problems faced in getting divorced


My friend and her husband are staying separately from last 1.5 years. In the mean time the girl didn't want to go back to her husband's place due to his unsupportive nature towards her and the guy only listens to his parents. Moreover the guy doesn't allow her to be in contact with her single parent mother who is dependent on her.

She had gone to a lawyer, who in order to extract money from the guy had put a Domestic Violence (DV) case fow which the girl already has police FIRs filed during the incident. As a result of the DV case filed in Bangalore, the guy went to Kolkata and filed a Divorce case due to which the girl had problems in attending the trials since she had to always travel from Bangalore to Kolkata. The girl had to hire a lawyer in Kolkata so that the case gets transfered to Bangalore. 

The current situation is, the case is in Delhi supreme court and undergoing mediation process for which the guy is not willing to attend as per his lawyer while the girl has gone to attend this today.

While on the contrary, the DV case which was filed in bangalore is pending since 1.5 years where the guy has stated this to judge that he wants the girl to come back with a condition that she should not remain in contact with her mother at all. While out of court, the person states that he wants 5 lakhs from the girl in cash to let her go and he will sign the mutual divorce.

So as a whole we are in a dead-lock situation. Kindly let me know as what can be done if the guy is not willing to do anything. My friend is so stuck in life. 

Please advice us what should be the next steps. Is there a possibility by which she can take divorce under Ex-Parte decree.


 15 Replies

stanley (Freedom)     27 August 2016

@ Author 

1. By any chance is she your girlfreind as from you post  it seems you are desperate .

2. your post states that she has filed DV but after reading the same it seems there was no cruelty or evidence . 

3. She cannot  get divorce even on the grounds of cruelty or desertation . Since she has deserted him .


4. Agree to his terms of Divorce and pay him his demands and take mutual Divorce thats the only way now . 

5. Ex - parte Divorce takes place  when he does not attend the proceedings .

b.goheel   27 August 2016

@ Ramesh Singh - your answer is most appropriate. for sake of argument, suppose queriest put the problem as it is own ?? in this advanced communication technology era it is hard to find who is behind curtain ?
@ queriest : general belief prevailed that only groom find the difficulties of tranfer. since your case is apex court then there is no question of tranfer bcoz apex court is only at delhi.

KS Johal   28 August 2016

No need to pay any money. Just file the FIR.

KS Johal   28 August 2016

No need to pay any money. Just file the FIR.

stanley (Freedom)     29 August 2016

Originally posted by : autohide4u
No need to pay 5 lakhs.

Did you file 498a/406/377/307/506 FIR case already? Does husband have bail? 


@ Autohide 


And when it comes to evidence stage how are you going to prove the above false FIRs 's 

innocenthusband   30 August 2016

Originally posted by : autohide4u
 Conviction can be based solely on testimony of complainant if found reliable as repeatedly affirmed by Supreme Court.


A grade cheapass trolling, and absolutely shameless one at that. No conviction, I repeat, no conviction has been handed down at ANY court in India on the basis of testimony alone. Evidence is a basic pre-requisite. The law does not work like your Sunny Deol version of kanoon on TV. Learn to understand the difference between stuff on TV and real life. Once you switch off the TV, real life takes over. Here, only sense prevails. 


Originally posted by : autohide4u
Go attend another men's cry baby group meeting. 



You speak from good experience? I guess you couldn't cry enough at your meetings hence you come here to ask a gazillion questions and troll people left and right.

stanley (Freedom)     30 August 2016

stanley (Freedom)     30 August 2016


@ Auto Hide 

1. Are you a lawyer or a Liar.

2. Come out of your hangover  and see the question you have raised "File an FIR " Its your  height of  stupidity .

3. Every case is different be it a civil or a criminal case . 

4. Upon filing of affidiavt the judge should pass a judgement as per your view since its the sole testimony " Gospel truth " " oral evidence "  But it is not so ?.

5.There are stages where in Petition is filed ,say has to be given .evidence is sumbited , witness called for  , Cross examination etc takes place , evidence is closed and final arguments are submitted and than judgement takes place .

6. law is not as per your whims and fancies or like you state oral evidence is enough .Now can you state how can you prove domestic violence which takes place inside four walls of the bedroom is my question mark to you as there are no witness etc . With no witness etc and just by what you state " oral evidence " .

7.  you dont have to vent out your anger on a few people who are facing these problems .They come here for advise . If you are unable to give it its better to shut up rather than giving false advise . If you can guide the person please do so logically.

9. I am a person who has fought my own cases and come out of them clean . 


10 . Its high time you pull up your chaddis and talk some sense .




anil   30 August 2016

From Autohide4u

"Are you both among the breed of men who spent teenage years craving attention from all the pretty girls in your neighborhood? Did you have this fairytale dream of a virgin wife? One who acts like Sunny Leone in bedroom and sati savitri in front of your parents ? One who makes better chapattis than your maid servant? Did the reality of adult relationships hit you in the face after marriage? Was it difficult to understand that you are asking another adult human being to adapt completely to your home and your lifestyle like flip of a switch?"

I totally disagree with above lines from Autohide4u,  Im not sure what it means in life of autohide4u, its better not to auto hide ur past and come out with real name. its insult of Sati savitri and sunny leone, both acepted there past present future and told every body and its other other to decide about them .they are not auto hiding anything. if a lady is not virgin she should accept before marriage and clearly tell her past to future husband . why to do false comitment , same applies to husband also. all term and conditions from boy/girl should be fully discussed before marriage. It seems few girls or boys by hiding past making statement true" 100 choohey (rats) khaa k billi ( cat) haj ko chali". by doing this they spoinly life of other partner and breaking trust. if girl or boy is not virgin then they should file a case on that guy/girl with whom they enjoyed day night. why they targetting inocent people who still belive in consitution of marrige . life of other partner is not ganga ki ganda kaam kar k uskey pass ja k do lo apney paap aur usko jindagi bhar rona padey.

Girl or boy lost virginity with other and marrying other is a conspiracy. might be they are doing marriage only for money and again they will go to other or old partner. see newspaper you will get answer of bad character ladies gents.

I m sorry for spelling and gramatical mistakes , but if you lost virginity then do not spoil of any inocent guys /girls life on false pretext of marriage. start business of loosing it not business of marriage.

A walk alone (-)     30 August 2016

@surajit , you can suggest your friend to pay 5 lacs instead of wasting time and money in court. Ask her to go MCD.

innocenthusband   30 August 2016

Originally posted by : autohide4u
It balances the heavily lopsided social norms related to marriage and allows women to exit a failed marriage on their terms. 


Ever heard of this thing called MCD? Many incompatible couples engage in it and walk out of marriages within 6-8 months. As simple as that. The law has never said that 498A, DV etc need to be applied. One can easily guess why MCD doesnt cross your mind. You want to exact revenge. Preferably with cash. Thats the cherry on top of the cake, right?



Originally posted by : autohide4u
Women use 498a FIR in very large numbers these days. If it is so ineffective and so risky (perjury) then why do they do it? Are all of them so foolish?



There are more members on this board who believe paying money is the one stop solution to their problems. A majority of members here are under the assumption that a divorce after getting rid of 498A will take at least ten years (you included). 498As are only effective if the woman is able to prove it. In a majority of cases husbands have become violent with their wives, not because it was habitual but it was circumstantial. They use these one time violent incidents to get the 498A filed. Then there is an entirely different group of people who stay apart and then find the 498A at their doorstep one day. The 498A was made to protect the woman. Unfortunately it did not take into account that the woman can also misuse it. The 498A IPC exists only in India and it has a loophole which is being misused everyday. A majority of people end up paying money because they want to "exit" and "enjoy life" and not "waste time". Many of them end up with the same kind of women, because they learned nothing from their previous marriage. There have been a couple of instances on this very forum where some people have got 498A for the second time (after remarriage)


As you can see in an earlier thread, when the poster was informed to not return stridhan, he returned today to parrot the same question "how can I return stridhan". He asks this when his wife posted 498A without asking him to return her stridhan. I can only shake my head in anguish when I read such posts from stupid and foolish people. He has already lost and he is digging the hole as deep as he can so that he can never escape. 



Originally posted by : autohide4u
These FIRs work, plain and simple. They meet the objective of the wife better than any other path available to her. 


They do, but they do no damage to men who live peacefully with their new gfs even after the woman has raised everything she can, I have seen plenty of cases in court where the husband has gone missing - these are mostly real cases, and in these cases the woman raises no 498A because it serves no purpose. They try for alimony, but the husband is just missing. In fake 498As, you will find that the husband does not miss a single case and runs from pillar to post to dispose the case. A majority of such people are found on these forums.


In summary, once again you are offering wrong and hateful advise. MCD is an option for every couple. If the wife is abused, she can use 498A and DV. If there is no abuse from either end, just use MCD and move on.

innocenthusband   31 August 2016

Originally posted by : autohide4u
Willfully failing to take responsibility for sustaining the marriage or willfully expecting undue amount of compromise from your wife to sustain the marriage is a form of abuse when seen in larger context of Indian society. Such abuse is a form of cruelty and can potentially drive a woman to suicide. 


Absolutely not. No woman needs to commit suicide. She can begin divorce proceedings and get separated from the husband. Besides, no one can predict the future. No one can predict that your husband is going to stray to another woman, no one knows if he will be alive tomorrow. A woman, of marriagable age must have the strength to face her future no matter what happens. Instead of resorting to suicide, she has to find a way to move ahead in life. For people like you who are overly dramatic, suicide is the only option. There are everyday examples of women who have severed ties from husbands who deserted/abused them without slapping false charges and lived normal lives. In short, its called being mature and being responsible to take care of your life. People who can't do that resort to filing false charges, extorting their inlaws by claiming to the police that they were on the verge of committing suicide. If the husband has committed violence, there is no court in India that will pardon him from the injuries mentioned on the medical report. He will be sentenced to jail in accordance with IPCs. Millions of women are physically abused but a very small percentage of them use the laws designated for them. Instead it is the dramatic women from upper middle class families who indulge in legal warfare.


Originally posted by : autohide4u
One cannot marry a girl and after one month tell her to pack up and leave, take MCD queitly and move on. Such behaviour is rightfully criminalized by Indian law. Marriage is not like going to a prostitute. 


Like I said, the husband can get killed in a car accident the next day after marriage. She must have the strength to move on. 

You are talking like an aggrieved woman when you talk of marriage as going to a prostitute. No man would think so, as a prostitute is a far more economic manner of fulfilling ones desires without having to pay anything more than the services rendered. A prostitute is economically advantageous to any man. There is no alimony, there are choices of different women every night, there is no drama and there is no question of looking after kids. But why do men marry? For women like you who entertain abusive thoughts as equating a marriage to prostitution, there can be no anwer. You are consumed in your anger against men, taking it out here in the forum. I now understand why you indulge in your mocking. You simply hate men, through and through. Well, honey, you shouldn't judge every man as being like your ex husband. Sorry he treated you like a prostitute, but that doesnt mean all men are like him.


Originally posted by : autohide4u
Perhaps making you face a criminal trial, run around in courts and pay maintenance is your wife's way of driving this fact into your stubborn head. Perhaps the reason you are still running around in courts is because you still don't get it. 


Funnily people who have no understanding of the law think that maintenance needs to be paid to women who misuse the law. Allow me to explain that the law will strike down alimony on those who raise false 498A. There are umpteen cases where alimony has been denied to women who raised false cases. Also, the law mentions that divorce can be granted against women who raise false case as it constitutes "mental cruelty". Unfortunately interim maintenance has to be paid until the case is declared false.

People "run around court" like I do because , as I said earlier, the law does not differentiate between false and real cases. The IPC was drafted keeping the safety of the woman in mind, by introducing immediate arrest of husband and inlaws. Only very recently was the part of "immediate arrest" removed, allowing people to apply for AB.


Sorry honey, nobodys being stubborn here. You're being unreasonably hateful and vindictive because your husband abused you, and escaped. His escape is what fuels your anger. No point directing it towards me, dear. 

innocenthusband   31 August 2016

Originally posted by : autohide4u
I am not your honey. I am also not your dear. 


I can call you whatever I want, honey. laugh


Originally posted by : noname_123
Autohide You are an idiot.



Originally posted by : noname_123
Its better you hide yourself before your ex starts claiming damages by filing criminal defamation.


Looks like her hubby has not paid her anything to get the false case removed. Poor woman, its tough for her to have masterminded it all and find it fall flat on her face lol


innocenthusband   31 August 2016

Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh
I am unable to find surface tension of first drop in an ocean of WORD.


You can find it if you jump into that ocean with a bag of heavy rocks tied to your body.

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